Overwhelmed new mommy needs help

Hi guys, this is my first post as a new mommy as I have been reall overwhelmed since arrived!

I'm having some issues and was hopeing the BTDT Moms can help me out.

1. I'm pumping/ BF'ing DS because pediatrician made me nervous that DS wasn't putting on weight quickly enough. He was born 9lb 10, left the hospital and at 9,4 next day at pediatricians office he was 9,2 mind you my milk still had not come in so pediatrician wanted to see me 2 days later. In that time DS had only gained back on oz- my milk had not even been in for 24 hours. Pediatrician wanted me to start formula- I felt it was way too soon to make that decision, and so I started pumping, which has been very successful it seems, yet very annoying since it's adding a bunch of steps to the same process, but gives me the satisfaction of knowing how many ounces he's taking.

2. I have gotten more successful in the last few days with him latching on..........BUT he's a lazy eater and he'll sometimes nurse for 45 minutes, and others for 20??? Sometimes it tkaes me 10-15 minutes to get him to latch, Is this normal. Also I have no idea when to switch boobs, sometimes when I go to switch he's fallen in to a very deep sleep and won't take the other boob. I'm driving myself nuts over all this and I just want to cry... He has plenty of wet/poopie diapers. Is it ok to nurse from only one side? Can I just pump the other?

3. Should I continue to use the pumped bottle to feed him, or can I rely totally on nursing if he's only going for short periods?

Sorry this is so long but I can't seem to get this right, and God knows hormones are kicking in- and making me cry... I feel like I'm screwing up what's supposed to be the most natural thing in thw world.

Re: Overwhelmed new mommy needs help

It maybe the most natural thing, but it does NOT come naturally.


Many babies are snackers. Joseph was one. Took forever to get him to eat. Finally I started nursing one side, pump the other. The next feeding nurse the pumped side and then put the other one. You don't want to only nurse the same breast all of the time. You need to switch back & forth.

If it were me, I would go exclusively bf'ing except for those times he's fallen asleep. Breastfeeding & pumping is very difficult - it means you're constantly tied to a baby or pump. Do you plan to nurse for long? Are you going back to work & pumping? You could start freezing the excess.

Breastfeeding is difficult to get the hang of in the beginning but it sounds like you're doing a terrific job. If he has plenty of diapers, it means he's getting enough. I think we're all a little paranoid that they aren't getting enough in the beginning. I know listening to my MIL & mom wondering if my son was losing weight drove me to the point of tears.

If you are really committed to it, there are plenty of lactation consultants or support groups (including this one)


eta. AND CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Message edited 1/9/2007 9:43:16 PM.

Re: Overwhelmed new mommy needs help

You are doing a great job! I never knew how hard BF was until I had my son, I felt the same way. I think that now that your supply is in you could stop pumping unless you want to start a freezer storage of milk. Also, I would let him nurse from one side untiil he comes off. If he is still awake offer the other side, if he falls asleep offer that side first the next feeding. I would cut the bottles out if you don't need them so that you keep the supply up too. As for the time, it's totally normal. It seemed like I was feeding my son all day at the beginning. It does get easier, but those first weeks are hard.

Re: Overwhelmed new mommy needs help

Hi..First of all take a deep breath and relax.

You are doing nothing wrong if he has gained weight and is having plenty of wet and poopie diapers. You may just have to figure out what his nursing style is and how best to make him latch on.

I had a 6pd 4 oz baby and solely breast fed which initially caused her to lose weight (my doc wasnt concerned though since it wasnt alot of weight). My mom and I would get into arguments about this saying she wasnt gaining weight yada yada. But when I took her to the doctor she was slowly gaining and was absolutely healthy.

My friends son slept somuch for the first few days home she thoght somehting was wrong and of course he lost a few OZ as a result. But then he got the hang of nursing and gained.

If I remember correctlytry to stimulate him to nurse even when sleepy and try to use both breasts. It can take them weeks to learn how to nurse properly so the key is to watch and see if he is wetting/making BM frequently.

Here's a site that may help

BREASTFEEDING

Good luck and if you need anything please FM. I nurse for almost 18 months and trust me-it takes work.

