My feelings are sooooo hurt!

OK- my bestest friend recently found out she is preg. and to make a very long complicated story short...she is VERY unsure of what she is going to do with this preg.

The night she found out she was preg. she called my house @ 1am...knowing I was asleep my 2.5 month old was asleep as well as DH... Of course I wasnt mad...and as always I was there for her..

The next day I spent all day making a bagillion calls trying to get her into a DR....

When the day of her apt. rolled around her BF could go with her...so I offered ( I wanted to be there for my friend...and I didnt want her to go alone) So I got up early...packed my newborn up, and sat there for 4 hrs... (Im not complaining in any way shape or form...again I WANTED TO BE THERE FOR MY FRIEND)

Her BF thinks I just found out about her preg. yesterday... (meanwhile Ive known for 2 weeks...aka the whole time)

ANYWAYS- tonight we were on the phone...I asked her if she went back to the DR for her follow up blood work...when she said no...I said... Oooo well you gotta take care of this....

WELL>>>> Her BF must of heard me, and starts yelling (SO NASTILY) GOODBYE MARISSA.... GOODBYE...

So I say to her whats that?....she goes nothing I didnt say anything? And he begins to say NO MARISSA THATS ME!!!!!

My hurt just sank, and I hung up.... Its almost as if he saying MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, AND SHUT UP....

This dosent involve me...I know this... but because that jerk couldnt be there for her I was....Ive done so much, and not because I had too, but because I wanted too....

Why is it only ok for me to be involved while Im helping you out or picking up your slack...

Im just really upset...

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

I'm so sorry! I hope he grows up and becomes more supportive soon. Any new mommy knows how hard it is with a newborn when your SO is supportive, I can't imagine how hard it would have been to do everything myself. I'll keep you and your friend in my thoughts, it must be a very stressful time for both of you.

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

Dont be upset, you are being a good friend. It doesnt sound like hes too happy with this PG and is very angry. I wouldnt take it personal, he is venting on you and Im sure your friend. I would try and get a hold of her when he is not around. Good Luck!

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

I'm so sorry you are going through this. This guy sounds like a big azz. My gut instinct- and I don't know either one of them, is that he doesn't want to have the baby and he may be afraid that hanging out with you and your baby may make her want it. I am not saying that its right... but that is what my gut says.

I think your friend needs your support more than ever. You just got a glimpse into what a jerk this guy is being to her. He is trying to cut her off from you.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Hopefully your friend will see how wonderful you are being and what an azz he is being.

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

Hang in there, you are a real friend and he does not sound like a prize at all.

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

I would be hurt and upset too, but remember that your friend is your friend, and try not to take what her idiotic BF is saying to heart..

STILL remain to be there for your friend, I'm sure this is even more difficult with her, given the fact her BF sounds like a jerk , not only to you but to her as well

I'm sorry

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

That was very nice of you to go out and support your friend. He should have been thanking you instead of yelling at you and basically telling you to mind your business.

I hope she does the right thing for herself.

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

I am so sorry!!! Dont worry, you did the right thing, this BF sounds like a real jerk.

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

So sorry to hear, that guy sounds like a real azz... hopefully she'll see that. Hang in there..

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

What cracks me up....he has no idea what ive done...because she hasnt told him...

I guess thats whats making me ****** at her.... SHe dosent want him to know that Ive known this whole time (for what reason...Im unsure) So he just thinks Im being a nosey PITA...but meanwhile....I was there doing things HE SHOULDVE DONE...

Now... does he want this baby...He dosent feel he is ready...however is going to be supportive no matter what she decides..

I actually hooked her up with this guy....he's someone my DH knows....

I am very PRO LIFE.... I dont judge anyone whose not...but thats just my personal beliefs....(however in certain circumstances...I am pro choice) Im sure he knows this...and prob dosent want her exposed to me...in thinking I will persuade her...

Her and I are supposed to go out tomorrow night...and I think im gonna cancel... Im embarassed...and again my feelings are really hurt....After all Ive done for her...how could she let him talk to me like this????

Im also thinking of writing her an email...stating I dont think we should talk until after him and her made THEIR decision...Of course if she really needed me..Id be there...but until then...I want no part in her or him...

Would that be wrong???

The night she called...my DH turned to me and said...What are you going to try and save her??? and I said "save her, what the heck does that mean? He said "ya know take her to the dr.'s and all that stuff...so I said "of course" and he turned to me and said..."Dont get involved...you always try to save everyone and they always sh!t on you..." and I said "Well...blank would never do that to me"...

I hate to say it but DH was right

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

I am so sorry! You were in the right and he's in the wrong..Big Time!!!
Try not to worry about it! You were being a great friend!!

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

I think you are right... I don't think he wants you persuading her to have the baby. As I recently learned, sometimes e-mail isn't the best way to communicate. i would call her and tell you are hurt that he spoke to you like that and that she hasn't told him how much you have helped.

I also think you are right about backing off for a little while until they make their decision. I would let her know that you will be there for her, but since she has a big decision to make and you have strong feelings one way, maybe she should decide what she wants to do and you'll back off. Just make sure she knows you will support her whatever she choses- if that's how you feel.

You are being a good friend- don't forget that.

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

I know emails isnt the best way...but Im so embarassed I really cant talk to her..

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

How come she hasn't called you back yet??

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

I don't blame you...What a jerk off


ETA..i just read the second post. If he knows that you are "pro-life" and then he hears you on the phone telling her she needs to go to appointments when they haevn't even decided what they are going to do yet. Well i can see his annoyance. ESPECIALLY when you friend didn't tell him all that you have done. I am not saying he is right, because saying what he did wasn't right at all. But i can see where it is coming from. He wants your friend to make up her mind.

But go lightly on your friend. I know you are annoyed but i am sure she has her reasons for not telling her bf about you. I can't imagine the stress she is under right now. There are lots of things i tell my friends that i know the DH probably would like if i kept to myself. But sometimes we need more than to just talk to a DH or bf. We need our FRIENDS!

I am sure this will blow over. Give her some space but don't pull away all together. I can't imagine what it must be like for her right now. Having to make such a decision. Try to understand her predicament right now and that she will need you to lean on. And it must be even more difficult knowing that 1. you just had a baby and 2. you are Prolife.


BIG HUGS to you and your friend

Message edited 12/22/2005 6:48:03 AM.

Re: My feelings are sooooo hurt!

Her apt.'s have nothing to do with keeping the baby...its bloodwork thats has to be done one way or the other.....

I wrote her....saying that my feelings were in fact hurt....and that I think it might be best if I step back and let her make her decision herself....in the end I d support her no matter what...

She said him and her had a fight after we hung up....who knows

I did get a msg from him saying "im acting like a baby" Grrrrr.... Im acting like a baby, because I was picking up his slack????? And now you feel its ok to treat me liker sh!t????


This just really sux!