Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

about our DS's future education. Now I know he is only a few months old, but for what I want to do we need to start saving.....now.

OK so here it goes. (And please no offense intended by my opinions...) I am not a fan of public schools for a wide variety of reasons. I want to consider the possibility of either sending DS to the British Curriculum school in Manhattan, or to a Montessori school. The BC school begins at age 4, and certain Montessori schools have infant to school-aged programs. The Montessori school is closer to where we live, but by the time DS is old enough I should be back to work in Manhattan, so we can commute together.

The BC school costs as much as St. John's University, and I am not sure how much the Montessori school is.

Now I know that the curriculum is intense, but I was home-schooled in the BC style & by the time I got to public school was bored to death, even with all my music, sports, dance etc. It made me hate school & I actually did not even go to college right out of HS.

DH thinks that if DS is prolific in his studies that he can go to a public school and that we can entertain him with additional activities. I am not as certain since all it did for me was make me not want to go to school all day & "play" all night.

OK so if you have read this much....you get a gold star

Opinions?

TIA

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

tough choice...and it's totally personal!

I think public schools are what you take out of them....there are delinquents and there are those who advance on to Harvard out of public schools....WHY? who knows....nature? nurture?

What a child gets from their education is partly what their parents instill in them....work ethic, studuy habits, etc.

I am NOT a fan of those that cart their kids around every day to multiple activities and sports. It's too much....by the time the kid gets home, eats, and STARTS their homework, it's like 8 or 9pm and then they have HOURS worth of HW. How is that beneficial? The kid then becomes sleep deprived.

We plan on giving our kids CHOICES as to what activities they want to try/participate in and school is the PRIORITY.

I have ZERO knowledge on the BC system you mentioned.

I don't think I was much help!

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Hmmmm...that's tough--thank goodness you have a while!

Wow, the BC school seems like an enormous financial commitment. I admire your willingness to start the sacrifice now for DS's education!

OK, what I don't understand is this: is this BC thing a Pre-K through 12 thing? Why did you end up in public school? And will your son be doing the same eventually or will he attend college straight from BC? If so, what is that $20K x 12 years or more? Forgive my "tuition ignorance" I attended a CUNY school!

Secondly, if BC made you "hate" mainstream schooling, is that a gamble you want to take with DS? Maybe I am reading your words wrong on this one.

Lastly, if he only goes to public school (and you supplement with activities, as your DH suggested), he will not know any different--which could be a good or a bad thing, I suppose.

Just some rambling thoughts...

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

I don't know how to help you, but one thing that I think is that when your child gets to school age you might change your mind completely when you get to know his personality and his likes and dislikes. I know that was true for me and my childcare...

I went to public schools my whole life and I turned out okay, I hated it, but I don't really know anyone who loved school when they were a kid!!!

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

I had met a mom whose son was in MOntesorri until about 4th grade, and when (not sure what the reasons were) he was put into public schools (in an EXCELLENT district on LI) he had a terrible time adjusting to simple routines and classroom etiquette. (not that it made him a bad student).

This is just a very personal decision.
Im with your DH on this one. I didnt go to the best schools, but I turned out ok. but we did move to where we are now to give my children the best possible public education.

There are so many pros and cons and so many factors to weigh in to both sides.

Sorry that was not much help.
good luck in your decision.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

well, i dont know if ths helps....btu i have a BIL that went to public school until high school, and went to a private prep school in PA for his high school years, where he took things like chinese and anyone that played sports at this school was pretty much guaranteed scholarships opportunities over public schoolers......could u do public school until your DC has the knowledge and opportunity to choose for himself? hmmm, a thought.....

i was a public schooler myself, and got a double scholarship to play 2 sports in college, so i would never knock public school....and my sister has 6 kids and is homeschooling, and yes, they are all EXTREMELY smart.......

im just babbling- i dont know too much about any to offer much advice...but thats my 3 cents.......

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Posted by anna

I had met a mom whose son was in MOntesorri until about 4th grade, and when (not sure what the reasons were) he was put into public schools (in an EXCELLENT district on LI) he had a terrible time adjusting to simple routines and classroom etiquette. (not that it made him a bad student).

This is just a very personal decision.
Im with your DH on this one. I didnt go to the best schools, but I turned out ok. but we did move to where we are now to give my children the best possible public education.

There are so many pros and cons and so many factors to weigh in to both sides.

Sorry that was not much help.
good luck in your decision.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Very tough decision. DH and I always had differing views on public vs. parochial school educations because we each want for our children how we were raised. I have no information on the BC school you mention, but I do know that based on our religious preferences, our chidren will be going to parochial schools.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Thanks everyone for your opinions. To answer a few questions...

The BC school in Manhattan is the only one (right now) in the area. It is age 4 - 14 and currently costs $27,000 a year plus uniforms, meals and trips. So other than boarding school in the UK, I am not even sure what to do about the "high school" years. Of course my plan is to move to London before then, but that is a whole new argument with DH

I was home schooled by my grandmother (born in England & a teacher there until they left during WWII) She taught me with the intention to home school, but then had to return to work when she got divorced. I went to catholic school for almost one year until a nun slapped my hand with a ruler (for asking how Nebuchadnezzar could get so old) & then my mom yanked me out & I went to the local public school.

