Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

First of all

Second, I had my twins at 30 weeks which meant they had to stay in the NICU for 6 weeks! Talk about an emotional roller coaster! The scare of them being born so early but the joy of being able to meet them but then back to the daily fears for them. It takes its toll on you for sure.

I think it was around the third day that they were there and I walked in and the nurse started talking to me and updating me and I just started crying! All of the tubes and wires....ugh, it was heartwrenching! They finally came home and we couldn't have been more happier to all be under the same roof again!

DH still doesnt really like to see the pics from the NICU, it bothers him even though they are beyond thriving at this point. Im okay with it.

I think what might help you when you think about leaving him at night and everything is to just try and remember that he was in the best hands as (medically) possible. Thats what was best for him at that point in his life. Not many people can say they've had a perfect delivery, mine was FAR from it. If nothing works for you, just look at your little boy and appreciate all the time you have to spend with him now. Im sure with time you will be able to not become so emotional when you think back. But in all honesty, it all only shows what a good mommy you already are!

Feel free to FM if you ever need to vent!

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

My triplets were born at 36 weeks which is fullterm but my 1DD was only 4 lbs 2 oz and spent a week in the NICU bc of her wieght and had no other issue while my other 2 DCs were 5 lbs 4 oz and 5 lbs 5 oz and were in the regular nursery and came home with me after 4 days. It KILLED me to see my baby in the NICU and I had a very difficlut time going in there to see her especially since she really wasnt sick and the others babies in there need to much more of the staffs attention. I did go down to the NICU as much as I could while I was still in the hospital but it was hard bc I still had the other 2 babies there. I went home on a Wed and DD came home that Fri but I only went up to the NICU once while DH went 2 time a day while I was home. It stills bothers me to this day and feel that bc she was in the NICU she didnt get the love and attention she needed the first few days of her life. I thank GOD every day that my kids now at 18 months are all healthy and without any health issues. I cant even look at pics when she was in the NICU bc she was so tiny and it breaks my heart. I give all the Moms who have had kids in the NICU for long periods of time ALOT of credit for being able to get up there and spend time with their babies. I am a very strong person but seeing my baby there just broke me.I wish you and DH all the best. Congrats to you as well.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

I went through it twice.

My first DS was born early and very sick. He was worst pale shade of gray I had ever seen when he was born. They rushed him out of the delivery room and straight into the nicu.

I couldn't breast feed, I couldnt even hold him the first night because he was hooked up to so many wires. He had breathing issues.

I had to leave with him still there. It broke my heart into millions of pieces. It was a hard labor, a rough birth and now I had to leave my precious tiny baby there alone. I cried myself to sleep.

He came home 3 days later.


I just had my second DS in June. Everything was going fine then they broke my water and noticed that meconium was coming out. They were afraid that he had swallowed some. So the called the NICU team. Already my second sons birth was starting to mirror my first. Then about 10 minutes into pushing they nurse says something to the doctor and they come flying in and start hooking me up to antibiotics. I had spike a fever and have caught an infection.

Once DS was born the Nicu team started working on him. Thats when one of them started saying he wouldn't move his arm. I felt my heart start breaking all over again. They showed him to me for a few seconds and then he was gone to the NICU where he stayed my whole hospital stay and 2 days after I left. Turns out his arm was just numb from him being so big and over due. He ran out of room.

I think back to my boys birth all the time and it tears me apart every single time. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through.

But they are both super healthy now and I am thankful every day.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

DS is 18 months, and I rarely think about him being in the NICU anymore, but this thread made me go back and find this pic of how I got to know DS for his first week. When he was born he wasn't breathing or crying.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

that's a beautiful picture!

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

Thank you everyone for responding to my message...I'm sorry if I brought back any sad feelings! I feel like when I talk about this at the time it gets me upset but makes me feel better in the long haul!
I read everyone's stories and each of them made me emmotional...I don't want to use the word nice but it is nice to know that there are other women out there who have been through what I have been through and understand and feel the same
Everyone was so nice to offer me to talk to them and I will definitely take up that offer when I get upset...thanks girls, you really made me feel better!

I feel like this is our own little support group, you know!
The positive is that it made my little familiy stronger and I don't sweat the small things as much as I used to!

Message edited 1/20/2011 12:45:28 PM.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

I am so sorry you are going through this. This thread brought tears to my eyes reading everyone's responses. Both of my boys were in the nicu. Ds 1 was 6 weeks early. Ds2 was 3 1/2 weeks early but born with pneumonia.. It was the hardest time in my life. 3 years later and I still get upset when I think of it. I can't even put into words the feelings that the whole experience left me with. When I get upset I try to remind myself of what amazing boys they are.



eta. I just saw your pics and your little one is beautiful!

