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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Please watch this, you can get the gist in 2 minutes:
Unless that is not the whole letter, I don't see where they called her "names", "attacked" her or "bullied" her.
Was it somewhat insensitive? Ok, I can agree. But it is one person's opinion on a public figure that they're entitled to have. I think there's a level of overreaction here that I can completely relate to, having been in that position myself, but I feel like it's getting blown out of proportion.
I really want to know what you all think, and also, as you get healthier and lose weight, if your opinions on such matters have changed.
Message edited 10/3/2012 10:18:30 AM.
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Posted 10/3/12 10:04 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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fight the future
Master of my domain.
Member since 3/10 2067 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
I had this exact conversation this morning.
I don't think that's bullying at all. Insensitive yes.
And I had to type/delete/retype this part several times because I know I'll get torn to shreds for this.
'But quite frankly... I see his point.'
Nicer ways to say it? Absolutely. Any of his business? No. But does that stop anyone from discussing ANY public figure?
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| Posted 10/3/12 10:37 AM |
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fight the future
Master of my domain.
Member since 3/10 2067 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Adding to answer your later question:
1. I used to be pretty heavy. But I don't think I thought differently about heavy people than I do now.
I like being healthier looking. I hate feeling fat. I don't find heavy people unattractive. In fact quite honestly... I prefer guys who are kind of big. I know some people just can't help it. On the flip side, some people are just lazy... and love to eat. (That was me.)
But I do think it's important that public figures demonstrate healthy lifestyles. She had an interview on the news this morning saying she has a thyroid problem and she's very active and has tried to lose weight.... that's AWESOME.
... I don't think this e-mail was bullying though. Nosy and while I understand what the guy is saying -- I'd never write an email like that. No point because you have no idea WHY (if theres a reason) that person is bigger.
But I can see his line of thinking. I just would've kept it to myself... or maybe said it outloud to my husband in the privacy of our home.
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| Posted 10/3/12 10:43 AM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
I just had this conversation with a coworker and she said "That surprises me, given how you told me you felt when you were heavier." I'm not completely unsympathetic to how this woman feels, I just don't think she was attacked or bullied. That "bully" word is getting thrown around a lot and I think it detracts from the seriousness of real bullying and the effects of it like that poor teenager who committed suicide because of daily attacks by other kids.
Americans have an obsession with appearances, but we also have a terrible obesity problem too that is only getting worse. I don't think this newscaster from wherever owes it to me to be thin and gorgeous, but it does make me wonder if the acceptance of overweight people in the public eye is an unconscious green light to some people.
I'll be honest, I attached to phrases like "real women" and "curvy" as a defense for my unhealthy ways. They say hindsight is 20/20 and I can admit now that I was making excuses for myself. I by no means think it's ok to strive to be so thin that your bones show, but the other extreme is just as unhealthy.
No matter who you are, calling attention to that seems to be taboo these days, even if it is solely based on fact.
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| Posted 10/3/12 12:28 PM |
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Pumpkin
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3353 total posts
Name:
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Good for her! She is right he does not know her.
As someone who has been overweight most of their life and has tried everything to control it I know how badly overweight people are judged. People think because you are overweight you are disgusting and lead a terrible lifestyle and that is why you look the way you do. NOT ALWAYS THE CASE!!!
I think this is bullying and harrassment and I commend her for calling this insensitive person out on this.
I don't care if I get flamed for this post.
Message edited 10/3/2012 1:07:44 PM.
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| Posted 10/3/12 1:06 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
The issue is that it is NOT okay to judge someone based on their appearance, ever. And on that level, the letter was rude, and cruel, and unnecessary. Different people have different views on what constitutes bullying. Would you be okay with someone telling your 10-year-old daughter that she "hasn't improved her appearance" in several years?
It is not this anchor woman's job to make sure she is at a healthy weight for fear of being a poor role model for viewers and her children. Her only job is to report the news and be a good parent, whether she's 120 lbs or 220 lbs. Who the hell is ANYONE to judge whether her appearance is fit for her place of employment?
She's right. None of us know her. How dare anyone judge her or anyone else on their outward appearance. The viewer who sent the email may be in great physical shape but to send a letter like that shows me that inside, they are ugly.
