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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
So lets say you are coming into town and visiting a family member, a very close family member, say your own adult child...and you are spending the nights at a hotel, but spending the days with the family at their home, being looked after by the family, being fed every day and night by the lady of the house...
Would you show up empty handed or would you bring a gift for the hostess, flowers, a bottle of wine. Something? What about a little token gift for the children?
What are your thoughts? Would you ever show up at someones home without a gift if you knew they were going to be feeding you etc...
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Posted 6/2/11 3:18 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
If I'm just going to someone's house for the afternoon, I bring something. I never go empty handed to anyone's home. So yes, I would still bring a gift of some sort.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:19 PM |
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emilylives
biking
Member since 12/09 2163 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
I might bring something for the kids, but most likely not for the adult children. But that's just etiquette in my family. I totally don't presume to say that is normal for other families.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:20 PM |
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
Absolutely. But I was always taught to never show up at someone's house empty handed.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:21 PM |
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memi7206
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2355 total posts
Name:
Due Dec 29th!!!!!
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
If Im reading this right, and by "your own adult child" you mean if a parent was going to visit their own grown child......should they bring something? No, I would never expect my parents to bring anything while they were visiting me.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:23 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
I was taught never to arrive at someone's home empty handed. Doesn't matter if they are friend or family. It's just not done.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:24 PM |
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jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor
Member since 6/10 12821 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
Posted by memi7206
If Im reading this right, and by "your own adult child" you mean if a parent was going to visit their own grown child......should they bring something? No, I would never expect my parents to bring anything while they were visiting me.
That's what had me  . I wouldn't expect my mom or dad or my ILs to bring a gift, if they were staying with us or not.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:25 PM |
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KittyGags
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 5614 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
I wouldn't expect my mom or my in laws to bring anything to my house. Sometimes they do, and thats great, but I wouldn't expect anything.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:27 PM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
Well MIL/BIL don't bring anything - and I'm fine with that. In return, we don't have to bring anything to them.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:29 PM |
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acm1899
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 1085 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
Posted by memi7206
If Im reading this right, and by "your own adult child" you mean if a parent was going to visit their own grown child......should they bring something? No, I would never expect my parents to bring anything while they were visiting me.
In the OP's case, it's not just the son/daughter but the whole family who you would be visiting. And the question isn't about what the host would expect but what you as the guest would feel is appropriate.
If I were visiting my child and his/her family I would not be able to go without bringing some small token of thanks.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:31 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
Posted by Erica
Well MIL/BIL don't bring anything - and I'm fine with that. In return, we don't have to bring anything to them.
I love it!
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:32 PM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
In this example, I would be the adult child that also has children (well, one child) of my own. When my mother comes to visit - or my MIL - I do not ever expect them to bring anything. On occasion my mom will bring a trinket or toy for DS, but that is not expected nor is it every time. My MIL sometimes will bring a food item. Regardless, I would never be upset if they came "empty handed" - to me it's not something they need to do at all.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:37 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
Posted by LoveyQ
In this example, I would be the adult child that also has children (well, one child) of my own. When my mother comes to visit - or my MIL - I do not ever expect them to bring anything. On occasion my mom will bring a trinket or toy for DS, but that is not expected nor is it every time. My MIL sometimes will bring a food item. Regardless, I would never be upset if they came "empty handed" - to me it's not something they need to do at all.
How often do you see them?
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:38 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
I think I'd bring something for the kids--especially if they live far enough away to require an overnight visit.
I might also bring desert , or baked goods for braekfast, if we were going to be eating at their house, but I don't expect my parents or in-laws to bring anything to me (no kids).
I don't always bring something to my in-laws, but they are a few minutes away & we see them all the time & often on short notice.
My grandparents used to bring my mom coffe & papaer towels everytime she hosted a family function--I think out of guilt that they didn'thave the room to have the parties anymore & because my grandfather shopped like those extreme couponing people, so they had some to spare!
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:39 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
My parents always bring something over when they come, but I would never, ever expect them to. However, I'll pay it forward and bring something when I go over to my adult children's houses one day.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:43 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
We all try to, but sometimes don't. If that happens we spring for dinner.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:52 PM |
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Mill188
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 3073 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
My ILs live OOS (thank God). They come in and stay with us for over a week each year. (I want to kill myself when this happens.) They NEVER bring a thing, never offer to go food shopping, help clean up or make a meal.
Honestly, I think it's incredibly rude. If they were just coming to dinner, I wouldn't expect anything, but the fact that they stay in my house and don't contribute anything for a week or two at a time is a different story.
At the very least, I feel like they should offer to take us out to dinner ONE night. It's caused many arguments between DH and I.
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| Posted 6/2/11 3:55 PM |
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CallaLily
Thank you, Saint Gerard!
Member since 10/07 4937 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
Posted by memi7206
If Im reading this right, and by "your own adult child" you mean if a parent was going to visit their own grown child......should they bring something? No, I would never expect my parents to bring anything while they were visiting me.
Same
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| Posted 6/2/11 4:04 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
It depends. I don't bring something to Nashville when I stay with my MIL. My BIL and SIL just stayed with me for one night and didn't bring anything.. It didn't even cross my mind. They are family.
BUT, for some reason.. a friend.. I would bring something. Weird. I have no idea why?
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| Posted 6/2/11 4:41 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
Posted by Mill188
My ILs live OOS (thank God). They come in and stay with us for over a week each year. (I want to kill myself when this happens.) They NEVER bring a thing, never offer to go food shopping, help clean up or make a meal.
Honestly, I think it's incredibly rude. If they were just coming to dinner, I wouldn't expect anything, but the fact that they stay in my house and don't contribute anything for a week or two at a time is a different story.
At the very least, I feel like they should offer to take us out to dinner ONE night. It's caused many arguments between DH and I.
Okay. I have the same situation. My MIL doesn't bring a gift but, she pays for meals (at least some) and takes DS shopping. She picks up flowers and will even plant them for us. She will cook a meal or two also. So she does contribute. I can't believe your in-laws don't even treat to dinner!
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| Posted 6/2/11 4:43 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
Posted by CallaLily
Posted by memi7206
If Im reading this right, and by "your own adult child" you mean if a parent was going to visit their own grown child......should they bring something? No, I would never expect my parents to bring anything while they were visiting me.
Same
I agree.
My parents stay with me all the time they are up from Florida. One time my Dad stayed for a month. He never brought anything nor would I expect it....they provided for me for a long time....taking care of them in town is the least I could do for them.
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| Posted 6/2/11 4:48 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
I would never expect anything - but I would always bring something.
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| Posted 6/2/11 4:49 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
My parents always come loaded down with gifts when they come to visit and then each day they are here they fight me to buy something when we are at the store. I always bring stuff into my sister when I go to visit her whether I stay the night or not....If I visit a friend who I haven't seen in awhile I always take chocolates or something....
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| Posted 6/2/11 4:50 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
I never go to anyones house empty handed. Never. For playdates, drinks with girlfriends, anything, never empty handed.
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| Posted 6/2/11 4:57 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.
I don't expect anyone to bring me or my daughter gifts...but I personally never go to someone's house empty handed.
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| Posted 6/2/11 5:25 PM |
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