Not sure what to do anymore? pediatric neurologist question too

I just don't know what to do with my almost 3 year old now. He sees an OT and Speech Therapist once a week. Next month the local pre-school will evaluate him for their Preschool Special Ed program.
As he's talking more the frustration, whining and head hitting gets worse.
When he gets into a mood he just yells "UP! UP!"
Even when we pick him up and he'll bang his head.
He's so bad when he wakes up too. Mornings, middle of the night or from naps. We were in Aruba last week and figured the distraction of sleeping outside on the beach would help, but he still woke up whining. It takes him so long to get out of it. He can't even tell me what's wrong.
I can have somewhat of a conversation with him and he seems to understand some questions, but stuff he doesn't get he just repeats back. He follows other kids and when they talk to him he just repeats what they say.
Last night was bad. We went to leave my parent's house and he didn't want to leave so he threw a fit.
Yes, I still let my almost 3 year old have a pacifier b/c it's the only thing that calms him down. He starts sucking on his fingers when he was getting frustrated.
He also doesn't eat well. He's on the white diet. Same foods everyday and usually it takes bribes. He gets constipated b/c it's too much carbs.
I was thinking of setting an appt with a pediatric neurologist.
What do they do?
Right now he's not really catagorized as anything. He just has expressive and receptive delays along with sensory issues.
Sorry so long. Just get so frustrated sometimes and I feel even worse b/c I know he's so frustrated. He's such a smart boy, but lately the tantrums are getting worse
I know some of it is normal toddler behavior, but there's something else too.
Thanks

Re: Not sure what to do anymore? pediatric neurologist question too

Erica I'm so sorry. It's so hard to see them so frustrated. I would first make sure that when he's evaluated by the Child Study Team from your district, ask them (and I literally just went through this process, and I'm in jersey too) to give him an evaluation including psych and the learning consultant. They will give him speech and OT because he's already receiving both but make sure he gets everything. Trust me they will not do everything unless you ask for it.

You might also want to have him seen by a developmental pediatrician to rule out, or not, a diagnosis. If there is a diagnosis to be had, then that will be the ONLY way to get ALL the services he needs in school. There are a number of amazing ones in NJ but most have ridiculous long waiting lists. We went to St. Joe's and saw Dr. Mallick, she practices with Dr. Holohan. Took us 6-8 months to get an appt which unfortunately is the norm. I would FM Tara (tarahutch) on here, she saw someone rather quickly, not sure who. Call a bunch, make appts and then just keep whichever one you get that's the quickest. Any major hospital in your area will have developmental peds on stafff. We called Hackensack, Valley and St. Joes, and also in the city at Cornell and Columbia. St. joes gave us the "fastest" appt.

Did your speech therapist ever say anything about the echolalia which is the repeating he's doing? Maybe show you how to model appropriate conversation for him? That's going to be Such an important piece of the puzzle for him.

Re: Not sure what to do anymore? pediatric neurologist question too

I'm not sure what's normal or not anymore to be honest! But we saw a pediatric neurologist who I really liked. Can't remember in NJ where you are, but she worked out of St. Barnanas in Livingston - her name is Dr. Morse. I would recommend her.

Re: Not sure what to do anymore? pediatric neurologist question too

thanks so much for responding
I spoke with both his OT and Speech therapists about his repeating and they definitly see it b/c when working with him he does it a lot with them. He's always waiting to be que'd too for his next set of directions. She says she wants to see him engage first or be more spontanious when having a conversation.
He still has never asked a question besides "where something is," but that's only b/c he's heard me say it b4.
I'll look into the pediatric developmentalist.
never even heard of that. Wonder how it is here in Monmouth.
I'll talk to his speech teacher and contact Tara
thanks again for your insight. I'd just love to know how to work with him better and get through his head banging.

Re: Not sure what to do anymore? pediatric neurologist question too

Re: Not sure what to do anymore? pediatric neurologist question too

To be honest, I don't really remember what she did, but she asked me a bunch of questions as well as DD. She examined her too. We did go to a developmental ped, and it could have been my experience with that one who I did not like, but I felt like the ped neuro was more medical, where the developmental guy was more like a regular ped. I dont know if that helps though!

Re: Not sure what to do anymore? pediatric neurologist question too

I've been to both. Dr. Morse is our ped neuro who diagnosed DS with PDD-NOS at age 2. Went to dev ped a few months ago fr the first time.

In my opinion the dev ped spent WAY more time testing and getting to know my son. The neuro spent 20 minutes with us and dropped PDD on me like a house and told me to come back in 6-8 months to see how he is doing.

I believe Dr. Morse gave me the diagnosis because he was too young to say anything definitively. It helped us out tremendously in getting services. At 4.5 my son has come SO far. Some of your concerns sound familiar.

The dev ped we saw was dr. Lanzkowski out of morristown/overlook. She was wonderful with us!!

Re: Not sure what to do anymore? pediatric neurologist question too