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debsey75
My two best friends!
Member since 11/06 5879 total posts
Name:
Debbie
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Message edited 8/9/2011 2:18:44 PM.
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Posted 3/9/08 11:33 AM  |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
I feel your pain and was going to post about this too. I ahve a different situation though. I get along ok with my MIL, we are not BFF but we get along well enough.
However, she makes me nuts about visiting. Like today, my BIL (dh's brother) is coming over to help DH do stuff around the house. So she calls and we are chatting about what we are doing today. Then she "remebers" that her son is coming over. She asks me What I'm doing with the baby, so I say I'll bring her to my mom's. I get "oh, well I thought we could stop by."
Well are you asking me or telling me. KWIM? She thinks that if we have company, it's ok for her to come over too.
And DH has already told them to call to ask us first. And they did that once and I think it's out the window now. So frustrating.
Sorry, I have no advice for you. But I'm trying to do better for my DD's sake.
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| Posted 3/9/08 11:41 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
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Message edited 11/27/2010 9:58:12 PM.
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| Posted 3/9/08 11:43 AM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
The only think I dislike lately is the fact that my MIL shows up at our house unannounced. I could have company, which I normally do, and she just comes over like it's okay.
This will be taken care of soon enough though.
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| Posted 3/9/08 11:51 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
I have learned to let a lot of stuff roll off my back. I don't really pay attention to what is being said any more, and anything I do catch I pretty much figure is a lie anyway.
All the anger was doing serious damage to my marriage, so I decided that since I want to be with DH and he wants his parents in his and the kids life I have to learn to deal with it.
Not that I don't get angry, I do. But I try to breathe and remember that in more than one situation she's been proven to have lied to/about me. I want to be the bigger person to make a good example for my kids. My MIL hated her MIL and used to say mean things about her to DH and his brother. I won't do that.
Oh, and I won't allow them to be around my kids without DH or I there. We've had to have several discussions about topics I don't agree with and won't have discussed in front of my kids.
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| Posted 3/9/08 12:41 PM |
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Gatsbygirl
Please St. Therese....
Member since 10/07 8494 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
DH usually takes DS over there once a week or so. I don't love it, but at least I don't have to deal with her.
My MIL is pizzed she's not more involved, but she's not someone I feel comfortable watching my son. She seems to think I should bring DS over myself, but she's not someone I hung out with before, not going to start now.
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| Posted 3/9/08 1:02 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
HOw does your husband feel about your dislike for them?
Unfortunately, at the end of the day they are his parents and your childs grandparents. You need to let more stuff roll off your back and if your husband wants his parents to be a part of his childs life, well you gotta suck it up! Thats life!
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| Posted 3/9/08 1:05 PM |
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Gatsbygirl
Please St. Therese....
Member since 10/07 8494 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
Mu husband isn't close close with them. I think he sees them more as an obligation than anything else.
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| Posted 3/9/08 1:07 PM |
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KSJ1210
LIF Infant
Member since 7/05 259 total posts
Name:
shannon
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
I live with my inlaws!!  but I have to say they really are great.. but sometimes 
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| Posted 3/9/08 1:49 PM |
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debsey75
My two best friends!
Member since 11/06 5879 total posts
Name:
Debbie
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
Posted by racheeeee
HOw does your husband feel about your dislike for them?
Unfortunately, at the end of the day they are his parents and your childs grandparents. You need to let more stuff roll off your back and if your husband wants his parents to be a part of his childs life, well you gotta suck it up! Thats life!
I have said it time and time again how I feel about them. He is in complete denial. But I guess I would be the same about my parents. The major thing is that the MIL is 76 yrs old and FIL is 80. IMO they are no way near able to care for my DS. I honestly think my DH is jealous b/c my mom is much younger and is very helpful. It is just a topic that turns into an argument. I know I need to let things roll off, this is what I dont know how to do and I was asking for advice.
