opinions on being an only child

whether it was planned or not...

Re: opinions on being an only child

I am not an only child but my DH is and I really believe that is what has made him to be so independent. He says he really didn't mind it because it made him who he is today (which i think is pretty dam good). However it was not planned that way....his mom and dad tried for 4 years to get pregnant with him and after he was born his dad left within the first year of his life. His step dad (who he now considers his dad) and his mom tried for years for a baby which never happened.....but I think it more affects his mom now because she always wanted a girl.

I come from a large family (there are 4 of us) and while it sure does have its benefits, you definately have your issues because the larger group you are the more different you all are.

So that is our experience. That being said I would not mind to have one but would prefer to have two kids....more for us though, not for the hope down the road of the friends that they will have.

Re: opinions on being an only child

I am an only child and I thought it had it's good and bad points. The only thing now, as I'm older, I wish I had a sibling because they can be supportive when you lose a parent.

I also didn't grow up getting everything I wanted. Yes, maybe as a child, my Christmas was a bit extravagant, but as I got older I worked for things that I wanted. No one paid for my car or insurance or my credit card bills. So I was taught how to be independent. But that can be taught in any family~only child or not.

I would like to have one child, but maybe in a few years I'll feel different.

Re: opinions on being an only child

I am an only child and it has it good points and bad points, I lost both parents before I turned 21 it would have been great to have an older sibling but I thank god I didn't have a younger sibling when this happened. But now I have my sil and she is just as close as a real sister would be!

Re: opinions on being an only child

I'm an only child and, to be honest, I wish I wasn't!

I was never spoiled materialistically, but I think I was used to getting a lot of emotional support from my mom because I was the only one! Also, I think my mom was more of a worrywart and made me a worrywart too! Also, my parents fought a lot and it was hard not having anyone else there.

But, I think that was just my particular situation- being an only child has advantages too. I guess just because I wish I had siblings I'm hoping I can have two children someday.

Re: opinions on being an only child

Message edited 2/8/2007 9:14:42 AM.

Re: opinions on being an only child

Thanks for all of your posts and some good points never considered.

Re: opinions on being an only child

I was an only child and for this reason I will have more than one child.
Growing up it wasn't awful but it was difficult when I reflect back now as an adult. My parents got divorced when I was young and my mom had to go back to work and that made me a "latch key" kid. With no siblings I would spend a lot of my time after school alone.
I think it also made it hard for me to adapt to different living situations like having roommates and even being married. I am quite the control freak and have had to work really hard to relax and realize its not just my house and my space.
Lastly having a dependent parent and no one to share to financial or emotional burden with is a real PITA. Luckily I have an amazingly understanding husband but it still stinks. I hope that I would never be in the positon that my mother is in but if I were I would hate for one child to not have someone to help out. Of course siblings is not a gurarantee of help but you would hope that everyone would chip in.
But if my option were one child or no children I would have one in a heartbeat. I love my daughter to pieces and if she is the only child I ever have my life would still feel complete.


ETA: I also wish I had a sibling so that my daughter would have more cousins and would have a real sense of extended family. My family is basically me and my mom and DH's family isn't that big either.

Message edited 11/10/2005 11:44:54 AM.

Re: opinions on being an only child

I am an only child.
I don't miss having any brothers or sisters simply because I never had them in the first place, you know what I mean?
I had some cousins near my age, and grew up with friends in the neighborhood & in school, & had a great dog as a child :) -so boredom was rarely an issue.

Re: opinions on being an only child

I am not an only child but I really think it is important for couples to figure out if THEY want additional children or if they are doing it FOR someone else- such as grandparent pressure, society pressure. If you are happy and fullfilled with one child and your life is in a good place I don't think anyone needs to have a second child. If a couple feels that "tug" to have another child that is fine too.
I think the way you raise your child you would do whether you have one, two or ten kids. If you teach your children to be caring, generous, hard working individuals you will do that no matter how many you have. (But yes, holidays will be a bit more fancy I admit).

Also, having siblings is NOT a guarentee that you will have help or any type of support system. In fact, I know plenty of people whose siblings cause more drama for the family. My father's siblings do NOTHING emotionally for anyone. Yes, technically my father had siblings to go thru his mother's dealth with but really, he didn't. They all just fought and made it worse on themselves.

Do what makes you happy. If that is having an only child, that is okay.