Re: Overwhelmed new mommy needs help

Well I am no doctor and I am sure everyone has their own opinion but heres mine. I say you are doing great. As long as there are several wet diapers a day, he is getting enough. I wouldn't worry about the weight loss unless it continues. DD lost 8 oz if I remember correctly. Then she started gaining slowly. I had trouble with her latching on the right side. I would just try everytime and give up, put her on the other side and pump the right. Your body will get used to his eating schedule and if you don't nurse on both sides, start with the opposite one next feeding. (unless it hurts, then pump) I think just bf'ing is fine. I only used bottles with pumped milk so FH could feed her. Then she started refusing bottles. It is a rough road but well worth it. And when all of this passes and you are on somewhat of a schedule, you will feel better. My daughter was a speed eater so it didn't take long to nurse her but I remember people saying you could spend 30-45 min. Hang in there. We're here if you need us.

Re: Overwhelmed new mommy needs help

Posted by cantbelieveit

Well I am no doctor and I am sure everyone has their own opinion but heres mine. I say you are doing great. As long as there are several wet diapers a day, he is getting enough. I wouldn't worry about the weight loss unless it continues. DD lost 8 oz if I remember correctly. Then she started gaining slowly. I had trouble with her latching on the right side. I would just try everytime and give up, put her on the other side and pump the right. Your body will get used to his eating schedule and if you don't nurse on both sides, start with the opposite one next feeding. (unless it hurts, then pump) I think just bf'ing is fine. I only used bottles with pumped milk so FH could feed her. Then she started refusing bottles. It is a rough road but well worth it. And when all of this passes and you are on somewhat of a schedule, you will feel better. My daughter was a speed eater so it didn't take long to nurse her but I remember people saying you could spend 30-45 min. Hang in there. We're here if you need us.

Re: Overwhelmed new mommy needs help

first off, congratulations! i could have written this post myself almost word for word after ds was born. babies are expected to lose weight the first few days. don't worry! it's normal to lose 5-10% of their birth weight, but by 2 weeks they should have regained and be back up to their birth weight. i would try not to start formula if you can help it. there's that whole nipple confusion debate and while some babies have no problems switching right from the start, there are those that do have trouble. i'd also save the pumped milk for later and just let him nurse. i pumped in the beginning to get my supply up, but that's because ds had jaundice and especially needed the fluids. it was a lot of work to keep up with. i think you're probably fine without pumping. it does take some time for you milk to really come in (that's partly why they are expected to lose some weight in the beginning). just keep counting the diapers and you'll know that he's getting enough.
it took me a few weeks before we got the latching thing down. sometimes it would take 20 minutes! hang in there! both you and the baby have to learn what works. i always just nursed on one side. some people do both. whatever works for you. when the baby is done on one side you can offer the other. if he doesn't want more, don't worry. just offer that side first at the next feeding. my ds was so sleepy and difficult to feed the first few weeks. there's a bunch of things you can do if you're really having trouble keeping him awake. if you need ideas let me know. good luck! and remember you're not alone! bfing is not easy nor does it come naturally. you're doing great! the first couple of weeks are the hardest not to mention the crazy hormones and lack of sleep. it's very overwhelming, but it does get easier! Congratulations again!

Re: Overwhelmed new mommy needs help

You are doing a great job. It is normal for him at this age to only BF on one side and pump the other side. I usually use those bottles for night feedings or when DH feeds him. Just start to BF from the other breast first. Some babies get all they need to eat in 5 or 10 mins on one side. It will get better. Hang in there.

Re: Overwhelmed new mommy needs help

sounds like you are doing great!

My baby was 9.7 at birth, took him home from hospital at 8.10 lbs, my milk then came in. I rented a pump, and slowly baby started gaining weight. He is now back to birth weight plus. He is the laziest eater in the world. The longest he is ever on is 20-25 minutes, he always falls asleep.

I am pumping a few times a day..my mother and DH are doing the early morning feedings.

My pediatrician told me to completely empty out one boob before switching to the other so that the baby is getting hindmilk.

Re: Overwhelmed new mommy needs help

I am having the same with ds rught now. I heard it was normal.

in fact, he's passed out nursing right now