New kitty with existing cat...UPDATE with new ?

We just adopted a 10 week old kitten yesterday and we have a 5 year old cat who is our "kid" right now...the kitten is separated into another room, as per directions, but I feel so GUILTY..is this normal? I feel like a mom of 2 babies-haha-trying to balance my time between them...I almost can't wait to let him come out so at least I know I don't have to close myself into another room with him...I hope this all makes sense...I have been in there a half hour this morning and now back out again and will go in again at some point..I know right now it's temporary and DEFINITELY better than the shelter, but...anyone been through this? TIA!

Message edited 7/5/2010 12:51:02 PM.

Re: New kitty with existing cat...

yep and it sucks!!! Stubby is 3 and Haley is going on 4 months.

What we did was the first day no intro's just plopped her into the room and played with her for about a hour then went back out and came back in periodically. It was easier the first two days then we allowed them to sniff each other, LOTS of hissing. Back in the room when Stubby started to paw under the door we put Haley into her carrier and put her out for a bit and stubby just looked at her and kept sniffing and hissing. In about a week they would be in the room together but not near each other we kept them busy (we used our vaca to intro both of them) once we were back at work it was hard because we felt guilty so we kinda just let them go at it when we were home.

We have some minor injuries (kitten vs cat and some rough play = some nail action) but now they kinda like each other after month and half. I think once Haley calms down it will be better.

Yes you feel so horrible having one locked up i sometimes would sit in there for hours just sleeping with her at night because i felt so bad.

Re: New kitty with existing cat...

Today my cat (Scooty) seems to be less mad at me...she's currently sitting on the towel with the kitten's (Mo's) scent on it..maybe this is positive? She also came and hung out with me on her own today after I'd been with the kitten...tomorrow Mo goes to the vet for a shot and some checking and I'll ask if we can do supervised meeting tomorrow...I like the idea of putting Mo in his carrier and letting Scooty come around at her own will, too..thanks for sympathizing with me..I was actually CRYING over this today! I feel silly, but...I guess I just want to do my best with this..what did you do when you went back to work? Kept the kitten locked up? Let them out? Luckily, I'm not working this summer, but we have a trip coming up in about 3 weeks...thanks again!

Re: New kitty with existing cat...

i kept the kitten locked up because she wasn't aware of anything else. So she stayed in the room and when i came home for lunch i would then lock up my other cat and let the kitten roam around and get play, then switch back. At night since this was week two i would let them both roam around until i was sure they would be safe together.

Right now stubby is sick and even though she is feeling better she is weak so i do the same thing. At work one of them is locked up, go home for lunch let them roam around then lock the other one up until i get home from work to let them all hang out together supervised. If I need to do something one goes in the room because the kitten wants to play and its too much for our other cat to handle righ tnow.

Re: New kitty with existing cat...

You just described my experience EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!! I felt so guilty for my first cat that we did something horrible by bringing home a new cat. She was so miserable for the first few weeks and every time she hissed at us it felt like a piece of our heart was being ripped out

I also felt bad that I wasn't bonding with the new one enough and I was afraid I would never REALLY bond with him and we wouldn't have the kind of relationship we had with my first cat.. .

What made it worse was that my first cat HATED him.. Well.. they still don't love each other (Sometimes I think he loves her though! but she puts him in his place!! ) ....... They tolerate each other very nicely though .. My older one went from not wanting to share the same air with him ... to this which was taken today .. I came home from a wax appt and they were sun bathing together.......

(oh, and a closeup of one..... because I just couldn't resist he was sleeping like that!! )

ETA: Oh, and the concern I had about bonding was not even an issue... we bonded instantly and he 10000% "my" cat .. I think he thinks I'm his cat mommy!!

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Message edited 7/2/2010 4:29:34 PM.

Re: New kitty with existing cat...

Ok...well later today is D-day! When we come home from the gym, the cats are going to meet-we'll let them roam around while we're home and then separate them when we are not...Mo went to the vet last night and had his last 2 shots and I scheduled his appointment to be fixed...I was crying at the vet's office yesterday! As the time gets closer when they meet, though, I am feeling less bad..yesterday, I spent time with both of them and Scooty was being mushy with me...Mo was being his Mo self...thanks for understanding-I felt like a whackjob!

Re: New kitty with existing cat...

So, the last few days have been an experience..there was LOTS of hissing the first day, locked Mo up at night, and then let him out for the entire next day..last night, he stayed in our bed basically all night and is out and about today..less hissing every day, so I hope it's getting better..we haven't left them alone yet...thoughts on that? It looks like during the day, they just find places to sleep and hang out and then the night is when they start really confronting each other and by then, we are home...my heart just breaks for Scooty, we hug her and pat her all the time, trying to reassure her that we love her...this is a much harder process than I thought it would be! Thanks for sticking around and reading!

Message edited 7/5/2010 12:52:45 PM.

Re: New kitty with existing cat...UPDATE with new ?

Message edited 7/5/2010 2:15:30 PM.

Re: New kitty with existing cat...UPDATE with new ?

Well, after being home with the kitties for a few days, the hissing has diminished greatly...I'm worried now (of course, worried again!) that Mo is eating all of Scooty's food! I want Scooty to eat...Mo is just faster..this morning, they were both there and I did two bowls, but Scooty would only watch Mo and of course, I think that he is eating out of both bowls...I am trying not to stress out over this and know that they are cats and it will be ok..today I am going to leave them alone a bit since the worst I see is a bit of head bopping by Scooty and Mo running away....good thing it's summer vacay and I'm a teacher!

Re: New kitty with existing cat...UPDATE with new ?

i still have that problem with them eating each others food. I sometimes lock up Haley in her room so she actually eats her own food.

Sounds like everything is working out!

Re: New kitty with existing cat...UPDATE with new ?

Thanks..last night, Mo was playing and I got Scooty some wet food...I'm sure she'll eat if she's hungry (I hope!) and this morning she got mad at him because she was eating-to me, that's justified..haha..here are a couple of pics of the kitties! (Scooty is the big one, Mo, the baby)

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Message edited 7/7/2010 10:15:03 AM.

Re: New kitty with existing cat...UPDATE with new ?

Re: New kitty with existing cat...UPDATE with new ?