odd question about being a mom

Crashing from the infertility board. I am freaking myself out. If I am ever lucky enough to have a baby I am seriously doubting myself. Here's the problem. I thinbk I am suuuper selfish! Honestly I hate kiddie things like childrens bday parties and amusement parks and poopy smelly things lol. I love one on one with kids but more often than not when I am around other peoples kids I get nervous and antsy and don't know what to do with myself. Dora the explorer gives me migraines geesh! Yet I have this desire to raise my own child with my wonderful husband but the older I get I wonder if I am am a too mucg of a grumpy old woman now. Tell me if u felt this way before you had your child or if sometimes u still feel this way. Ty v much!

Re: odd question about being a mom

you and me, same people trust me

I once was quoted as saying "they should take all the babies put them in like some island with some people who like that stuff and raise them and deliver them to us to be meaningful workforce"

My DH really wanted a family, I was like ehh... I actually thought adopting an older child would be better. He convinced me to openly think about it, we were thinking and boom! I got preggo.

I hated being preggo, absolutely despised every second, until the little bean kicked me... and then I fell in love.

I'm still like eh about babies. I like to see DS interact with them and all that. I can't even imagine having another.

I also don't see DS in the same light as I see other babies. He is other-wordly to me. I don't know if that's the momma love or what, but I am terribly biased and terribly protective and I have to hold myself back from saying things "he's better than any other baby"

I also never ever dreamed of being a SAHM. I told DH that its the only way to raise a child, imo, but I didn't believe I would be doing it Now, I relish in being a SAHM and baking muffins as we speak.

And, I never believed it when they said, "wait till you have one of your own" ... wow! I believe it now.

Be as selfish as you want, you are going to transfer that to being selfish for your baby. I really did.

I think your fears are totally normal, I felt exactly this way. Everything changed when he came into our lives in such a good way.

You'll learn to balance your relationship and your love for your baby, and it will all come together beautifully.

Re: odd question about being a mom

many people feel this way. i am not very in tune with lother peoples kids, i just dont care for them but then i had my DS and im in love with him. and i have to say, the first few weeks i loved him but was stull getting used to teh chnge i guess. this past week...this overwhelming love has taken over.

have no fear, im sure when you have a LO of your own, you will change your tune

Re: odd question about being a mom

Some people change their tune, some don't. I see some of our friends on FB passing their kids off to every possible relative every weekend because they want to continue the lifestyle of going out every night partying.

I guess you don't know which you'll be til you have one.

P.S. Dora isn't any less annoying once you have your own kids.

Re: odd question about being a mom

Well I can't speak from experience but I can tell you that I have had friends who have said the same thing - but after having a kid they say that when it is your own they felt very different from when it was just a random child and that they enjoyed things with their child that they would never have considered pre children. Good luck with whatever you do decide.

Etd to add I always loved kids and really wanted them - but even with my own I still hate diaper changes with a passion and some toys are still loud and annoying. But you get all the great stuff that comes with them that the small stuff is just that - small.

Message edited 8/7/2011 6:33:56 PM.

Re: odd question about being a mom

For me, everything changed once I had my own kid. I was very much like you before.

Re: odd question about being a mom

you will do things your own way.

i'm not into cutesie things either. I like pirates, skulls, dia de los muertos and zombie artwork. I look forward to taking my son to car shows and art museums and teaching him about great music (I HATE cheesey kiddie music)

i put on baby einstein the other day and found myself feeling soooooo confused!!! like how the heck is this helping his development...it looked more like a weird hypnotism video if you ask me...BUT one thing i will say is while you may HATE certain things...once you have that baby...sleep deprivation will drive you to buy things, watch things, listen to things that you never thought you would because it keeps your childs interest or gets them to stop crying.

when the dishes and laundry start to pile up and mommy is walking around with her hair looking all crazy and not feeling fresh bc she can't take longer than a 5 minute shower...you might put on dora if it keeps your childs attention...and before you know it...you'll be ever so thankful for dora! lol

Re: odd question about being a mom

Oh yes! And I STILL feel that way! And I have THREE kids!

I'm not of the mindset that everything changes once you have kids. I was NEVER a kid person and I'm not now. Yes, I am a teacher by trade...a high school teacher. LOVE those kids. Babies and preschoolers...yeah, not so much. Yet, I always knew I wanted kids, even a big family at that; I have three and would have four or five if my life (well, mostly my age and my DH ) were different.

When I was pregnant with #1 I used to say, "I DO NOT want my house looking like Toys R Us--hate all that colorful &*%# all over!" And guess what? It doesn't....for the most part. To this day I still feel pretty awkward around little kids, but not my own. When someone has a baby and they're all "Hold the baby!" I'm like, "No, I'm good, but thanks."

You'll be surprised. I have had several friends and family members tell me they had their doubts, but that I'm a wonderful mother. That is the ultimate best compliment I could receive...seriously.

My DH and I fit our kids right into our lifestyle...we go out to eat several times a week, we travel to places we like to visit, we teach them things we're interested in and we love them with all of our hearts!

Good luck and I hope the rest of your journey proves to be a short one...see you here soon! You'll be great!

Re: odd question about being a mom

You sound like a normal person without children to me!! I HAVE kids and I hate children's parties, poopy smelling things and Dora! But the things I don't like are far outweighed by all the good things, trust me!
Everyone loves their own kids, but sometimes it's definitely hard to like other people's kids

You're totally normal, I promise!