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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Moms with children with adhd/add
My 4 year old was just formally diagnosed. The Dr wants to hold off on medications till she is a bit older. I’m blaming myself. Dh is blaming himself. She’s currently in Catholic school so I need to call on Mon and see if they can accommodate her. I have to call and get a behavioral modification plan in place. I feel like crap that we’ve been reduced to many a time yelling at her for actions she can’t control.
Any tips? My head is spinning.
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Posted 2/2/18 2:50 PM  |
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LInMI
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1800 total posts
Name:
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Moms with children with adhd/add
The symptoms of ADD/ADHD and vision problems are very similar. In order to determine if a vision problem is causing some or all of these symptoms, a functional vision exam should be performed (even if your DD has 20/20 vision). When a vision problem is identified, it can be treated with vision therapy, glasses or both instead of ADD medication.
Google vision therapy. You'll be surprised at what you find!!
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| Posted 2/2/18 3:01 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Posted by LInMI
The symptoms of ADD/ADHD and vision problems are very similar. In order to determine if a vision problem is causing some or all of these symptoms, a functional vision exam should be performed (even if your DD has 20/20 vision). When a vision problem is identified, it can be treated with vision therapy, glasses or both instead of ADD medication.
Google vision therapy. You'll be surprised at what you find!!
Who have you used for vision therapy?
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| Posted 2/2/18 3:20 PM |
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LInMI
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1800 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Posted by JandJ1224
Posted by LInMI
The symptoms of ADD/ADHD and vision problems are very similar. In order to determine if a vision problem is causing some or all of these symptoms, a functional vision exam should be performed (even if your DD has 20/20 vision). When a vision problem is identified, it can be treated with vision therapy, glasses or both instead of ADD medication.
Google vision therapy. You'll be surprised at what you find!!
Who have you used for vision therapy?
I'm still in the early stages of getting my LO evaluated and learning more about vision therapy. We went to North Shore optometric group for a full eye exam (vision and health of the eye) and once we get a diagnosis we're going back to our school district for a vision evaluation and he'll get therapy through the school district.
My recommendation would be to call your school district and see if they offer vision therapy. Then make an apt with an optometrist (I was told NOT an opthamologist). If there is an issue bring the diagnosis to your district. If your district doesn't offer vision therapy, some doctor do it in house at their office.
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| Posted 2/2/18 3:45 PM |
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phoenix913
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3034 total posts
Name:
V
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
My DS is 6 and was diagnosed in December, but we've suspected for a lot longer. Don't beat yourself up about it. You know now and that's all that matters.
I highly recommend seeing a behavioral therapist if you can. We've been going to one since last May and DS has made vast improvements.
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| Posted 2/2/18 4:13 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Posted by phoenix913
My DS is 6 and was diagnosed in December, but we've suspected for a lot longer. Don't beat yourself up about it. You know now and that's all that matters.
I highly recommend seeing a behavioral therapist if you can. We've been going to one since last May and DS has made vast improvements.
May I ask who you are seeing? Her dr suggested seeing one.
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| Posted 2/2/18 4:39 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Moms with children with adhd/add
DS was diagnosed with ADHD at age 5 after being diagnosed with a pragmatic speech delay at age 3, but hitting none to minimal on the autism tests (though I suspect he’s mildly PDD-NOS or asperger's as well). I blamed myself constantly. He had such a rough year in Kindergarten. We put him on meds as the final resort after behavior plan after behavior plan after modification after screaming and crying. He’s doing so well this year by comparison. It’s night and day.
Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions as you go through the process. There’s a Long Island Special Needs support group on Facebook that’s a wealth of knowledge.