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| Posted 3/9/08 2:00 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
Posted by Stefanie
The only think I dislike lately is the fact that my MIL shows up at our house unannounced. I could have company, which I normally do, and she just comes over like it's okay.
This will be taken care of soon enough though.
My MIL is the same way. Drives me nuts. How are you dealing with it?
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| Posted 3/9/08 2:10 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
Posted by debsey75
Posted by racheeeee
HOw does your husband feel about your dislike for them?
Unfortunately, at the end of the day they are his parents and your childs grandparents. You need to let more stuff roll off your back and if your husband wants his parents to be a part of his childs life, well you gotta suck it up! Thats life!
I have said it time and time again how I feel about them. He is in complete denial. But I guess I would be the same about my parents. The major thing is that the MIL is 76 yrs old and FIL is 80. IMO they are no way near able to care for my DS. I honestly think my DH is jealous b/c my mom is much younger and is very helpful. It is just a topic that turns into an argument. I know I need to let things roll off, this is what I dont know how to do and I was asking for advice.
For a long time in my life I took everything to heart and could not let things roll off my shoulders. Someone once told me that i can't take everything personally. It is really hard for me not to. I started to try to let the small stuff go and am trying to work up to the larger stuff. It takes time and a lot of effort.
Start with something small that they do or say that bothers you and try to refocus it. What is the motivation behind what they are doing or saying? Are the nice people that just rub you the wrong way or are they spiteful and mean. If they are just clueless or say stupid things it is a lot easier to forgive/let things roll than if they are actually mean people. If they are truly mean, then none of the above will help, in my experience only distancing yourself from them will. Good luck
ETA: I agree with Rachee....
Message edited 3/9/2008 3:50:07 PM.
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| Posted 3/9/08 3:49 PM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
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| Posted 3/9/08 3:50 PM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
OMG I could have written this myself! Talking about my MIL is always a sore subject. I hate seeing her play and hold Jacob...she acts like she knows him so well and yet she hardly ever sees him. DH and I argue everytime we have to see his family. Its usually only one time a month but I cannot stand them 
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| Posted 3/9/08 4:50 PM |
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sunflowerdmsrn
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/08 838 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
I feel your pain. My inlaws are from canada so when they visit they stay with us. They are here for the next 4 weeks and I am going out of my mind. I can't stand my MIL. DH and I are always arguing when they are here because my whole house turns upside down. She doesn't even let me cook in my own kitchen. And I have to eat whatever she cooks or she gets offended. She is all over DS. No breathing room.
I can't wait until they leave.
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| Posted 3/9/08 6:05 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
Posted by racheeeee
HOw does your husband feel about your dislike for them?
Unfortunately, at the end of the day they are his parents and your childs grandparents. You need to let more stuff roll off your back and if your husband wants his parents to be a part of his childs life, well you gotta suck it up! Thats life!
I agree
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| Posted 3/9/08 6:30 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
Posted by saraH
Posted by Stefanie
The only think I dislike lately is the fact that my MIL shows up at our house unannounced. I could have company, which I normally do, and she just comes over like it's okay.
This will be taken care of soon enough though.
My MIL is the same way. Drives me nuts. How are you dealing with it?
I'm letting my dh deal with it. If he doesn't then I will say something. I said something in the past to her and I would do it again if I had to.
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| Posted 3/9/08 6:31 PM |
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jaclyn78
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/06 635 total posts
Name:
Jaclyn
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
I personally feel that there are times when you can't just suck it in and let it roll off your back. For example, my MIL will do or say things about us as a family, which I take personally as well as sticking up for my DD, who can't defend herself. I think there are times you need to stick up for yourself, your child, and hopefully your DH will be on board. Good luck, there are many of us who are in the same position. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just get along?
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| Posted 3/9/08 6:49 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Question for those of you that "dislike" your IL's
I dont dislike my inlaws and I just cant stand when they tell me what to do when raising my boys, or telling me Im wrong and NOT to do it. I have laerned to nicely say, it is none of your business.
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| Posted 3/10/08 7:32 AM |
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