LIFamilies.com - Long Island, NY


RSS
Articles Business Directory Blog Real Estate Community Forum Shop My Family Contests

Log In Chat Index Search Rules Lingo Create Account

Quick navigation:   

Need Fast Advice...

Posted By Message

rojerono
Happiest.

Member since 8/06

13803 total posts

Name:
Jeannie

Need Fast Advice...

Noah has been a horror show today. He's clearly over-tired, he's angsty and he's plain bratty.

He has a birthday party in 1 hour. I bought the gift and replied yes.

While I was at the store picking up supper, Rob told Noah that he would not be allowed to go too the party if he continued to throw fits.

Well... he screamed and hit his brother no more than 2 minutes after that threat.

So.. clearly we should folllow through. But I feel badly for the kid who is having the bday party and the mom who already paid for Noah's slot.

Should etiquette trump discipline in this situation?

I should add that Noah is CONTINUING to be horrible as we speak. He is totally out of sorts and making us INSANE!Chat Icon

Posted 4/11/09 11:58 AM
 
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource

MsMBV
:P

Member since 5/05

28602 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Need Fast Advice...

Wow that is tough. If you used the party as a punishment, then IMO you have to follow through. I would think that another mom would understand that.Chat Icon

Posted 4/11/09 12:01 PM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19458 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Need Fast Advice...

How old is your son? The "experts" say never to make a threat that you can't or won't follow though on. I personally would not have made that threat, but since it has already been done, in my mind it depends upon the age of the child. Five or older then I would just drop off the gift, with you and the child in the car and have the spouse bring it in. That way the child knows he is being punished.

Posted 4/11/09 12:03 PM
 

InShock
life is good

Member since 10/06

9258 total posts

Name:

Re: Need Fast Advice...

I would take him to the party but be VERY clear as to why you're taking him, i.e. that you don't want HIS poor behavior to ruin his friend's birthday. You are taking him to the party FOR HIS FRIEND. When he gets home from the party, perhaps follow through with a consequence of no TV or something. Chat Icon

Posted 4/11/09 12:04 PM
 

ml110
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

5435 total posts

Name:

Re: Need Fast Advice...

i think you have to follow through on the punishment. i work with kids at a school, and you definitely have to show them that you mean what you say. otherwise, they just aren't going to take you seriously and it all snowballs.

Posted 4/11/09 12:14 PM
 

KateDevine
*

Member since 6/06

24950 total posts

Name:

Re: Need Fast Advice...

Posted by InShock

I would take him to the party but be VERY clear as to why you're taking him, i.e. that you don't want HIS poor behavior to ruin his friend's birthday. You are taking him to the party FOR HIS FRIEND. When he gets home from the party, perhaps follow through with a consequence of no TV or something. Chat Icon



I agree with this

Posted 4/11/09 12:20 PM
 

My4GirlsMyLife
My 4 girlies

Member since 2/08

9702 total posts

Name:
Valerie

Re: Need Fast Advice...

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by InShock

I would take him to the party but be VERY clear as to why you're taking him, i.e. that you don't want HIS poor behavior to ruin his friend's birthday. You are taking him to the party FOR HIS FRIEND. When he gets home from the party, perhaps follow through with a consequence of no TV or something. Chat Icon



I agree with this



I also agree !

Posted 4/11/09 12:22 PM
 

ChrisDee
My Girls

Member since 11/06

9543 total posts

Name:
Christine

Re: Need Fast Advice...

This is why I always tell DH to never threaten with something you can not or will not follow though with!

Good Luck

Posted 4/11/09 12:23 PM
 

rojerono
Happiest.

Member since 8/06

13803 total posts

Name:
Jeannie

Re: Need Fast Advice...

Thanks guys.. I am not taking him to the party. Rob will stop by and drop off the gift.

Noah's five and we've been very consistant with him so he knew Rob was serious when he told him no party.. but he is at this really odd stage where he KEEPS pushing at every corner.

I was considering taking him, but since he has not stopped with the tantrums today - and since he smacked Robbie AGAIN right after my first post - he is absolutely finished and there will be no party for him.

I hope the mom understands.

Posted 4/11/09 12:23 PM
 

FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic

Member since 6/05

10212 total posts

Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)

Re: Need Fast Advice...

I saw your update. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 4/11/2009 12:24:23 PM.

Posted 4/11/09 12:23 PM
 

Violet
content

Member since 7/06

1860 total posts

Name:
Mama :)

Re: Need Fast Advice...

I think I would follow through with the punishment so he knows mom & dad means business. And send the birthday kid the gift with apologies to his mom, I am sure she will understand.

ETA: Just saw your update Chat Icon

Message edited 4/11/2009 12:28:00 PM.

Posted 4/11/09 12:26 PM
 

2BEANS
wow time is going fast.

Member since 9/07

16106 total posts

Name:
Tina

Re: Need Fast Advice...

Posted by LSP2005

How old is your son? The "experts" say never to make a threat that you can't or won't follow though on. I personally would not have made that threat, but since it has already been done, in my mind it depends upon the age of the child. Five or older then I would just drop off the gift, with you and the child in the car and have the spouse bring it in. That way the child knows he is being punished.




I agree.. but totally a tough situation.. b/c I know me personally would end up letting my dd go b/c im a sucker.

Posted 4/11/09 12:34 PM
 

headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: Need Fast Advice...

as much as it might stink for the kid whose party it is, i think that what is important here is that you are being consistent and following through.

of course i've never been in your shoes Chat Icon but i think you are doing a great job.

i hope today gets easier Chat Icon

Posted 4/11/09 12:35 PM
 
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
is anyone here? I need some fast advice...updated - spoke to the dr - thank you!!! MrsR 8/23/08 13 Parenting
2 questions, could use some fast advice?? becreative2008 11/20/08 5 TTC
Need some advice....FAST (please) Matteos-mommy 9/5/08 7 Pets
stomach virus. need advice Tumbalina 3/22/06 13 Families Helping Families ™
This mommy needs help/advice lorimarie 3/22/06 17 Parenting
Thoughts, Suggestions, Advice and/or comfort welcome 5/12 update DebG 3/22/06 56 Pregnancy
 
Quick navigation:   
Currently 284915 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
New Businesses
1 More Rep
Carleton Hall of East Islip
J&A Building Services
LaraMae Health Coaching
Sonic Wellness
Julbaby Photography LLC
Ideal Uniforms
Teresa Geraghty Photography
Camelot Dream Homes
Long Island Wedding Boutique
MB Febus- Rodan & Fields
Camp Harbor
Market America-Shop.com
ACM Basement Waterproofing
Travel Tom

      Follow LIWeddings on Facebook

      Follow LIFamilies on Twitter
Long Island Bridal Shows