new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

This is my first official post on this board, and I wish it was a better one! My beautiful little girl, Hailey Anne was born a week ago, and since I have been home, I am having crazy anxiety attacks, and have been so sad and depressed at times. I love her soooo much and are in awe of her every time I look at her, but I am so scared and freaked out by the stress and commitment that being a mom entails. I guess this is what is known as the baby blues.I feel so bad for DH bc he is so elated and I wonder why I don't feel the same way. He will be going back to work in another week or so and I don't know how I will do this without him. I am just looking for some reassurance, that this will pass, and that I am not crazy!

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

I felt the exact same way and it's totally normal. Everything is so overwhelming and nothing like what you were expecting. For me it was bad for about 2 weeks and then by 6 weeks I was pretty much back to normal. Talk to you DH about it, talk to your friends about it. You don't have to pretend. I know for me I just sat there and cried for a good part o the first week- it's crazy what hormones can do to you

Congrats on your little girl!! I promise, it will get SO much better and you will be head over heels in love with her

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! This is very normal. Most people experience it to some degree. You are not yourself physically or mentally. Your hormones are all over the place. It will be OK. I swear it gets better. I went through it, cried everyday for a while and now that DS is almost 1 yr. old, I can't even imagine that I ever felt that way. Give yourself some time and take all the help you can get. You will make it through!

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

I had my DS exactly one week ago and yesterday was the first day I didn't have a crying episode. I have been crying everyday since I have been home. It usually happens towards the night time. I get so nervous about not getting any sleep and being up all night. I have felt almost depressed at times, and missing my old life. I'm finally feeling better, and getting the hang of things. It helped a lot that DS slept wonderful last night. Getting more sleep really helps. My Dh went back to work right away so I have been doing it on my own at night.
It is definitely baby blues, are hormones are all over the place. Plus, your life has changed pretty much overnight. It takes time to adjust.

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

Totally normal....just know that!! It was funny, b/c having DH home was GREAT and then when it came time for him to go back I freaked alittle....but by the second day I was fine...and enjoying my time with DS!! You'll fall into a rountine and feel more comfortable!!!

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

you are not crazy. DD is 3 and a half weeks and I felt the same as you at first and already I am feeling almost completely normal again.

You will adjust and everything will become easier with time. I also have an 11 year old and felt the same exact way. I was so young and didn't know what to do, but it did get easier and became natural.

Feel better.

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

Totally normal. I cried every day for the first six weeks. I also had a winter baby and I will say that is really tough. The cold and darkness outside can bring you down even more. I only felt good when other people were around me. When I was alone all day with DD I felt miserable.

I can say it will pass. I can also say you should make it a point to get up and dressed and maybe just go on short trips with DD to see people. Don't stay holed up at home.

We're here for you. Many of us have gone through it and we understand!

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

It will totally pass!!!!!! I wondered what was wrong with me, why I didn't have that instantaneous bond everyone talks about and why I was so anxious and unsure of myself and every decision I had to make regarding the baby. I would say by 3 weeks after having her it got MUCH better and by 2 months I was amazed at how close I felt to her and how much more confidant I was as a mom. It will get better and if it doesn't talk to you dr. There is no shame in anything. The hormonal changes are insane! Enjoy her....it goes so fast. I still say I wish I could go back to the hospital and do it all over again. Don't worry-you're doing a great job!

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

So glad to see this post. I thought I was the only one. My twins will be 1 month tomorrow and I still cry at times. I was crying non stop but it has been getting better. My husband has been great and I feel so bad. I get over anxious and nervous and just want sleep. My doctor and friends with kids say it is completely normal. Hang in there, I think more people than we know go through this.

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

Thank you all for your responses. Tonight has been bad, but I did reach out and my mom and sister came over to help me out. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

First off congratulations!!! I went through the same thing, I remember crying my eyes out when DH went back to work a week after we came home. It's funny thinking back on that week, we were changing diapers together and everything. I remember worrying about how I was going to manage it all. You are going through so many emotions, completely normal, my hormones were all over the place, but I promise you it gets soooo much better. It took me a little while to get used to being on my own with my baby but before long you will feel so confident in everything you do as a mommy and you will be an old pro. Everyone on here is so great and offers so much advice when you ever have doubts about anything.

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

Like everyone else has said- it will get better. But for the time being, don't try to be "supermom." Reach out for help when you're overstressed/overtired. I remember loving Ds so much and being so happy to have him, but at the same time I couldn't wait to get away from him. I went back to work after 3 weeks (I had to, I own my own business and have no backup or maternity leave.) I dreaded having to go back to work so soon for my entire pregnancy, but when the time came, I couldn't have been happier to pass DS off to my mom/MIL and go to work for a few hours. It's normal to have all these crazy emotions right now. Give yourself a chance to adjust and get into a groove. If the feelings get worse or don't seem to be fading, then talk to your Dr. There is absolutley no shame in that.

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

We've alllll been there!!! I remember it like it was yesterday, I went about 6 weeks having episodes of anxiety like that, it wasn't toooo bad but I knew I felt "off"! My ob reassured me it's allllll normal and reminded me that I still had all those hormones RAGING around my system. As they stabilized I felt so much calmer!!! I'm glad you have your family nearby to help you, that is a huge blessing for those of us lucky enough to have them around!! Just take it a day at a time and don't even worry about DH's return to work yet! IF you have a rough night hop on here, I pull a lot of late nights when DS is sleeping!!!

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

My little one is 8 weeks tomorrow and I am feeling so much better. I've been back to myself for about 4-5 weeks. Like pregnancy, delivery, etc it just kinda melted away. Now, I love being home with him and am dreading going back to work.

I still cry a lot, but it's a good cry - b/c I am so in love. So, hang in there, what you're feeling is normal. Give yourself some time to heal and adjust - from and to everything!

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

These feelings are normal ~ I felt the same way and it does get a little easier! For me everyday I am scared of being a mommy but everyday I am more confident that I am becoming a good mommy! Hang in there it will get better sweetie! Plus all your hormones right now are out of wack everything will get better soon ~ try to rest as much as possible ~ when the baby is resting you rest ~ being sleep deprived does not help. I felt like I had to be supermom + make the house spotless but I did have a meltdown ~ rest helps A LOT

Message edited 3/13/2009 6:50:25 AM.

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

I went through the same thing and you think the feel is never gonna go away....but it does. Take any help that your family and friends are willing to give you bc dont forget you just had a baby and rest is a good thing for you now. It will pass and you will enjoy every moment that you have with your little girl!!

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

Posted by Juliet

Totally normal. I cried every day for the first six weeks. I also had a winter baby and I will say that is really tough. The cold and darkness outside can bring you down even more. I only felt good when other people were around me. When I was alone all day with DD I felt miserable.

I can say it will pass. I can also say you should make it a point to get up and dressed and maybe just go on short trips with DD to see people. Don't stay holed up at home.

We're here for you. Many of us have gone through it and we understand!

Re: new mommy anxiety, or baby blues -- please help

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by Juliet

Totally normal. I cried every day for the first six weeks. I also had a winter baby and I will say that is really tough. The cold and darkness outside can bring you down even more. I only felt good when other people were around me. When I was alone all day with DD I felt miserable.

I can say it will pass. I can also say you should make it a point to get up and dressed and maybe just go on short trips with DD to see people. Don't stay holed up at home.

We're here for you. Many of us have gone through it and we understand!

I could have written the first part of this post word for word! DD is 5 weeks old and it's been rough for me. Much more than I expected. I don't think I have cried as much as I have the past 5 weeks.