| Posted By |
Message |
jaysee00
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1647 total posts
Name:
|
Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Last summer when we got married, my aunt, uncle and 2 cousins came to our wedding. They are from out of state and stayed with relatives when they were here. My cousins are in their early twenties and came solo. They all gave a card together and in it was $100 from the four of them. We had a typical LI wedding reception. I do not get easily offended by something like this. My DH was offended especially since they didn't have to pay for hotel stay and he knows that all have good jobs.
Now one of those cousins is getting married this summer. We can not attend the wedding. I want to send at least $50, maybe higher. My DH wants to send $25! I think he's nuts. He told me to post the question here. I know he'll go along with what I want to do considering it's my cousin, but I'm curious...what would you do?
Message edited 4/19/2006 10:55:02 PM.
|
Posted 4/19/06 10:54 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
I always give what I can afford, I don't base it on what they gave us. We might be in a different financial situation than they are.
|
| Posted 4/19/06 10:56 PM |
| |
|
evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Even with their ridiculous gift and the fact that it's an out of state wedding in mind, I still would not be comfortable sending 25 bucks. I would either send 50 or I wouldn't send a monetary gift, I'd send like a pretty picture frame or something.
|
| Posted 4/19/06 10:58 PM |
| |
|
jaysee00
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1647 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Posted by evenedan
Even with their ridiculous gift and the fact that it's an out of state wedding in mind, I still would not be comfortable sending 25 bucks. I would either send 50 or I wouldn't send a monetary gift, I'd send like a pretty picture frame or something.
This is EXACTLY how I feel. I just told DH and he actually really likes the idea of sending a gift instead. I think he just likes to get a rise out of me in situations like this! 
|
| Posted 4/19/06 11:01 PM |
| |
|
LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
In this situation I would send a gift from off of their registry and not a check.
|
| Posted 4/19/06 11:16 PM |
| |
|
KLSbear
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 1908 total posts
Name:
Karen
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
I grew up in the midwest and the norm there was to give a gift off the registry - cash or check in an envelope was unheard of (at least back when I lived there - not sure if that's changed). It wasn't until I moved to NY that I experienced this phenomenom of giving cash or check and especially the "cost of the plate" rule which I personally think is absurd. My MIL actually ends up turning down events for extended family because she can't afford to ante up for the plate cost. If these out of town relatives were not raised in NY you might want to point out to DH that their gift might have been considered generous and normal for their area of the country and they couldn't have expected to know what goes on here in terms of inflated gift giving.
|
| Posted 4/19/06 11:23 PM |
| |
|
Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
We just had a similar situation. A couple from FL came to our wedding last summer and gave $60. They stayed with friends here. WE flew down to their wedding in Feb... almost $1000 bucks in airfaire and hotel because it was Winter break yeah for 48 hours. I was adamant that we give no more than $100. The groom is from LI so he should have known the custom and by the way gets paid very well.
I vote for $50.
|
| Posted 4/20/06 6:00 AM |
| |
|
MsG
Should be working
Member since 5/05 2824 total posts
Name:
G
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Posted by sarahsmommy
I always give what I can afford, I don't base it on what they gave us.
I agree.
|
| Posted 4/20/06 6:20 AM |
| |
|
curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Our wedding was upstate and a young couple from up there gave us roughly $50 in gifts from my registry (we're talking, a cheese grater, a potato masher, meat tenderizer...)
She's now getting married up there as well, and there's now ay I am giveng cash......I'm not even going. I am getting a nice bowl and a $25 gift card from BB&B......
In places other than LI it is very common to give gifts, and if it is money, it's not like we give here.....we're crazy, didn'tcha know? 
|
| Posted 4/20/06 6:25 AM |
| |
|
pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice
Member since 5/05 9612 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
i say give either $50 or send something off their registry .
|
| Posted 4/20/06 6:51 AM |
| |
|
lilacwine
only love...
Member since 5/05 2034 total posts
Name:
<3
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Buy something off the registry, or buy something at a place like the lenox outlet that will make it look like you're giving a gift that costs more than it actually did.
|
| Posted 4/20/06 8:04 AM |
| |
|
LAMGAJ28
.
Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Posted by pinky
i say give either $50 or send something off their registry .
Ditto!
|
| Posted 4/20/06 8:51 AM |
| |
|
Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Posted by LSP2005
In this situation I would send a gift from off of their registry and not a check.
Same here. A lot of people who could not make our wedding sent us stuff from our registery ranging in prices from $25-over $300. I think that is appropriate if you don't attend the wedding.
|
| Posted 4/20/06 8:54 AM |
| |
|
LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
I agree w/ the registry gift. But as far as gifts go I give based on what I can afford.
|
| Posted 4/20/06 9:03 AM |
| |
|
november12003
Love my boys...
Member since 5/05 2412 total posts
Name:
Jenn
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
I would get them a gift instead.
|
| Posted 4/20/06 9:26 AM |
| |
|
dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Posted by LSP2005
In this situation I would send a gift from off of their registry and not a check.
I agree.
|
| Posted 4/20/06 9:35 AM |
| |
|
lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
A gift sounds good. Keep in mind out of staters don't realize what the average LI Wedding costs, nor do they know what the average gift is in most cases.
|
| Posted 4/20/06 10:05 AM |
| |
|
jersee3380
He's here!!
Member since 5/05 1372 total posts
Name:
caroline
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Posted by LSP2005
In this situation I would send a gift from off of their registry and not a check.
i agree.
|
| Posted 4/20/06 10:32 AM |
| |
|
Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Posted by dita
A gift sounds good. Keep in mind out of staters don't realize what the average LI Wedding costs, nor do they know what the average gift is in most cases.
This is what I was thinking. $100 could very well be a very generous wedding where they come from.
I think something off their registry would be very nice.
|
| Posted 4/20/06 10:36 AM |
| |
|
oakslady
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 969 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
i'd send a gift no more than $30.
|
| Posted 4/21/06 4:32 AM |
| |
|
Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
Posted by MsG
Posted by sarahsmommy
I always give what I can afford, I don't base it on what they gave us.
I agree.
I double agree.
|
| Posted 4/21/06 9:54 AM |
| |
|
eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
|
Re: Opinions Please (Gift Giving)
I would send a gift off the registry, I wouldn't even bother sending a monetary gift. I think because we all live here we forget that sending an actual gift -- especially for an out of state wedding -- is ALWAYS an acceptable option when you don't attend the wedding.
|
| Posted 4/21/06 10:02 AM |
| |
|
