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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
Name:
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Opinions wanted!
If you were pregnant and not married and the father of your baby said "I want to wait until after the baby is born to see if we're compatible enough to get married." WHAT WOULD you say?
Me...I'd say..."if I was compatible enough to sleep with for the past 3 years and your sperm and my egg were compatible enough to join together, then we're compatible...but since you're saying that, well, I don't want to marry you."
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Posted 10/7/06 10:24 AM  |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Opinions wanted!
Posted by MissJones
if I was compatible enough to sleep with for the past 3 years and your sperm and my egg were compatible enough to join together, then we're compatible...but since you're saying that, well, I don't want to marry you."
I think that's perfect!!! I think he's throwing excuses your way! Kick his butt!
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:26 AM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted!
That sounds good. I don't know what I would say but I know that I would be very angry!
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:27 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Opinions wanted!
I think I would castrate him so he wouldn't have to worry about being a baby daddy.
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:29 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Opinions wanted!
I guess I'm in the minority- I don't see pregnancy as a reason to get married. I don't see anything wrong with this guy saying, "let's have the baby, feel it out, and then we'll go from there." As long as he plans on taking the responsibilty of being a father, that's really the bottom line.
Expecting a baby can be, and is, very overwhelming- even when you're married and the pregnancy is planned. I think to combine that with planning a marriage is just too much.
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:30 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Opinions wanted!
Posted by nferrandi
I guess I'm in the minority- I don't see pregnancy as a reason to get married. I don't see anything wrong with this guy saying, "let's have the baby, feel it out, and then we'll go from there." As long as he plans on taking the responsibilty of being a father, that's really the bottom line.
Expecting a baby can be, and is, very overwhelming- even when you're married and the pregnancy is planned. I think to combine that with planning a marriage is just too much.
If they weren't together for 3 years before, I would say that. One night stands should not get married for a baby.
But after three years together I don't think another 9 mos. will make any difference. Either you want to be with the person forever or you don't. After three years you know.
And I personally think if you are going to get married eventually and you are PG, I would do it before the baby is born.
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:36 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted!
I would probably break up with him. If someone has been with me for 3 years & still didn't know he wanted to marry me, as far as I'm concerned he's given me an answer.
If I were pregnant - even with someone I dated for 3 years - I would need convincing that the guy wanted to marry me pregnancy aside.
I agree. I don't see pregnancy as a reason to marry. I see it as a reason to make sure that you really want a child with THIS GUY because he will have 50% say in your child's life until their 18 years old.
Message edited 10/7/2006 10:38:03 AM.
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:37 AM |
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ssbride05
:-)
Member since 5/05 2654 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Opinions wanted!
Posted by nrthshgrl
I would probably break up with him. If someone has been with me for 3 years & still didn't know he wanted to marry me, as far as I'm concerned he's given me an answer.
If I were pregnant - even with someone I dated for 3 years - I would need convincing that the guy wanted to marry me pregnancy aside.
I agree. I don't see pregnancy as a reason to marry. I see it as a reason to make sure that you really want a child with THIS GUY because he will have 50% say in your child's life until their 18 years old.
well said and I agree!
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:40 AM |
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Emily
Kasey & Me! Lurves it!
Member since 7/06 8703 total posts
Name:
STBHC
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Re: Opinions wanted!
Sounds like its time to go on Jerry Springer and whoop his butt!!
Use reverse psychology..."Okay, sounds fine by me. Now sign these papers giving up your right to be the daddy."
He will marry her in a heartbeat!
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| Posted 10/7/06 10:55 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Opinions wanted!
I think that its actually a mature thing to do, so Im in the minority too. HEs not walking away from her or his responsibilites, he just doesnt want to use a baby as a reason to get married ( and then possibly divorced). I agree with the decision.
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:01 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Opinions wanted!
Posted by dm24angel
I think that its actually a mature thing to do, so Im in the minority too. HEs not walking away from her or his responsibilites, he just doesnt want to use a baby as a reason to get married ( and then possibly divorced). I agree with the decision.
I agree. I understand how this woman is feeling, but if he's saying this, that means there are doubts in his mind, and I think it's better for a baby to be born to unwed parents than to be born to parents who got married either too soon or for the wrong reasons and to have to go through a divorce. I think it's the mature thing to do
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:05 AM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted!
BTW, not my situation! I'm married, not pregnant.
Anyway, this is my friends situation and I want to give this guy a swift kick in the arse!!!
While I agree that getting pregnant is NOT a reason to get married, his comment irked me A LOT!!! I feel like this only adds to the evidence that he is the most selfish person. He treated my friend like crap when they found out she was pregnant and expected her to have an abortion. He put her through 2 months of the silent treatment like it was HER FAULT!! Anyway, just want to hear your thoughts.
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:06 AM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted!
Posted by nferrandi
I guess I'm in the minority- I don't see pregnancy as a reason to get married. I don't see anything wrong with this guy saying, "let's have the baby, feel it out, and then we'll go from there." As long as he plans on taking the responsibilty of being a father, that's really the bottom line.
Expecting a baby can be, and is, very overwhelming- even when you're married and the pregnancy is planned. I think to combine that with planning a marriage is just too much.
I agree, as much as it ssucks if he has any doubt about the marriage, better to know now. Who wanst to be the one who got married b/c you are pregnant only to have it end a year later, or worse be resented for it.
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:08 AM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted!
Posted by MissJones
BTW, not my situation! I'm married, not pregnant.
Anyway, this is my friends situation and I want to give this guy a swift kick in the arse!!!
While I agree that getting pregnant is NOT a reason to get married, his comment irked me A LOT!!! I feel like this only adds to the evidence that he is the most selfish person. He treated my friend like crap when they found out she was pregnant and expected her to have an abortion. He put her through 2 months of the silent treatment like it was HER FAULT!! Anyway, just want to hear your thoughts.
ok that makes a huge difference. I think she should kick him to the curb, but not for the comment you originally mentioned.
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:09 AM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions wanted!
Posted by JenniferEver
Posted by dm24angel
I think that its actually a mature thing to do, so Im in the minority too. HEs not walking away from her or his responsibilites, he just doesnt want to use a baby as a reason to get married ( and then possibly divorced). I agree with the decision.
I agree. I understand how this woman is feeling, but if he's saying this, that means there are doubts in his mind, and I think it's better for a baby to be born to unwed parents than to be born to parents who got married either too soon or for the wrong reasons and to have to go through a divorce. I think it's the mature thing to do
I agree too. However, I do think they need to take the first few months after baby arrives with a grain of salt. Even the most solid of relationships may hit a few rocky patches after a baby is brought into it.
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| Posted 10/7/06 11:11 AM |
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