Message edited 1/20/2011 10:01:35 PM.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

my dd was in NUCU for 76 greulling days I know exactly what you are going through it was tough she was born at 27 weeks gestation and there where times when we thought we were never bringing her home...she is now almost 2 1/2 and doing great if you need to talk to FM me...

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

I had a very similar situation as you. I spiked a fever during labor and they whisked DS away to the NICU. I only got to hold him for a moment and then they took him away They would not let me see him until I was fever-free for 24 hours. They brought me up to my room and I dreamt about my little angel while DH got to go in and hold/feed him. The next morning, I could only see him through the window. I was itching to hold and kiss him and couldn't stop crying.

It broke my heart to see the IV on his tiny little hand. I remember the NICU doctor coming in to tell DH and I that they were going to have to perform a spinal tap on DS bc he spiked a fever. DH and I both just broke down crying and I am getting teary-eyed just typing this. My heart just ached when I'd think about how teeny and new DS was and how he was being poked and pinched and feeling pain. DH and I couldn't stop beating ourselves up over it. I felt like my body had failed me and DS.

I was so jealous of the other moms who were able to keep their DC's in the room with them all day. My roommate had her DD with her all day and was BF at night so I got to watch her feed and bond with her daughter while my son laid in an incubator on a different floor.

To make matters worse, I had planned on EBF but that didn't happen. The NICU nurses gave him formula and by the time I was allowed to see him and tried to BF him, he had such a hard time latching. The nurses wanted him on a strict feeding schedule and when it took me over an hour to BF, they'd come in and start giving me such a hard time that DH finally had to scream at them. It took me 6 weeks to finally get him to latch properly because of the nipple confusion.

Leaving the hospital without him was the worst day of my life. Seeing the empty carseat in the backseat was almost too much to bear. I cried the whole way home and then just curled up in bed and cried some more.

I know exactly how you feel and I just want to send you some
The sadness you are feeling will dissipate with time, I promise. If you ever feel like talking, you can always FM me. Your LO is adorable, congratulations!!

Message edited 1/20/2011 10:57:54 PM.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

My son spent 6 days and nights in the NICU. I will never forget it. I will never forget leaving the hospital without my baby. There's so much more I can say but it's not always easy to talk about those days.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

C spent a week in NICU and I only got to hold him for a minute before they whisked him away....then I wasn't allowed to visit him for hours. It was so horrible, I was hysterically crying to DH. I don't think I'll ever forget driving back and forth to the hospital 2/3 times a day (my mom was in another hospital and we were literally leaving one and driving to the other). I would have to pump in the car as we drove. And I remember crying every time we got there, and begging the nurses to let me hold him just a bit longer. And of course, my heart breaking over these tiny babies around us.
And yet, I wouldn't trade it for the world because we have the most wonderful little boy in our lives now. It was all worth it. The staff at Good Sam was amazing and I know he was receiving the best of care. I think back to how I broke down in front of one of the nurses cuz I thought we were bringing him home that day but when we got there he was back under the jaundice lights and I know how far we've come.
It's a very tough thing, but when your baby comes home with you, you will know he's absolutely fine.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

Totally know how you feel. DS was born 10 weeks premature and spent 6 weeks in the NICU. 3 years later I still think about that time and how I was cheated out of a normal joyous birth experience. I am now preggo with no. 2 and I find myself thinking back to that time much more often. I have had a lot of anxiety throughout this pregnancy thinking about the possibility of having another NICU baby.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

I am going through this right now
So I can relate!

My twins were born 6 weeks premature and very unexpectedly. Nothing about my delivery was normal. I had preeclampsia and I also had to be put under general anethesia so I "missed out" on their birth. So needless to say I started out this journey so sad that I would be missing it.

I had alot of complications following my c section and really wasn't able to see them until the 3 rd day. It was so hard. I was so mad that everyone else got to see them and i couldn't be theire mommy.
Once I finally got to see them I felt so disconnected...it really took a day or 2 for it to feel real and that they were mine.

I cried the entire day of my discharge from the hospital. (which was tues). but it has gotten better since. I just feel so guilty everytime I leave them. BUT I know they are in amazing hands and I try to look at the positive in that I really get to learn how to take care of them with nurses around me so some of the fear of bringing them home and not knowing what to do is gone.