I am aware that DS may not "fit into" the requirements for the BC, but I'd love to prepare just in case.


Again, thanks....I guess we have a lot to consider.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

So my kid will go to a British Curriculum school and I didn't even know it???

All the schools in my neighbourhood have something like 60% of kids speak languages other than English in the home. Interesting huh??? But we have excellent schools near me.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

We will be sending Andrew to private school and started saving already. It is very important for us that he goes to private school for many reasons.

I have not yet decided yet if we will go the religious route right away or not. That is still up in the air.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

I think saving now won't hurt you whether you decide to private school DC or not. I think it really depends on the learning style of your son- he may be similar to you, or he may be completely different... all children are different, so you really can't make any decision until he's older- but as I said, saving the $ cannot hurt.. although I don't know how I'd ever EVER afford a 27k/year tuition for that many years in a row.

another note: I commute into HOboken from NJ and a lot of boys commute to St. Peters Prep and I don't know why, but I feel so bad for them- they don't get home until SO late and they seem so exhausted. I just don't see why the poor kids have to get home so late- seems like there's enough of that when you are older and have to go to and from work!

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Totally a personal diecision. I personally thing that there is nothing wrong with going to public school as long as it's a good district. If we stay in the city of Chicago the boys will definitely be going to private school. There are so few magnet programs (that's what they call the gifted schools here) that you aren't guaranteed a spot. I'm not a fan of the Chicago Public School system. If we live in the suburbs then they will go to public school at least for elementary. DH wants them to go to this very expensive private catholic HS he went to whether we live in the city or suburbs.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

I'm not sure I see what the central disagreement is between your husband and you. Sounds like you both value education. Does he not want to spend the money or does he have some other objection to private school?

My personal opinion: I feel very fortunate that we have choices. Personally I'm leaning towards public school for elementary for social reasons -- I think that K-5 is more about learning to be a good friend than learning facts, and I like the idea of a local school with a diverse population. Private schools in the early years seem so homogenous around where I live. I see a lot more benefit though to private school for 6-12 if my daughter are academically interested... My personal opinion may be biased though since both my husband and I went only to public schools before college, and we both ended up with graduate degrees from Harvard... So I don't worry about the quality of the curriculum in good districts...

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

DH sees nothing wrong with Public school and thinks that after school activities on our part are enough enrichment. That is the argument. The money just makes him want to vomit.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

I am not a mom yet, but I will give you my opinion on this. As a former educator, I think so much of a child's success depends on the parents' involvement and attention to their education. There are definitely better schools and better curriculums, but I think most kids can be successful in most environments. I also think you can't lump public and private into general categories. I think you have to look at the individual schools in your area that are options for you and decide which one individually would suit your child's needs best.

For me, I couldn't see spending that kind of money for the BC school. I would rather put it away for college education, but that is a personal decision, and if you guys can swing it, that's great.

One thing you might want to consider is the proximity of friends and how often your son will get to see them outside of school hours if you are taking him to Manhattan. Once he is at an age where he would want to go to birthday parties and go over his friends' houses, it would be a LOT easier for you to coordinate all of that locally.

And I also am someone who always loved school.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

i am sending my daughter to a montessori for Nursery school - but once she hits 5 she will go to a public school. I feel this way she will be exposed to multiple different ways of learning.

I am also basing this on my childs personality. I couldnt have made this descision at birth...based on what I see now I think she would benefit from a montessori, but I don't think it is for everyone.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Hard decision....

Im torn too already b/c I dont like the public school system all that much..

I went to a private school from pre school/nursery till 3rd grade, by the time I entered public school due to the cost of the private, I was way ahead and my mother didnt want me to skip grades and be so young in an higher grade so she kept me grade wise where I was...

I was bored to death , even in high school.....I was called a cheater in 10th grade by my Social studies teacher b/c I cut class so much yet got the highest regents score in like 25 years at the school...I cut because I was bored and couldnt have cheated iff I knew more then the others...lol

I am still not finished with college b/c I feel like I waiver all the time on commitments to school and get so bored with the way its run and cant afford a really great school......meanwhile I LOVE school in general and learning and would be a forever student if financially possible.

Long story short I think my issues are because of lack of a certain cohesive structure or a too rigid way of learning. Hard to explain it really.

But....
I love the Montessori approach, and have observed it and may lean that way for my own child.....

my ramblings are pointing towards saying I understand your decision and I think its very personal but I would vote away from the public school idea if I had a choice.....

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)

I think it really depends where you live. I know that there are some excellent public schools( I happen to work in one in CA) but there are also really crappy ones- even the "highly rated" ones. So I think it depends on your financial situation, coupled with the quality of your local schools.

Re: Opinions please. DH & I Had an tiff about schooling (long)