| Posted By |
Message |
Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
|
Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
So, as I've posted, I requested to work a day a week from home and my boss has been ignoring me ever since. So, I have a couple of wks vacation time left, so I submitted a written request (that's how we do it) to use my time spread out over the course of the next few months (shorten my weeks thru the new year). He has ignored that too. Now I'm thinking   ***** is going on here?
I tell my co-worker what's going on b/c she is the only other mom here and she had her first a few years ago and has not been back SINCE on a steady basis - basically she totally took advantage of a work from home situation (it was supposed to be here and there and come in a couple of times a wk but she just never came back and now comes into the office when she feels like getting away from her kids - she admits this). So, anyway, I talked to her about it b/c I thought she could offer some feedback since she was able to work this out with him and she is SUPPOSED to be my friend. She seemed sympathetic.
The other day I vented to her that he is ignoring me. She said, "I don't understand why he wouldn't allow it...." This morning she comes in (hasn't been physically here for almost a month) and when I go to say hello to her the first thing she does it say, "he knew I was coming in today and questioned me why I would bother to come into the office ..." She went ON and ON basically rubbing it in that she could have stayed home. She was mid-sentence and I just walked out of her office - I couldn't listen to it anymore.
What is wrong with some people? Why do some women feel the need to kick another woman while she's down? She KNOWS I'm having a hard time with this situation. She KNOWS I'm upset that I see my son for 1.5 hrs a day TOPS. She knows how long my day is with pumping/commuting/getting my son out in the morning - not being able to park at the train station so having to go home to park and then walk (I mean RUN) to the train everyday. Honestly, why? Why would another mother be so cruel?
Vent over.
Message edited 10/10/2008 10:39:12 AM.
|
Posted 10/10/08 10:38 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
some people are just unbelievable!!! I'm sorry you're still dealing with this BS.
Part of me wants to tell you to just begin with working from home 1 day a week. If she can get away with what she's doing, maybe they won't have the backbone to even say anything to you. And you did put in for the days...it's not like you're trying to get over on anyone. Then again....it may not go in your favor, I'm no help, sorry
|
| Posted 10/10/08 10:45 AM |
| |
|
Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
Posted by Little-J-Mommy
some people are just unbelievable!!! I'm sorry you're still dealing with this BS.
Part of me wants to tell you to just begin with working from home 1 day a week. If she can get away with what she's doing, maybe they won't have the backbone to even say anything to you. And you did put in for the days...it's not like you're trying to get over on anyone. Then again....it may not go in your favor, I'm no help, sorry
Thanks- that'd be funny if I just started not coming in and pretended like it was approved LOL
|
| Posted 10/10/08 11:11 AM |
| |
|
DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
I was in a similar situation . . . I asked to work from home when another woman was doing it . Instead of being ignored, I was flat out denied. I discussed filing a grievance with the union over the disparate treatment. Because I pushed the issue, management told the other woman she wasn't allowed to work from home anymore and she quit.
I still can't work from home, but I have the satisfaction of knowing that I forced a uniform policy.
|
| Posted 10/10/08 11:13 AM |
| |
|
Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
Posted by DancinBarefoot
I was in a similar situation . . . I asked to work from home when another woman was doing it . Instead of being ignored, I was flat out denied. I discussed filing a grievance with the union over the disparate treatment. Because I pushed the issue, management told the other woman she wasn't allowed to work from home anymore and she quit.
I still can't work from home, but I have the satisfaction of knowing that I forced a uniform policy.
We're such a small company that I don't think I could take any such course of action. We work directly for the CEO of a company and when it comes requests like these, he makes the decision. It just gets me upset b/c when she had her first I took on a lot of responsibility so she could be home for a while (her DC was a preemie so it was a bad situation for a while), but she's now 3 and fine. I took special effort not to take advantage of anything around here - I made all of my MD appts at night (when I could have gone during the day) and I worked late every night before I left (like to 10-11PM) to make sure everything was in order for my leave. I was here until 11PM on 3/19 and gave birth at 10:24AM the following morning - I thought I proved my dedication. Plus, I stuck to what I said I would do as far as my return even though my boss called me in June and said I could take my time coming back - I was still here July 1, as planned. 
|
| Posted 10/10/08 11:22 AM |
| |
|
JChia
Mom of 2 Princesses
Member since 9/07 2540 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
I am so feeling your pain... Things at small companies are never fair - I'm in the middle of a similar situation - but yours sux more...
Have you brought up the fact that maybe its time for this other chick to work in the office more so you can do the work at home thing? Or in your discussions with your boss, mentioned that its completely unfair that she gets to , while you can't and how its a morale killing situation.
I think you have to force him to make a decision and not let him ignore it any more.
|
| Posted 10/10/08 11:38 AM |
| |
|
Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
Posted by JChia
I am so feeling your pain... Things at small companies are never fair - I'm in the middle of a similar situation - but yours sux more...
Have you brought up the fact that maybe its time for this other chick to work in the office more so you can do the work at home thing? Or in your discussions with your boss, mentioned that its completely unfair that she gets to , while you can't and how its a morale killing situation.
I think you have to force him to make a decision and not let him ignore it any more.
I try not to play like that but can't help but feel like it. I don't want to sound adolescent like, "she gets this so why can't I?" especially not too close to bonus time 
I feel like you haven't been on much lately - where have you been? Did you seen Ryan's Lori pics? How's Megan? Ryan sends her a
|
| Posted 10/10/08 11:50 AM |
| |
|
SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
I definitely think you need to say something. I understand what you're saying about not playing it like, "she gets to do this, why can't I?" But she opened herself up to that by being nasty about it & rubbing your nose in the situation. You can do it the right way so that you don't sound like a brat. It's just too unfair a situation. You can't sit back and let it continue -- it sounds like it will eat away at you and you're going to get increasingly angry about it. I know I would get really upset -- especially the longer it goes on.