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| Posted 2/2/18 4:58 PM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
I’m a school psychologist. Please please don’t blame yourselves. I think that you are incredible parents for being so aware of and on top of what your child needs. Being a parent is so overwhelming that we all react on the spot to things that we later regret whether our child has a disability or not (and even more so when children do have disabilities and there’s an extra layer of challenge at times). The important thing is that going forward, you have a diagnosis that will help guide you towards how to structure your feedback towards your child. I agree that it’s important for you to work with a behaviorist you feel comfortable with. Your school should be open to having a behavior plan and/or a 504 plan for your dd in the school. She may even qualify for some behavioral therapy or a seit under cpse (who will go under the catholic schools under the auspices of cpse). Call your school and the school district. Sending hugs.
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| Posted 2/2/18 7:52 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Posted by ChristinaM128
I’m a school psychologist. Please please don’t blame yourselves. I think that you are incredible parents for being so aware of and on top of what your child needs. Being a parent is so overwhelming that we all react on the spot to things that we later regret whether our child has a disability or not (and even more so when children do have disabilities and there’s an extra layer of challenge at times). The important thing is that going forward, you have a diagnosis that will help guide you towards how to structure your feedback towards your child. I agree that it’s important for you to work with a behaviorist you feel comfortable with. Your school should be open to having a behavior plan and/or a 504 plan for your dd in the school. She may even qualify for some behavioral therapy or a seit under cpse (who will go under the catholic schools under the auspices of cpse). Call your school and the school district. Sending hugs.
Thank you so much. Ill call my SD on Mon.
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| Posted 2/2/18 8:10 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Don't blame yourselves I don't think its something they learn nor something you could really have prevented. 
I am just wondering how at 4 they diagnose this? I feel like what kid at that age doesn't have some kind attention issues.
Just wondering how they know its that and not just the age?
I am taking my DS who is 4 now to see a neurologist next month. The CPSE director recommended it for me. He misbehaves apparently more at school then he does at home. Actually at home I barley have to yell at him.
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| Posted 2/2/18 11:05 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Posted by blu6385
Don't blame yourselves I don't think its something they learn nor something you could really have prevented.
I am just wondering how at 4 they diagnose this? I feel like what kid at that age doesn't have some kind attention issues.
Just wondering how they know its that and not just the age?
I am taking my DS who is 4 now to see a neurologist next month. The CPSE director recommended it for me. He misbehaves apparently more at school then he does at home. Actually at home I barley have to yell at him.
My child is a textbook case and we have suspected adhd since she was a toddler. She is hyper in all environments. Correction doesn’t work and leaves everyone frustrated. It’s already affecting her accademically and I’m beginning to see it in her social experiences too. Her mind and movement never shuts off.
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| Posted 2/3/18 9:34 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
First off don’t blame yourself. You actually are being the best parents to your daughter, you sought out treatment and help for her. I think the worse thing a parent can do is ignore the signs and not do anything.
We went through this with my stepson and now my son. It’s most likely hereditary since all the cousins in my sons family have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD.
My stepson was diagnosed with ADHD with behavioral problems. I have so many posts describing what we did with him. He is 20 now and a totally different person. He went to therapy and took medication for 4 years. The worse thing my DH says he did was wait so long to address the problem and seek help. My stepson wasn’t diagnosed till 12.
With my son he is fine at home, he struggles in school. I see a little here and there when he is with me but school is where he can’t focus and is a totally different kid. Because his grades dropped a lot last year in 3rd grade, we decided to medicate him this year.
My advice to you is to limit video games, iPads/devices - ADHD kids tend to latch on to those things to keep them focused and zone out in their own world. It limits their ability to be social and they have a tendency to become addicted. I put my son in Martial arts, and other activities to keep him busy. He loves acting so I let him participate in the school plays.
I am learning this but be patient... I used to yell at my son because he never did what I asked him to do like simple thing - hang up your coat, but your backpack away and shoes in closet. The doctor said that ADD kids look for instant gratification so they are thinking about what they want to do next to make them feel better. So when I am giving him 4 things at once to do, it’s too much for him. He will do the first thing and then go watch tv. The doctor said he’s not being disrespectful on purpose but you have to give them one or two task at a time. Be patient and redirect their focus. My son goes to catholic school and I actually switched schools because of his diagnosis.
