Overwhelmed by house? UPDATE 3/6: WE DID IT! We sold our house and bought an apartment!

Update 3/6 - Well, we did it! Everything fell into place over the past few months and while there were a couple of hiccups, we've happily settled in to our apartment over the past month. Crazy thing is, while we wanted to stay in Queens, we ended up in Great Neck! We found a stunning pre-war apartment back in October and loved the charm of the town. My commute is amazing so far. We already feel the stress of owning a house melting off our shoulders. It still doesn't feel real, but we are so happy! Downsizing was the right decision for us; our only regret is that we didn't do it sooner.

Update 10/15 - we made an offer on a gorgeous apartment and it was accepted! :::does happy dance::: Still have to go through the whole co-op process, so keep those good vibes coming!

Update 9/27 - our house is in contract! Waaahhhhhooooo!!!! We expect to close in a couple of months. Meanwhile we're on the hunt for just the right apartment to buy!

Update 8/31 - send us good vibes, people! Turns out that while DH's parents were here, word got out throughout the family that we were going to list the house. One of his family members immediately inquired about it and asked us if we would consider a FSBO, and we agreed. We're selling it to them and our attorney just sent the contract to their attorney! It's all happening so fast but we're really excited!


Update 7/19 - well, after lots of thought and talk, perusing what's out there and attending some open houses...DH and I are jumping in and downsizing to an apartment! Super excited! We have his parents here from out of the country for the next month so that hinders a bit on being able to show it (it's just...their stuff is all over, it looks cluttered, etc) BUT we've been storing a bunch of their things so it's perfect timing for them to sort through and decide what to toss/what they can bring back to Bangladesh with them, so the timing works out on that side of things. We will show the place during weeks where they are staying with other family members. It's all-around easier that way.

Found a great place for my drum set too!!! Which is very exciting because I was afraid I'd have to give it up or get an electric kit and that made me cry.

So now...we're purging shit (even as the minimalists that we are, we still have a lot of stuff), getting his parents' stuff organized, and vetting agents. We expect to list really soon.

OMG IT'S ALL HAPPENING



Anyone just feel overwhelmed by your house?
Lately DH and I have been feeling this way.

There's just always something to do, some project that needs to happen, emergencies, plus the fact that we have a LOT of space for just the two of us plus two cats.

We aren't overwhelmed financially - we live below our means and are able to put extra money toward our mortgage, so it's not a financial reason. It's just like...we're always doing something, always cleaning. Not spending as much time living life because of shit that needs to happen in the house. Plus shoveling snow in the winter.

We fantasize about downsizing to a 2-br apartment in a building somewhere and selling the house. We're in Queens and would stay in the borough for certain. We've done apartment living so it's not unfamiliar. We've gone so far as to have a realtor come by and give us an idea of what it would be listed at, and we are happy with what they told us.

It's a huge change. Has anyone else done something like this?

Message edited 3/6/2018 2:45:11 PM.

Re: Overwhelmed by house?

going from a 1 bedroom co op to a 6 bedroom house. im afraid as fkkk

Overwhelmed by house?

I tell DH all the time I want to sell our house and get an apartment in the city so no, I don't think you're crazy at all. If you sold your house, what's the worst that can happen? If you hate living in an apartment you buy another house. You can't go into it thinking it's the be all end all, kwim?Otherwise you'll never do it.

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Thanks for the encouraging words!

We know we can get a lot more out of life if we downsize to an apartment. There are a couple areas in particular that we are eyeing.

It will be nice to spend our weekends doing cool shit and not going to Home Depot.

Barb - don't get me wrong, having a house is awesome. But it's a lot of space for two people who know for certain that children aren't going to be a part of our lives. I'm excited for you guys! Embrace the chaos!

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Ugh. I feel the same way. We can't downsize because we have 3 kids and our house is small for us as is. But it is seriously never ending. Always projects to do and crap like that. Everytime we turn around. It's annoying.