Hang in there

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

yup. our ds was in for 10 days.

when we went to lamaze class the nurse told us of the most common reasons they go to the nicu(even though we weren't expecting a sick baby).

when ds was born(after 27 hours labor inc. 2 1/2 hours pushing) they were trying to get him to breath right. they let dh hold him for a minute, and put him on my chest to see if he would get better. then all of a sudden they wisked him away to the nicu. I was suppose to go home on a Friday, and it sounded like he might be Saturday. The first day I was so sick from the magnesium sulfate stuff I didn't visit that much. It broke my heart to see him there though. Saturday release turned into maybe Tuesday. Tuesday release turned into - oh he willl need the full 10 days of anitibiotics. so on Friday after the last dose, they released him. While he was in the nicu it was discovered he had partial lung collapse, he had jaundice which they took him off the machines then he went back on. and you probably know those are the ones where they put horseblinders on. he had pneumonia - a bad case of it which is why it was 10 days. antibiotics, an xray, and spinal tap. The iv block they kept attached to him even ended up to his head cause it wasn't staying on elsewhere and the nurse was calling him a unicorn. I cried when we visited, and it almost felt like the nurses were him mommy there, the way we had to give him back at the end. It felt weird to leave the hospital and just walk out, when most people are being wheelchaired with the baby on their lap. Even when the baby was released they put the carset ontop of the bassinet and wheeled it downstairs to our car.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

This is the first time that I've been able to go on LI Families and I'm so glad that I did. I am going through the same exact situation. My baby was born exactly two weeks ago today and she's still in NICU. Thank God she is doing well but she is very small, she was born six weeks early and only weighed 3lbs 1oz. Thankfully she has been able to breathe on her own from the beginning and is already bottle feeding. She is currently at 3lbs 6oz. It's a slow progress but she's getting there. Going to the NICU to spend time with her everyday can be very depressing. She is thriving and the nurses are fantastic but I can't help but feel jealous when other moms are taking their kids home, I feel robbed of this time with her. I also feel like no one understands unless they've been through it. Please feel free to FM me if you want to vent or talk, sometimes it feels very lonely, no matter how much family means well it's difficult to describe to them how we're feeling.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

My DS was also in the NICU for a week. I spiked a fever and then had a c-section. He also had a fever at birth as well as low blood sugar, so he was whisked away after I was able to give him a kiss.

His blood test came back positive for infection so he had to stay in NICU for 7 days. He was 9 lbs. at birth so you can imagine what he looked like in there next to all the preemie babies - I felt horrible!

It was hard to leave the hospital without him. Recovering from a c-section and then traveling to the hospital was really hard and tiring. I was so happy when we were finally able to take him home. I don't let it bother me because I know he had the best care and that they were being over cautious for his benefit.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

DS was in the NICU for 9 weeks. We knew ahead of time he'd probably be in there for maybe a week (including a shunt surgery for his brain) and then encountered so many issues. It was so hard! Now that DS is 3 1/2 I don't think about it much. But I do have to say that sometimes (not every time)when i tell DS's story I do tear up because it brings up those feelings from when we went through it and what a struggle it was and has been since then. I also have a hard time thinking about or looking at the pics we took of him when we thought he was going to die

So I get it! It does get easier as time goes on and over time there are so many other things to do, remember, think about, that I don't think you'll dwell on it as much.

Re: Moms who had newborns/babies in NICU

I had a similar experience. Luckily I was able to nurse dd Before they discovered I had a temp. I doubt I even had one, they had a heated blanket on me for quite awhile before they even took it!! So I was told she automatically needed to go into NICU for 48 hrs.

She wound up being in there for a week. I totally feel like it was just an insurance thing. She was VERY healthy and I felt sorry for the other little angels in there that needed the attention she was getting. After the48 hrs they told me she wasn't peeing frequently enough so she had to stay in longer.

I discovered that the nurses weren't counting any of her diapers with poop in them as having urine. I was ready to strangle someone. They insisted she needed an ultrasound of her kidneys because they didn't feel they were functioning correctly. I asked how is an standard us a functional test?? No answer. Finally they dropped the urine/ kidney issue and said she had a lactose intolerance. She then had to stay even longer while they monitored on special formula. The other issue was she was given formula against my wishes!! So while they did this they told me I can continue to bf...ummmm bm has more lactose than formula!! Anyway they had her drinking 4 oz of form every 2 hrs. I had just had a csection after an awful labor, I pretty much had to try and get down there before her "feeding" time to nurse her. I think the nurses were bottle happy. (the hosp was under construction so NICU was FAR)

My ped agrees there was most likely nothing wrong at the time. But it was when all the swine flu drama was occurring. She didn't want me to pull her out AMA incase she had to readmit her, NICU is better than the ped floor.

It was the most diff day of my life leaving without her. Luckily it was only one day. I just tried to put it in the past and follow thru with getting my baby off formula on bm exclusively. Luckily with my wonderful hubby and ped I got thru it and successfully bf dd for 20 mos :).