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| Posted 10/3/12 2:11 PM |
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LDrinkh20
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1820 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by headoverheels
The issue is that it is NOT okay to judge someone based on their appearance, ever. And on that level, the letter was rude, and cruel, and unnecessary. Different people have different views on what constitutes bullying. Would you be okay with someone telling your 10-year-old daughter that she "hasn't improved her appearance" in several years?
It is not this anchor woman's job to make sure she is at a healthy weight for fear of being a poor role model for viewers and her children. Her only job is to report the news and be a good parent, whether she's 120 lbs or 220 lbs. Who the hell is ANYONE to judge whether her appearance is fit for her place of employment?
She's right. None of us know her. How dare anyone judge her or anyone else on their outward appearance. The viewer who sent the email may be in great physical shape but to send a letter like that shows me that inside, they are ugly.
Thank you for saying this! I am really surprised and disappointed to be honest by those who feel that this is not bullying or those who think "they can see his point."
As a teacher, we define bullying as any instance in which another person (or group) uses their "power" (in this case his/her email, words, and opinion) to make someone else feel less equal. I agree that you all might feel very different if someone said this to you or your child. Saying that the word bullying is being thrown around is really sad in my mind too. How about it's being used more to heighten awareness of the general lack of respect we as Americans seem to have for each other?
I think her rebuttal was EXTREMELY well thought out, respectful and dead on. In my mind, she was fulfilling her community responsibility to discuss an issue that is extremely important these days. More power to her.
Message edited 10/3/2012 2:18:25 PM.
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| Posted 10/3/12 2:17 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
My opinion on bullying is that one critical letter from one person isn't serious enough to constitute it. I'm glad you posted how teachers define it, because I'm not a teacher and don't have kids and don't know how others determine if it's happening or not.
Like I mentioned, the boy who was bullied so badly that he felt he had no way out and ended his life is much more serious to me than one letter from one viewer. If every criticism from every person can be considered bullying, then we are all guilty of it. While awareness is the first step to correcting a problem, if it becomes an overused term, I feel like that would hurt that effort.
I agree that he's insensitive. I agree, of course, that outward appearance does not make up the whole of a person. But I asked a question that I think is important to ask - do people that stand to be idolized and looked up to by children have a responsibility to exhibit a good image? If they don't, in any way you feel important as a parent, do you think children are more apt to copy their behaviors?
No flames here, I know this can be a topic tied to a lot of emotion. I was hoping to have a discussion, not an argument, even if (especially if) you don't agree with my opinion.
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| Posted 10/3/12 4:09 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Um, wow. Here's a followup from the guy who wrote the letter (lifted from FHF):
“Given this country’s present epidemic of obesity and the many truly horrible diseases related thereto, and considering Jennifer Livingston’s fortuitous position in the community, I hope she will finally take advantage of a rare and golden opportunity to influence the health and psychological well-being of Coulee Region children by transforming herself for all of her viewers to see over the next year, and, to that end, I would be absolutely pleased to offer Jennifer any advice or support she would be willing to accept.”
I wasn't sure about the tone of the first letter, I was giving the benefit of the doubt that he somehow thought he was being helpful.
But this just comes off as smug and condescending to me. "finally" take advantage. Whoo boy this story is not leaving the news cycle for a while, I have a feeling. 
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| Posted 10/3/12 4:18 PM |
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LDrinkh20
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1820 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
"But I asked a question that I think is important to ask - do people that stand to be idolized and looked up to by children have a responsibility to exhibit a good image? "
I guess another question along these lines would be what constitutes an "idol"? I know for me, it was never a news anchorwoman and personally I think parents and adults that are IN children's lives are the ones that are most responsible for exhibiting a good image.
I am in no way flaming anyone, was merely speaking my opinion---no arguments here. I also think it is up to the person being "targeted" (for lack of better word) to determine if it is serious enough. Something that doesn't seem serious to me might seem extremely serious to you and vice versa.
And I think her point was to make a stand for those children or adults who feel victimized and as if there is no way out like you mentioned. Perhaps she was "overreacting" purposefully to bring awareness and comfort to those going through it? I don't know just a guess!
