Okay, how much does your life change???

When you have a baby, please tell me about everything that changes.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

nothing will be the same, and it is the most awesome thing that will ever happen to you. I have been in love with DS since the day he was born, but as he gets older and has more of a personality I feel like he is my best friend in the world.


Also see this nrthshrgrl's post

Message edited 5/15/2006 6:40:45 AM.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

It changes all around.............Once the baby is here your life is never going to be your own anymore. Everything revolves around their needs and you become secondary. In the beginning it will seem so overwhelming and at times you will think- is this what i really signed up for but trust me as the time passes by and the baby gets bigger and older it gets easier and you get into sync with each other.

Havin a baby is the greatest gift and you will feel so much love towards this little person.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

Everything changes- so much more then I ever imagined. It is so hard and amazing....
But for the practical stuff-

I was so totally unprepared for the sleep deprivation. I knew I would be up nights, but I never really understood how tired I would be until it actually happened. Especially in the first few months- I was so tired I was putting my keys in the fridge.

Also, I never knew how much a baby would change your schedule (and need a schedule). I remember before we had her friends would not be able to go out with the baby, the baby had to go to bed, etc. I was always thinking "what is the big deal, let the baby sleep out in the car seat." I am just realizing why now, since dd screams her head off if we are out of the house past 8 pm.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

I would say it changes just about everything. 90% of it for the better, the other 10% not so much.

The "bad" changes are the sleep deprivation, the not being able to run out for milk at the drop of a hat, the lack of "alone" time with DH, etc.

But in all honesty, it is just the greatest thing to have children. Yes, your life will change dramatically, but the gift that your children give you will be unmeasurable.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

Let me just say that when I got pregnant I was positively terrified of motherhood. And mostly because I kept hearing about how everything "changes" and how your life is not yours anymore. Nothing could have scared me more. So I guess I went into this expecting the absolute worst.

And maybe because of that is why I was so pleasantly surprised by the changes. It really wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Maybe if you look at it as an addition to your life, which is what a baby really is, instead of changes, you can understand a little better.

Here's what changed for me:

-True about spontaneity; there is alot less of it. An outing usually has to be carefully planned to account for baby's nap times and feeding times; you have to get the baby ready in addition to getting yourself ready, and you have to bring all the baby's stuff.

- Everything takes longer. Getting ready in the morning, leaving, arriving, going to bed...there's just more to do so it takes longer.

- You are more tired, more often. Sleeping in means 7:30am.

- You take your life and decisions you make in life more seriously. You have someone to care for now and you want to give them the best of everything possible, and you want to be so much more than you ever wanted to be for him/her. You thought you aspired to be something great before - in your career, in life...you have no idea until you have a child.

- What Barbara says is true about the vulnerability thing... you kind of feel like you are constantly walking around with a little open wound in your heart....because a piece of your heart is now outside your body.

- You smile more, you laugh more, you cry more tears of happiness...and you love more than you ever knew you could.

I guess for me, now that I know better, a baby doesn't mean change, a baby means more.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

Posted by missus-hbradio

Posted by BabyAvocado

Let me just say that when I got pregnant I was positively terrified of motherhood. And mostly because I kept hearing about how everything "changes" and how your life is not yours anymore. Nothing could have scared me more. So I guess I went into this expecting the absolute worst.

And maybe because of that is why I was so pleasantly surprised by the changes. It really wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Maybe if you look at it as an addition to your life, which is what a baby really is, instead of changes, you can understand a little better.

Here's what changed for me:

-True about spontaneity; there is alot less of it. An outing usually has to be carefully planned to account for baby's nap times and feeding times; you have to get the baby ready in addition to getting yourself ready, and you have to bring all the baby's stuff.

- Everything takes longer. Getting ready in the morning, leaving, arriving, going to bed...there's just more to do so it takes longer.

- You are more tired, more often. Sleeping in means 7:30am.

- You take your life and decisions you make in life more seriously. You have someone to care for now and you want to give them the best of everything possible, and you want to be so much more than you ever wanted to be for him/her. You thought you aspired to be something great before - in your career, in life...you have no idea until you have a child.

- What Barbara says is true about the vulnerability thing... you kind of feel like you are constantly walking around with a little open wound in your heart....because a piece of your heart is now outside your body.

- You smile more, you laugh more, you cry more tears of happiness...and you love more than you ever knew you could.

I guess for me, now that I know better, a baby doesn't mean change, a baby means more.