Good luck! I hope this works out to your benefit. 
|
| Posted 10/10/08 12:02 PM |
| |
|
Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
I would definitely have a heart to heart with your boss.
It sounds like this other woman totally screwed over everyone else by taking advantage of the situation, so now your boss is hesitant to let you work from home. I would go in with a specific game plan for how you would work from home. It sounds like he didn't do this with the other woman and now he is totally stuck with her taking advantage.
|
| Posted 10/10/08 12:08 PM |
| |
|
Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
Posted by Karen
I would definitely have a heart to heart with your boss.
It sounds like this other woman totally screwed over everyone else by taking advantage of the situation, so now your boss is hesitant to let you work from home. I would go in with a specific game plan for how you would work from home. It sounds like he didn't do this with the other woman and now he is totally stuck with her taking advantage.
I know - my DH keeps said, "that ....ruined it for you!"
|
| Posted 10/10/08 12:13 PM |
| |
|
Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
Posted by SweetCaroline
Posted by Karen
I would definitely have a heart to heart with your boss.
It sounds like this other woman totally screwed over everyone else by taking advantage of the situation, so now your boss is hesitant to let you work from home. I would go in with a specific game plan for how you would work from home. It sounds like he didn't do this with the other woman and now he is totally stuck with her taking advantage.
I know - my DH keeps said, "that ....ruined it for you!"
It stinks!
I think you're going to have to reassure him that you won't take advantage, and you plan on doing x, y, and z to stay accountable when you are out of the office.
|
| Posted 10/10/08 12:16 PM |
| |
|
EmmaNick
*
Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
Posted by SuzyQ
I definitely think you need to say something. I understand what you're saying about not playing it like, "she gets to do this, why can't I?" But she opened herself up to that by being nasty about it & rubbing your nose in the situation. You can do it the right way so that you don't sound like a brat. It's just too unfair a situation. You can't sit back and let it continue -- it sounds like it will eat away at you and you're going to get increasingly angry about it. I know I would get really upset -- especially the longer it goes on.
Good luck! I hope this works out to your benefit.
Life isn't fair sometimes and I don't think you (general you) are "entitled" to work from home regardless of who else is in the company. Especially in a small company where there are no real "rules". I think by pursuing this, the OP is just going to make her boss disgruntled and I truly think it will effect her position down the road.
I would let it go OP no matter how insensitive your co-worker is being
|
| Posted 10/10/08 12:23 PM |
| |
|
nancy6485
So in love
Member since 10/05 3363 total posts
Name:
Nancy
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
i hope you can work out a better situation wit your boss!
|
| Posted 10/10/08 12:39 PM |
| |
|
curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
Jessee I'm so sorry you're upset.
I have come to learn there are 2 kinds of people in this world......the kind who actually LISTEN to what others are saying, and the kind who are waiting for you to finish speaking so they can continue to talk about themselves and what they are thinking.
Unfortunately your coworker seems to fall in the latter category and honestly doesn't care too much about your situation. And she's making it worse by rubbing her perky situation in your face. This combination would be cause enough for me to banish this woman from breathing my oxygen and have me bursting into my boss's office with my repeated requests, and tell him this is what's going down.
Maybe you should work it like she does and take your boss's ignorance as approval!
Good luck, I hope you feel better!!!
|
| Posted 10/10/08 1:02 PM |
| |
|
missymoo
LIF Infant
Member since 1/08 215 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
I really do not understand some people
|
| Posted 10/10/08 1:05 PM |
| |
|
JChia
Mom of 2 Princesses
Member since 9/07 2540 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
I think your boss is ignoring your request b/c he realizes how unfair he is being. But, you can't stay in limbo forever and you need a decsion - yea or nay...
Posted by SweetCaroline
I feel like you haven't been on much lately - where have you been? Did you seen Ryan's Lori pics? How's Megan? Ryan sends her a
I have not been on too much lately - I'm looking into changing careers (LOL) because I am so disgruntled with the situation I'm in. Look at my post on the career board.
I did not see Ryan's Lori Pics - I'll do a search! Megan is looking forward to the Oct 19th GTG!
|
| Posted 10/10/08 1:14 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
From an HR perpective, I could see why they wouldn't want to approve another work from home situation if they've already gotten the shortend of the stick.
What I would suggest is to ask to meet with your boss. (not sure what you've done so far with this as I'm coming into the posts late).
Write down your plan in a concise manner what you will be doing from home on the days you're off & what he can expect on the days you're in the office.
Give him a sample log of work completed that you will complete each week.
During the meeting explain how his needs are going to be met & that you'd like to try this on a temporary basis for 3 months & then reevaluate every quarter. Also explain that this may be a good way for your company to manage their work from home employees to ensure that they are not being taken advantage of with the arrangement.
If an employee came to me with that, not only would I approve the leave if her job didn't require her to be in the office, but I would look at it as a way of managing my performance issue with the other employees by explainging that it's a new policy.
If you need the language from an HR manual, FM me.
|
| Posted 10/10/08 1:45 PM |
| |
|
SpencersMommy
I'm one lucky girl
Member since 11/07 3494 total posts
Name:
Melanie
|
Re: Ok, now I'm going to have a fit at work - Semi-Parenting related - LONG VENT
|
| Posted 10/10/08 3:30 PM |
| |
|