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| Posted 10/3/12 4:18 PM |
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LDrinkh20
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1820 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by greenfreak
Um, wow. Here's a followup from the guy who wrote the letter (lifted from FHF):
“Given this country’s present epidemic of obesity and the many truly horrible diseases related thereto, and considering Jennifer Livingston’s fortuitous position in the community, I hope she will finally take advantage of a rare and golden opportunity to influence the health and psychological well-being of Coulee Region children by transforming herself for all of her viewers to see over the next year, and, to that end, I would be absolutely pleased to offer Jennifer any advice or support she would be willing to accept.”
I wasn't sure about the tone of the first letter, I was giving the benefit of the doubt that he somehow thought he was being helpful.
But this just comes off as smug and condescending to me. "finally" take advantage. Whoo boy this story is not leaving the news cycle for a while, I have a feeling.
WOW...I just saw this post...unbelievable.
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| Posted 10/3/12 4:20 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
Name:
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by headoverheels
The issue is that it is NOT okay to judge someone based on their appearance, ever. And on that level, the letter was rude, and cruel, and unnecessary. Different people have different views on what constitutes bullying. Would you be okay with someone telling your 10-year-old daughter that she "hasn't improved her appearance" in several years?
It is not this anchor woman's job to make sure she is at a healthy weight for fear of being a poor role model for viewers and her children. Her only job is to report the news and be a good parent, whether she's 120 lbs or 220 lbs. Who the hell is ANYONE to judge whether her appearance is fit for her place of employment?
She's right. None of us know her. How dare anyone judge her or anyone else on their outward appearance. The viewer who sent the email may be in great physical shape but to send a letter like that shows me that inside, they are ugly.
I think this is so well said, and I agree with every word.
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| Posted 10/3/12 7:05 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
I was always skinny until after I had kids. I was about 105, ballooned up to 195, and am now sitting nicely at 115.
I will say this, it was always my choice to remain overweight. Always. I assume full responsibility for being obese, just as I have full responsibility for getting my ass in gear and losing it all. And I believe that anyone without a major health problem can make the choice to lose weight.
I do think people just dont have the motivation or drive to work as hard as many of us here did to get healthier. And that is their choice, but don't act flabbergasted when someone points out that you are overweight and unhealthy. You choose to remain obese, you choose to keep eating the way you do, and you choose to not make the necessary changes in your life. It may be insensitive, but its true.
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| Posted 10/3/12 7:10 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
Name:
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I was always skinny until after I had kids. I was about 105, ballooned up to 195, and am now sitting nicely at 115.
I will say this, it was always my choice to remain overweight. Always. I assume full responsibility for being obese, just as I have full responsibility for getting my ass in gear and losing it all. And I believe that anyone without a major health problem can make the choice to lose weight.
I do think people just dont have the motivation or drive to work as hard as many of us here did to get healthier. And that is their choice, but don't act flabbergasted when someone points out that you are overweight and unhealthy. You choose to remain obese, you choose to keep eating the way you do, and you choose to not make the necessary changes in your life. It may be insensitive, but its true.
I get very confused about this side of the argument. Doesn't everyone have faults? Is it okay to walk around pointing out every person's faults? Too heavy, too thin, too honest, hides the truth a bit, whiny, complainer, overly positive, overly negative, etc. etc. etc.
I just cannot wrap my head around your point. Shouldn't people be kind to each other? Is every damn fault that a person has-and we all have them-a chance for mocking and criticism?
A physically healthy body does not necessarily mean a perfect human being.
Message edited 10/3/2012 7:39:09 PM.
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| Posted 10/3/12 7:31 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by JAAMS
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I was always skinny until after I had kids. I was about 105, ballooned up to 195, and am now sitting nicely at 115.
I will say this, it was always my choice to remain overweight. Always. I assume full responsibility for being obese, just as I have full responsibility for getting my ass in gear and losing it all. And I believe that anyone without a major health problem can make the choice to lose weight.
I do think people just dont have the motivation or drive to work as hard as many of us here did to get healthier. And that is their choice, but don't act flabbergasted when someone points out that you are overweight and unhealthy. You choose to remain obese, you choose to keep eating the way you do, and you choose to not make the necessary changes in your life. It may be insensitive, but its true.