This is beautiful! I am saving this post.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

It changes everything. It is nothing you can truly prepare for. Yes, you can stock the nursery and buy clothes- but it's the hold on your heart that changes you as a person. It makes you want to be a better person, it makes you fiercly protective, it makes you question yourself, it makes you look at the world differently. It makes you dance to Jack's Big Music Show, carry wet-ones and binkies in your purse, and read the same book over and over again. It's crazy and magical and challenging. It makes you feel important and invisible. It makes you feel strong and vulnerable. It makes you feel confident and insecure. It's sloppy kisses, running hugs and genuine smiles. It's a blessing.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

Wow, what a question.

Life is unrecognizable for me.

I think the transition is easier for folks who return to work. While that has its own challenges (guilt primarily) continuing to work means you get part of your life back and time to be an independent adult and not just servant to baby.

I stayed at home after having the baby, and my family is all 200+ miles away. That means I feel "stuck" a lot of the time and can't go where I'd like to go. Doing errands is really hard. Babies don't like waiting on lines. Easy tasks become inconvenient. Simply going to brunch becomes a production that requires advanced planning and orchestration.

Many friends without babies stopped calling.

Evening become a rush to get everything done that couldn't happen while the baby was awake, and getting to sleep early because baby is going to wake up 6:30 am no matter what.

What you want is no longer most important. Baby comes first.

This all sounds so negative, which is ironic because I am happy. Its hard, really hard. Your world shifts dramatically. But you adjust, and baby changes, and it gets easier, and more fun...

All would be much more pleasant if I had family nearby who would give me more breaks. The longest I've been away from the baby in 13.5 months is 4 hours -- twice. LOL. Hopefully you'd do a better job than I have at taking care of yourself!

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

the biggest thiing is your social life...for it wasn't so bad since we are homebodies and prefer to be alone. We can't go out late nights anymore and can't just pick up and go to the movies or something.

Oh...and your sleep schedule....Oh my! But you adjust quickly and you can be amazed at what you can do on little sleep or with one hand!!

but I love having Alyson and she brings us such joy....even if I get a lousy 4 hrs of sleep, she smiles in the morning and I melt.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

You life changes greatly - but for me the adjustment has been wonderful.

We aren't as spontaneous as we used to be as far as picking up and going out because the baby needs to be feed, changed, is cranky, tired etc....but we just do things a bit slower, take our time, drive more cautiously, think more before we make decisions etc - its made life so much more meaningful for me.

The best advice I can give to a pregnant mom is SLEEP - because the sleep portion of your life does change greatly - but as Shana said its true that you will be amazed as to how much you can do with little sleep. And honestly - when it comes to my daughter I feel full of energy and do things with so much joy - i sometimes forget that im so tired.

Kids grow up fast and before you know it - they are walking, talking and in school - and your life changes again - For us its just wonderful to have someone to love and care for and its just been a blessing to have created such a beautiful baby. So although, life has changed - it has changed for the better.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???

I didn't read all of the responses because I didn't want to influence what I was going to say.
There are practical things that change such as you can't just run to the movies on a Saturday afternoon with DH or garden for the whole day without worry. Going to the dry cleaner..that is a challenge between carrying the clothes and Molly at the same time. If Molly doesn't sleep, no one does. I can't just sleep in late or run to the gym when I feel like it. My day and night does not belong to me anymore..it follows Molly's schedule. Molly goes to bed 7-7:30 so I can't be running errands or really out too much at that time. We need to be home and getting her ready for bed.
We pay for daycare and diapers and clothes for another person. So my money is not just mine anymore. I don't buy myself expensive pocketbooks or 6 pairs of shoes a season anymore. My husband always says that before we make a major purchase he thinks "this money should be in Molly's college fund. She will need it more than we need a patio" So we think of the future a bit more financially now too.

On the other side of the practical stuff is a whole different change in my life. Some expected, some just hit me like a ton of bricks. I have to protect Molly from every possible danger in the World. I see photos of Sudan and I think "That is just a regular mom like me and there is no food for her baby...what would I do" and I cry. I see a commerical or an ad for St. Judd's and I literally thank God I am not there waiting to speak to a doctor. I think of things like Global Warming and I KNOW that I have to do something..I can't allow Molly's World to literally be destroyed for money. I feel things more deeply, in different ways.

And then there is her smile and laughter and when she looks at me and says "Mommy you are pretty" or she runs to me to give me a hug before getting in the car with daddy. Then my heart gets bigger...and bigger and I am so "full" of joy. Sounds corny, but I truly mean it. I call Molly "Mollycakes" and one day she turned to me and called me "Mommycakes". I am literally smiling for days because of her.

So there are challenges and joys..and life does change. But I feel that life changes anyway and Molly has made my life change for the better.

Re: Okay, how much does your life change???