I wasted last Friday sitting in the house for our annual boiler maintenance to be done. During the torrential downpour, it started drizzling a little in our back room (it was an extension put on the house years ago). Now it's $900 to fix the roof on that part. Never ends!

Overwhelmed by house?

We downsized - we moved out of the city because we thought that was what we were "supposed to do", get married, have kids, buy a house. We hated it. We hated being outside of the city, we hated the house, always a project, always something to do.

We sold the house and bought a condo in Brooklyn and we are so so so much happier.

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Posted by Dolphinsbaby

I wasted last Friday sitting in the house for our annual boiler maintenance to be done. During the torrential downpour, it started drizzling a little in our back room (it was an extension put on the house years ago). Now it's $900 to fix the roof on that part. Never ends!

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Def do it! You could always buy another smaller house down the line if you find you prefer living in a house. How about selling your house and buying a small condo?

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Yeah, I think it's time for us to look into co-ops and condos.

And to learn the difference between the two - LOL!

Any insight would be greatly appreciated.

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Coop you own shares proportional to the space. Condo you own walls in. Both have boards. Both require approval before selling.
Things I would want to know how big of a reserve the building has. How often do they do maintenance? Have they ever mandated a special fee or assessment in addition to regular maintenance. How long would those fees last in addition to regular maintenance? In addition to your unit, what other ammenities are offered, and what is the maintenance schedule? When did they last put in the roof, Windows, boiler, water, trash compactor, carpeting, paint, common area and what is the schedule to maintain or replace items? How much flooring needs carpeting? Any grandfathered units that don't require carpeting? Do they allow smoking in unit? What type of ventilation and how is the water structured? How many elevators and what kind of move in out policy for reserving them? Pets or no? Older people or younger? How close to public transport? Are you above restaurants? What is their ventilation like?

Overwhelmed by house?

We owned an amazing condo in Brooklyn and sold last summer to buy a bug house on LI. I was so super excited for the big house and while I love our home and I think for our lives currently we made the right decision, I continue to tell DH that this house is a full-time job. I literally feel like we both can't possibly work full time, parent and then also take care of our home. It is never ending!!!! Plus the previous owners only lived in our home for 3 years and couldn't afford it and let everything deteriorate, so we have just been spending the past year getting things back to good working order, we don't even get to do fun things like decorating!

I constantly ask DH if he wants to move back to Brooklyn and have made it very clear that once our kids are in college or if our financial situation changes drastically we will be selling and moving into the city.

I say do what makes you happy, but you are not alone!!

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Overwhelmed by house?

I haven't owned a Coop, or Condo, so I don't have experience there, but i've owned 2 houses. I think the house experience is what you make of it.

I certainly complain at all the work that a house is, but realistically, the work that we have right now is keeping things halfway neat with our kids. All the rest can be outsourced or is optional once you get the house to a relative decent condition.
Lawn, I cut my lawn for 10 years on my own, and a many years as a kid. When kid number 2 came around I got a lawn service, so worth it for me. I actually have my Saturday morning back. there still is some trimming and stuff, planting mulching.... but that really is optional and me driving myself nuts, not necessary. We have a cleaning lady every 2 weeks, which really helps. We only are responsible for cleaning up, not scrubbing.

when we bought our second house we went and renovated it right out of the box, so mostly we're in great shape, the needs of the house aren't all that big, its just wants and stopping watching HG TV (not that you do) and thinking, wouldn't a new bathroom or patio or whatever look nice would help a lot.
Don't know the condition of your house, etc, but if you can make a big push to get the issues taken care of either yourself or by hiring someone, you can get out from under the burden. Then change your mindset a little bit about the house and enjoy life.

Not saying its the same thing as an apartment in Brooklyn, but you can get close if you get things up to snuff and hire some help.

Message edited 7/11/2017 10:54:23 AM.