I get very confused about this side of the argument. Doesn't everyone have faults? Is it okay to walk around pointing out every person's faults? Too heavy, too thin, too honest, hides the truth a bit, whiny, complainer, overly positive, overly negative, etc. etc. etc.
I just cannot wrap my head around your point. Shouldn't people be kind to each other? Is every damn fault that a person has-and we all have them-a chance for mocking and criticism?
A physically healthy body does not necessarily mean a perfect human being.
I don't think it's mocking to point out you are risking your health by doing something. Just like telling smokers they are killing themselves, but telling someone their obesity will kill them eventually is taboo. I certainly have flaws, but fortunately for me none of them are a health risk
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| Posted 10/3/12 7:43 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
Name:
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Posted by JAAMS
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I was always skinny until after I had kids. I was about 105, ballooned up to 195, and am now sitting nicely at 115.
I will say this, it was always my choice to remain overweight. Always. I assume full responsibility for being obese, just as I have full responsibility for getting my ass in gear and losing it all. And I believe that anyone without a major health problem can make the choice to lose weight.
I do think people just dont have the motivation or drive to work as hard as many of us here did to get healthier. And that is their choice, but don't act flabbergasted when someone points out that you are overweight and unhealthy. You choose to remain obese, you choose to keep eating the way you do, and you choose to not make the necessary changes in your life. It may be insensitive, but its true.
I get very confused about this side of the argument. Doesn't everyone have faults? Is it okay to walk around pointing out every person's faults? Too heavy, too thin, too honest, hides the truth a bit, whiny, complainer, overly positive, overly negative, etc. etc. etc.
I just cannot wrap my head around your point. Shouldn't people be kind to each other? Is every damn fault that a person has-and we all have them-a chance for mocking and criticism?
A physically healthy body does not necessarily mean a perfect human being.
I don't think it's mocking to point out you are risking your health by doing something. Just like telling smokers they are killing themselves, but telling someone their obesity will kill them eventually is taboo. I certainly have flaws, but fortunately for me none of them are a health risk
I think we'll have to agree to disagree. I don't go up to smokers and tell them they are killing themselves. We all know the potential consequences of our actions, and people take risks and do risky things all the time.
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| Posted 10/3/12 7:48 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I don't think it's mocking to point out you are risking your health by doing something. Just like telling smokers they are killing themselves, but telling someone their obesity will kill them eventually is taboo. I certainly have flaws, but fortunately for me none of them are a health risk
wait, do you walk up to smokers and obese people and tell them they are killing themselves?
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| Posted 10/3/12 8:42 PM |
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emilylives
biking
Member since 12/09 2163 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
If she were anorexic, no one would be complaining about a letter like that, because she would obviously be setting a bad example. I just don't see how this is any different. I would not send a note like that, but I certainly don't think it's bullying.
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:03 PM |
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by cateyemm
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I don't think it's mocking to point out you are risking your health by doing something. Just like telling smokers they are killing themselves, but telling someone their obesity will kill them eventually is taboo. I certainly have flaws, but fortunately for me none of them are a health risk
wait, do you walk up to smokers and obese people and tell them they are killing themselves?
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:03 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by cateyemm
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I don't think it's mocking to point out you are risking your health by doing something. Just like telling smokers they are killing themselves, but telling someone their obesity will kill them eventually is taboo. I certainly have flaws, but fortunately for me none of them are a health risk
wait, do you walk up to smokers and obese people and tell them they are killing themselves?
All the time! Dont be facetious...I am stating that when you know that you are unhealthy dont get your panties in a knot if someone points it out. If I was a chain smoker and someone told me someday it'd kill me I wouldnt walk around offended. Facts are facts.
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:24 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Posted by cateyemm
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I don't think it's mocking to point out you are risking your health by doing something. Just like telling smokers they are killing themselves, but telling someone their obesity will kill them eventually is taboo. I certainly have flaws, but fortunately for me none of them are a health risk
wait, do you walk up to smokers and obese people and tell them they are killing themselves?
All the time! Dont be facetious...I am stating that when you know that you are unhealthy dont get your panties in a knot if someone points it out. If I was a chain smoker and someone told me someday it'd kill me I wouldnt walk around offended. Facts are facts.
I wasnt being facetious. Just incredulous.
