Past Friendships

Does an old friend, someone you cared about, who hurt you terribly, still haunt you?

I had a friend for a very, very long time and once I got engaged she got cold towards my and DH. She was supposed to be my MOH, but 3 weeks before the wedding backed out entirely and never heard from her again. Didn't attend the wedding either. Yet, I find myself looking for her in a crowd or if I'm someplace new I am always looking to see if I spot her.

Has this happened to anyone else and how do you deal with it.

Re: Past Friendships

yes!

I had a friend for a long time, we met at a former job. I got him out of that crap hole and into my company (a real job), this was several years ago.

long story short, one day he just stopped talking to me. and when I would see him in the hallway at work, he would either pretend to be in deep conversation with someone or duck into the men’s room

I finally confronted him about it since his behavior came out of nowhere. just some more background... he took a former position I held with the company when I moved into another roll. one of the reasons I moved is b/c my boss was an A-HOLE to the 10th power. anyhow, when I confronted him he said that he gets along great with my former boss (his current - at the time) and that he has no interest in speaking to me anymore.

when I think back to that day, his words cut like a knife it still haunts me to this day.

Re: Past Friendships

that's terrible, especially since u have to see him at work. I'm sorry honey...that really sucks.

Re: Past Friendships

My very long term college boyfriend cheated on me with one of my closest friends (and roommate at the time!).... I actually tried to forgive her (that is my nature, I just cant harbor hatred for very long!) but she just continued to lie. I think she had major issues.

Eventually I told her I just couldnt be friends with her anymore - I couldnt trust her, everything out of her mouth was a lie. I would see her from time to time after that around campus. We still have one mutual friend so I get periodic updates on her life, and i feel bad for her - but I can't have someone that toxic involved in my life.

Clearly your friend has issues - as hard as it might be - i would try to just leave it in the past. something tells me you would be opening up yourself to all of her probs if you were to try to rekindle the friendship.

Re: Past Friendships

Posted by IluvBo

that's terrible, especially since u have to see him at work. I'm sorry honey...that really sucks.

Re: Past Friendships

yes.... all of the time.

My best friend from when I was child up until I was about 24 years old. After her wedding she just changed, I haven't seen her since. I was patient for a long time, but after she made my grandmother's death into some drama about her, I just couldn't deal and stopped answering the phone calls.

That being said, I miss the old her. I have so many memories with her and sometimes I still get the urge to dial her phone number to tell her something....she and I knew each other so well back in the day.

Re: Past Friendships

Yep. I have two friends that stopped speaking to me right before I moved to New Jersey 5 years ago.

I still dream that we see each other somewhere and make-up and then I wake up disappointed.

There are times when I fantasize about just showing up at their houses when I visit LI and saying, "Let's be friends again!"

But I'm scared they would slam the door in my face.

Re: Past Friendships

my MOH stopped talking to me the day after my wedding

then she sent me a birthday card on my birthday this year!! oh joy!

Re: Past Friendships

I actually have a male friend who all of a sudden stopped talking to me about 5 mos before my wedding. I have been friends with him since I was 12(I am now 32) I called him and he would not return my phone calls-finally I got a new cell phoen and thought let me call him. When I finally got him on the phone I got it out of him that he had problems with my DH(then my BF) Well it turned into big drama and my DH did not want him at the wedding so I haven't spoken to him since. He just got married last week. I still see his wife at events and i will be seeing him at a friend's wedding for the first time next week. I am a little nervous but also happy to just get things out and possibly move on. My DH got over it and tried to make amends(even though he hadn't done anything wrong) but did not get a response