Message edited 2/3/2018 11:24:44 AM.
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| Posted 2/3/18 11:21 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Posted by blu6385
Don't blame yourselves I don't think its something they learn nor something you could really have prevented.
I am just wondering how at 4 they diagnose this? I feel like what kid at that age doesn't have some kind attention issues.
Just wondering how they know its that and not just the age?
I am taking my DS who is 4 now to see a neurologist next month. The CPSE director recommended it for me. He misbehaves apparently more at school then he does at home. Actually at home I barley have to yell at him.
This is my son and why I didn’t realize he had ADD. Where as my stepson I knew something was really off, it was apparent at home.
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| Posted 2/3/18 11:25 AM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Posted by Sash
First off don’t blame yourself. You actually are being the best parents to your daughter, you sought out treatment and help for her. I think the worse thing a parent can do is ignore the signs and not do anything.
We went through this with my stepson and now my son. It’s most likely hereditary since all the cousins in my sons family have been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD.
My stepson was diagnosed with ADHD with behavioral problems. I have so many posts describing what we did with him. He is 20 now and a totally different person. He went to therapy and took medication for 4 years. The worse thing my DH says he did was wait so long to address the problem and seek help. My stepson wasn’t diagnosed till 12.
With my son he is fine at home, he struggles in school. I see a little here and there when he is with me but school is where he can’t focus and is a totally different kid. Because his grades dropped a lot last year in 3rd grade, we decided to medicate him this year.
My advice to you is to limit video games, iPads/devices - ADHD kids tend to latch on to those things to keep them focused and zone out in their own world. It limits their ability to be social and they have a tendency to become addicted. I put my son in Martial arts, and other activities to keep him busy. He loves acting so I let him participate in the school plays.
I am learning this but be patient... I used to yell at my son because he never did what I asked him to do like simple thing - hang up your coat, but your backpack away and shoes in closet. The doctor said that ADD kids look for instant gratification so they are thinking about what they want to do next to make them feel better. So when I am giving him 4 things at once to do, it’s too much for him. He will do the first thing and then go watch tv. The doctor said he’s not being disrespectful on purpose but you have to give them one or two task at a time. Be patient and redirect their focus. My son goes to catholic school and I actually switched schools because of his diagnosis.
Thank you. We already limit screen time because she gets out of control.
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| Posted 2/3/18 11:33 AM |
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phoenix913
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3034 total posts
Name:
V
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Sent u fm with the dr name.
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| Posted 2/3/18 11:39 AM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Posted by MichLiz213
DS was diagnosed with ADHD at age 5 after being diagnosed with a pragmatic speech delay at age 3, but hitting none to minimal on the autism tests (though I suspect he’s mildly PDD-NOS or asperger's as well). I blamed myself constantly. He had such a rough year in Kindergarten. We put him on meds as the final resort after behavior plan after behavior plan after modification after screaming and crying. He’s doing so well this year by comparison. It’s night and day.
Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions as you go through the process. There’s a Long Island Special Needs support group on Facebook that’s a wealth of knowledge.
Can you link the fb group please. I can’t find it.
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| Posted 2/4/18 8:44 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Moms with children with adhd/add
Posted by WannaBeAMom11
Posted by MichLiz213
DS was diagnosed with ADHD at age 5 after being diagnosed with a pragmatic speech delay at age 3, but hitting none to minimal on the autism tests (though I suspect he’s mildly PDD-NOS or asperger's as well). I blamed myself constantly. He had such a rough year in Kindergarten. We put him on meds as the final resort after behavior plan after behavior plan after modification after screaming and crying. He’s doing so well this year by comparison. It’s night and day.
Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions as you go through the process. There’s a Long Island Special Needs support group on Facebook that’s a wealth of knowledge.
Can you link the fb group please. I can’t find it.
Facebook Group
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| Posted 2/5/18 11:08 AM |
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