Need advice from fellow twin moms - please help

Hi,

Sorry for the long post!

I left my corporate job to be a sahm. Sometimes I find it hard to program my day to just focus on my twins (still trying to balance that out as I was always so busy at work and now its a different busy). Not to mention the twin factor. Sometimes I feel like a bad mom that isn't doing enough because i'm not sure what else to do or what I should be doing.

I have twin 19mth old boys and they are great. BUT I find that they get bored easily, now are fiesty, independant and some times strong willed. One is more mellow than the other. The other started to throw tantrums(ie. throwing his cup across the room if he gets upset, throwing himself on the floor and crying, etc).

During the day I find it hard to give them all of my attention. I'm a sahm doing some consulting jobs here and there nothing that takes more than 2-3 hrs out of my day and normally its when they are napping. I'm normally multi-tasking something. They wake up at the same time go to bed at the same time, have snacks and meals around the same time. Usually they are playing where I can see them if i'm cooking, cleaning, taking care of stuff around the house, etc. They do a lot of freeplay. I try to read books to them but that's always a disaster. We do go to a class once a week for their age group and the one that throws the tantrums acts up (embarrasing!). We have at least 1 playdate a week with a boy their age or a girl their age. Taking them to parks alone is a no no for me - too crazy and stressful.

- I don't know if i'm doing something wrong that could potentially cause issues for them developmentally in the long run? (i.e. too much freeplay, not doing something i should be)

- I don't know how much freeplay is too much?

- I don't know if its normal at this age to act the way they do sometimes with their tantrums, not letting me read the book without having one take it away, having one throw his cup across the room, throwing himself on the floor and crying or just going into a crying/screaming fit?

- I don't know what I should be doing with them at this age to get them to learn more skills? (they say a few words, love to look at books, they walk fine, they like to play on their own, eat fine but don't know how to use a spoon yet).

- They like to watch einstein videos and blues clues, elmo in the AM and after dinner. How much is too much?

- I don't know what is the right way to discipline when they do things wrong besides explaining not to do it and why, etc. ??

Any feedback, suggestions, recommendations are appreciated!

Thanks again

Re: Need advice from fellow twin moms - please help

I am pregnant with twins right now but my best friend has twin girls and it almost sounds to me like a combination of toddler tantrums and boredom. She always makes it a point to get her kids out of the house almost every day(barring really bad weather or something) Her Mom is around and helps her alot-do you have anyone to do things like that with? Could you take them to a gymboree or something( they can basically run free there-they are locked in a specific area with a bunch of padded things to play on)

Or you could just put them in the double stroller and get out to Target, the mall, etc. Good luck!

Re: Need advice from fellow twin moms - please help

I don't really have too much advice b/c we do a lot of the same stuff.
I am working but had the summer off. Our days sounds like yours. They do a lot of free play with the exception of a swim class on Saturdays and soon a library class. They too have the same schedule which definitely helps. I don't think you are doing anything wrong. You can only try your best. Things are a little harder with too b/c just going to the park is hard. I try to make sure either with me or the person watching them that they get fresh air.

I am sure you are fine. Try not to stress what is right and wrong as long as it is working for your family.

Re: Need advice from fellow twin moms - please help

hI i am a sahm of three, twin g/g 16 months and a 2y.o.. I definitely know what you're talking about, My kids are just like that, I wonder what else can i do to get to cooperate with me. However keeping them busy with toys, going to storytime or any other things I feel i can handle with them I do, i schedule playdates as much as I can too. YOU'RE not doing anything wrong, and so many of us moms know how hard it is, Please just know you're not alone in how you feel. we all go through this as moms.

Re: Need advice from fellow twin moms - please help

Thanks ladies. Its nice to know I'm not the only one! I was just telling my girlfriend how moms of single babies don't understand the complexity of going out, especially with 19mth olds. I find that i'm sweating and working out wherever I go chasing after each of them. I don't dare go to a park by myself! is that insane or what?! How do you handle both when you go to storytime or a park?

Re: Need advice from fellow twin moms - please help

Re: Need advice from fellow twin moms - please help

Re: Need advice from fellow twin moms - please help

Hello,

Some advise i could give you would be to venture outside at least once a day..not sure if your boys take naps but maybe get up in the morning and do one activity even if it's walking around costco or target. If you have the money join a gymboree..they offer classes and they also have open play where you can take your boys there a couple of time a week and this will help meet other moms where you can schedule play dates. My girls are 2 1/2 now and they go to a preschool mon, wed and Fri..for 2 1/2 hours and they love it and need it. They are learning so much and it's worth every penny. When my girls were 23 months they started preschool 2 days a week and it was the best thing.

I hope this helps and don't be hard on yourself..raising twins is a hard job and you are doing great..you made it this far!