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Yeah, 2 floors plus basement def sounds like a lot of space for 2 people. If you like living in a house, having a backyard, driveway for easy parking, laundry, storage, etc. maybe you can downsize to a small ranch, so you have your main living floor and the basement for storage and hanging out? I know ranch houses are hard to find in Queens but I've seen the occasional one here and there. Some areas have a lot of high-ranch style houses. And older homes have a ton of charm (I love them!) but a shit ton of maintenance.

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Yes! Last year we bought a 1700 sq ft 3 bd/2 bath expanded Ranch in Bellmore and it felt huge compared to our prior 2 bdrm house, but the feeling is now gone as we managed to pare down home improvement tasks into 2 categories: 1/must do and 2/want to do (cosmetic). The last year, our biggest projects were internal things like sanding wood floors, painting bedrooms, installing new light fixtures/chandeliers, hanging pictures/paintings, changing window shades/blinds. Exterior: we stripped and painted the deck, started the process for getting a shed built in rear yard, and waiting for contractors to give us estimates on electrifying our garage and setting a paved path between our rear deck and side garage entrance (and eventually expanding our rear porch but thats next summers project).

Its just DH and I (we are CF) and the space is perfect for us and our pets. We take 1 or 2 weekends off a month to do nothing house related (easier said than done when lawn needs mowing). The biggest chore is daily cleaning. I thought I would need to hire a cleaning service but si far DH and I have been on top of keeping each room clutter free and clean. I try to do bathrooms every week, DH is in charge of basement de-cluttering and I use a small hand held vacuum in each room when I notice things start looking dusty. I find this system is mucg more manageable than saying "ok this Sat is 'clean the entire house' day.

One thing is for sure, I could never live in a condo or co-op again. i love having the big yard, having impromptu BBQs whenever I want, having friends over and an extra guest room available, being able to sit on our front porch and not hear excessive traffic noise or nosy neighbors, and the list goes on. I love our house!

PS: I just saw the above post where you mention a drum set. With the right house, you can def keep drumming. I have a huge Steinway in our living room and play any time I want, and none of our neighbors are close enough to hear it (unless I open the windows).

Message edited 7/12/2017 2:10:32 AM.

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^^ Thanks for this. I only didn't quote it because it was long and I didn't want to clutter things up.

Good point about the yard space/spontaneous BBQs and such. We have the space now and use it for gardening and hanging with friends, and that would definitely be something we would miss. Having a terrace or balcony (more so for container plants than for social space) would be a reasonable compromise but I know we would miss a yard (albeit a postage-stamp sized Queens yard, but still)

Lots to think about. We scoped out an area last night and really liked it. People said hello on the street! I wanted to be like OMG HELLO I MAY BE YOUR NEIGHBOR SOON

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For me, most home repair/upgrades/etc is relaxing. I like having a big house, and all of the quirks and tasks of dealing with it. I just finished up a welding project today with DS because I felt like welding...

I'm not exactly "normal", though, so don't go by me...

DW would like a smaller house, but I wouldn't mind going a little bigger even.

Overwhelmed by house?

I have a 3000 SF home, just me, DH and DS and 2 dogs. Our house is huge. We have rooms with no furniture. It's just more places to put more stuff. Recently I wish we had a smaller house and I know our house will sell for 100K more than we paid. But a smaller house is going to cost me exactly what I am paying now and I don't see the benefit for it. So we will stick it out but I am definately going to make the family step up more because I am tired of doing everything.

Overwhelmed by house?

We moved from a 1 bed to a 4 bedroom house a year ago. Just DH and I and 2 cats (sound familiar!). We love it. Yes, there is to much space for us but that is OK. We are doing things but hired a cleaning person once a month, so she does the heavy cleaning..i do like 15 mins a day of cleaning so its not tough. My DH has been working outside like crazy but after this summer it should only be basic upkeep. I cant imagine going back to an appt at this time.