My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I had a subcordial hemorrhage throughout my whole pregnancy and it bled out in my 12th week of pregnancy. I had seen and heard the heartbeat at 6 and 8 weeks and thought we were past the time when we should be worried about a miscarriage. I was, after all, entering my 2nd trimester.

I had a very normal pregnancy. M/S, fatigue, mood swings. I also had light spotting (usually brown) a couple times a week from the hemorrhage. My OB said that it was very common and that there was nothing we could do but let my body heal itself. They did warn us that this could be a cause of miscarriage but they also said not to worry about it.

I was at work on Thursday 9/11 and I had my 12 week appt. scheduled for lunchtime. I met my DH at the OB office but something felt wrong. Right before I had left for the appt I had some bright red bleeding and that had me worried. As soon as they called us back I told my OB that I thought something was wrong and that I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right with the baby. He immediately did an u/s and there was our baby... but no heartbeat or movement and my uterus was filling up with blood. Before he even said anything I just started to cry. I tried to keep it together while he went over our surgery options but as soon as he left the room, I just started hysterically crying. I couldn't believe that this had happened to me.

I had surgery the next day and our incredibly supportive OB thinks that we should be able to have a healthy baby in the future. For anyone going in for a D&C, it is not nearly as scary or painful as I thought it might be. As a matter of fact, you are on so many great drugs, I don't even remember the procedure. I will warn you, as soon as they got me all prepped and in the surgery room, I got 5 shots... 2 in each arm and one in my hip. (Pain and nausea meds.) I just wasn't expecting it so I was a little

The actual procedure was smooth -- they let all the drugs take effect and I was basically asleep while they numbed my cervix, stretched it open and then put in a little tube and removed everything in my uterus. The nice part about that is I had a little bleeding on the first day but then no bleeding afterwards.

I got confused when they said they were bringing a limo to pick me up from the recovery room. I was really confused but excited all at the same time in my drug induced haze until I realized that a "limo" is just what they call a wheelchair. Imagine my disappointment They get me all the way to my car and when I was moving from wheelchair to the car, I fainted. So what should have been a pretty quick procedure, ended up being most of our day in the recovery room at the hospital getting my blood pressure and blood sugar up. Lucky me...

Right now, we are just taking some time to deal emotionally and physically with all that has happened. I think it would have been easier to heal emotionally from if it had happened earlier in our pregnancy... before everyone knew we were pregnant and before we had become so attached to our baby. We had names picked out. We had cute outfits in the closet. We had a registry started. All of those things make it so much harder to move on.

I've spent a lot of time angry at God. Insanely jealous of every woman who has ever had a full term pregnancy. Critical of myself. But you can only be those things so long before you realize they aren't going to get you anywhere. I have faith that there is a plan for us. We want to wait and start TTC after the holidays.

Thank you for all your love and support. Your messages and FM's meant so much to me.

Most importantly, thank you to Jess (DavenJess) for all your sweet text messages and keeping me updated on LIF while I was out. I love you!!

Message edited 9/17/2008 2:04:45 PM.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

i admire you for your strength and courage to post... you are a strong girl and most of all...brave.. you went through something so traumatic..and thank you for sharing your story.. i am again so terribly sorry for your loss..
this is the place to be if you need anything!! we are all here to help!

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

You have FM

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

you were my friend before, because of LIW...and you will be my friend forever because of LIF.

i love you and will do anything in my power to help you get through this, as I have no doubt that you will and that you will be a spectacular mom.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

I know how you feel, i lost my last one at11 weeks, for a different cause though. It's still hard, I blamed God for a long time, it was my 3rd loss.I didn't (don't?) understand why it keeps happening to me..i just have bad luck.

for you and your recovery. remember, you are not alone!

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

So sorry Lizzy...

All the best to you for a speedy physical recovery and a peaceful emotional one. I hope to see you on the pregnancy board again soon when you are ready!

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

Lizzy, your story breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you've been through this. Here's to help you through this time.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

Lizzy,
Thank you for taking the time to share your story. I know firsthand what a difficult time this is and I hope you will continue to take the time to heal both physically and emotionally.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I am soo sorry for your loss

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I wish i had some advice to give...or could say something to make it better for you but I just can't.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I'm so sorry. Many thoughts and prayers coming your way Lizzy

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I am so terribly sorry
and thank you for sharing your story

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

i'm so so sorry for your loss and what you went through. I wish the best for you and your DH.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

You are so brave!!!!

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I am so very sorry for your loss. A million for you.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

Lizzy- Thank you for taking the time to share your story! I appreciate you sharing such a personal experience with us. You are an amazing person whi is very strong. Thinking about you and praying for you and your family.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I am so sorry for your loss.. I to went through a M/S and can relate to everything you're going through. Thank you for sharing your story...

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I am so terribly sorry.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I am so sorry for your loss.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I am so soory that you and your DH had to go through this. That you for having the time to post this.

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I'm sorry you had to go through that. No one can understand why God does what he does. But rest assured that your baby will come back to you. There was something wrong so God took him back up to heaven to give you time to heal and then he will send him right back down again when your feeling better. He's sleeping on a cloud with all the other babies waiting to come back to thier mothers.

You hang in there! Be strong and think positive!

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I am so sorry for your loss Lizzy

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

i'm so sorry

Re: My Miscarriage Story 9/11/08

I am so sorry for your loss. I am all too familiar with the pain and just FM me if you ever want to talk.