MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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More blind things 12/18
1. Poor thing.
Her constant companion can't exactly help in that department, she's had a ****** year, with no proper professional guidance, alone on the job right now and lonely and publicly rejected and ***** too...
What's a girl to do?
Well this week, she took matters into her own hands, no pun intended.
I'm actually kinda proud of her for going the healthy route. Because there is NOTHING, NOTHING wrong with taking care of your own business...with batteries.
And just in case you're still not getting my drift -think pleasure in plastic with a pulse and a buzz.
Make sense?
The best part though is that she's either lazy as f&ck or really not afraid to hide it. Because she keeps it on her bed in plain view, not unusual for me and you I suppose but when you're a celebrity away from home, when you don't have to lift a finger to for a **** thing, you tend to be surrounded by an army of people doing your bidding.
And they all have eyes.
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Got to be Jessica Simpson. Her constant companion? Creepy Daddy Joe.
2. See, this once reliable, dynamic twosome has utterly gone under the paparazzi radar, and I, oh, once again, have the exclusive dish for ya to feast on this holiday season. Don't worry—it's carb free. So, bite in!
Ferny 'n' Sass, in actuality (read: when they're not working) hold down camp in the colder climates. Think of places like Chicago and InWhySee, where basements are readily available to sprawling mansions. In fact, it is in this very sublevel arena where the male half of this union's marital vows went awry. See, unsuspecting wife-unit would wake up to discover her man outta bed and nowhere to be found in their plush quarters.
This began to happen so often, said spouse thought her hubby just might be leavin' the manse to engage in extramarital affairs; howevah, 'twas not the case. Sassy's guy, was found (by her, eventually) dressin' in drag in the basement—where their offspring efforts hold down playtime with other celeb li'l ones. Quelle horreur!
And was Ferny-babe getting himself off while wearing a particularly alluring fishnet number? No way: F.C. was caught red-(nail-polished)-handed, surfin' the friggin' Internet for home apparel and sundry women's wear. While dressed in such, natch.
Prior to this startling discovery, S.G.-F. had hired a private investigator to see where her hubby was heading at night. Good thing she played investigator herself, 'cause she saved those dollars for a high-powered attorney—who has brought her the ultimate bucks and a handy settlement deal.
But no one knows.
'Cept us.
And it ain't:
Will Smith
Will Ferrell
Reverend Run
3. A very attractive male actor at a photoshoot just this past weekend, curiously without girlfriend, making a career out of making girls want to be his girlfriend. A special bond exists between artist and subject – as explained to me, when something clicks, so to speak, it just clicks, and it’s as though the two are the room together, alone, creating magic.
Magic obviously lingered, he obviously wanted the magic to linger beyond their studio session, so he asked for a phone number. Not to go out for coffee, not for a follow up set of pictures, not for any other reason than the reason you think. A bold surprising move given that it’s not usually his style, especially since he’s not allowed to be so overt, but lately he just can’t help himself.
I’m told that in addition to the photographer, there are have been suggestive advances made to a network publicist a few weeks ago, and to an event planner a few weeks before that, much to the consternation of his professional wardens who have impressed upon him the importance of holding on just a little longer, just until the official renewal, just until the numbers climb back up. Apparently he struggles with the pressure every day.
By the way, the photographer is gay. As are all the others. But you knew that already, right?
PS. - in an unrelated matter...
4. What major A list actress will be mortified to learn that her husband was once arrested and charged for assaulting a woman, grabbing her by the neck, and punching her in the chest? They settled out of court, of course – a major payoff in exchange for silence, then buried the paperwork, but these things always have a way of coming out…
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No idea on the first one, but it must be someone on a TV show, based on the "renewal" part.
As for the second - Julia Roberts? Nicole Kidman?
Message edited 12/18/2006 10:06:30 AM.
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