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| Posted 10/3/12 9:55 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Posted by cateyemm
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I don't think it's mocking to point out you are risking your health by doing something. Just like telling smokers they are killing themselves, but telling someone their obesity will kill them eventually is taboo. I certainly have flaws, but fortunately for me none of them are a health risk
wait, do you walk up to smokers and obese people and tell them they are killing themselves?
All the time! Dont be facetious...I am stating that when you know that you are unhealthy dont get your panties in a knot if someone points it out. If I was a chain smoker and someone told me someday it'd kill me I wouldnt walk around offended. Facts are facts.
So, okay. Two things.
One: Really? If you were a smoker and a COMPLETE AND TOTAL STRANGER told you you were going to die from smoking and were a terrible role model for your children....you wouldn't be offended?
And two: the main point here is that just because she APPEARS to be something (overweight), this, once again, complete stranger has NO idea what she is doing and how healthy or unhealthy she is. Losing weight the healthy way takes time. She has acknowledged a legitimate health problem, thyroid, and for all we and this guy know she cooks only weight watchers recipes and exercises 30 minutes a day. The point is, WE DON'T KNOW, and therefore why do we have any right to comment?
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| Posted 10/3/12 10:00 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by MandJZ
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Posted by cateyemm
Posted by Kidsaplenty
I don't think it's mocking to point out you are risking your health by doing something. Just like telling smokers they are killing themselves, but telling someone their obesity will kill them eventually is taboo. I certainly have flaws, but fortunately for me none of them are a health risk
wait, do you walk up to smokers and obese people and tell them they are killing themselves?
All the time! Dont be facetious...I am stating that when you know that you are unhealthy dont get your panties in a knot if someone points it out. If I was a chain smoker and someone told me someday it'd kill me I wouldnt walk around offended. Facts are facts.
So, okay. Two things.
One: Really? If you were a smoker and a COMPLETE AND TOTAL STRANGER told you you were going to die from smoking and were a terrible role model for your children....you wouldn't be offended?
And two: the main point here is that just because she APPEARS to be something (overweight), this, once again, complete stranger has NO idea what she is doing and how healthy or unhealthy she is. Losing weight the healthy way takes time. She has acknowledged a legitimate health problem, thyroid, and for all we and this guy know she cooks only weight watchers recipes and exercises 30 minutes a day. The point is, WE DON'T KNOW, and therefore why do we have any right to comment?
If she was 70 lbs and grossly UNDERweight everyone would be commenting left and right about how unhealthy and how could she do that to herself. No one would be criticized for commenting. But if she's overweight don't say a word?
All I'm saying is people choose to be overweight barring any health issues that prevent weight loss (which gee, and thyroid issue would fall under). I know I chose to, and then one day I chose not to and did something about it.
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| Posted 10/3/12 10:07 PM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Posted by Kidsaplenty
All I'm saying is people choose to be overweight barring any health issues that prevent weight loss (which gee, and thyroid issue would fall under). I know I chose to, and then one day I chose not to and did something about it.
...Right. And all I'm saying is we, and this letter writer, don't know which one it is. Nobody who does not know her personally knows if this is a choice or something else. Therefore, he should have kept his mouth (or email, whatever) shut. Having a stranger tell you what you're doing wrong doesn't help promote change. It makes you feel badly about yourself. And what is the purpose of shaming anyone? Why bother? What does this guy have to gain?
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| Posted 10/3/12 10:13 PM |
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laurabora
LIF Adult
Member since 4/07 2712 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: News anchor gets a letter criticizing her weight - need your opinion
Honestly this whole thing just makes me wonder where people get off thinking it's okay to directly criticize someone for their appearance or the shape of their body. She is a human being. Why is her weight even a topic of conversation if she is doing her job well?
We all come in different shapes and sizes. I don't think any young girl is going to look at her and say, "Wow, she's on television and she's fat, I'm going to make sure I get fat too!" NOBODY wants to be overweight, trust me. It is a constant struggle for some people (myself included) to control their relationship with food.
I'd file this under the category of "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."
ETA: To me, it doesn't matter why she's overweight. She could have a thyroid problem or just like to eat cookies. Her body is her business and the reasons for her weight are totally irrelevant.
Message edited 10/3/2012 10:43:18 PM.
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| Posted 10/3/12 10:38 PM |
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