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PiyoPika566
talk to the hand
Member since 5/05 1436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: PLEASE HELP (very long-sorry)
first off.. 
I don't have any advice to give, this is a tough situation, I know personally, once the trust is broken (in a romantic relationship), it's almost impossible to repair.
Perhaps he was telling you the truth, since the membership didn't require a fee, it was easy to just sign up. Like a post mentioned above, some newly married men go thru a phase...only they can understand.
So sorry you have to go through this! more
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Posted 2/23/06 9:13 PM  |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: PLEASE HELP (very long-sorry)
i am so sorry that you are dealing w/ this. i am sure that you have a vast araay of emotions and not sure what to believe.
it is hard for me to understand how in one conversation he claims that he doesn't recall doing this but in another conversation states that he just wanted to see what was out there. i am sure he went to some lengths to register to the sites, pay for a membership and create a profile, all the while keeping this private from you.
please don't view this as any reflection on you or your relationship but since you have been together for quite awhile and started dating at a relatively young age perhaps he felt as if he missed out on experiences that his friends had and was interested in viewing profiles of single woman to make up for these times that he never experienced . lame excuse i know but just trying to rationalize.
i don't blame you for distrusting him and losing faith. i am not sure what i would do in your situation but this is something that i would not let go of easily or perhaps ever.
Message edited 2/23/2006 9:28:46 PM.
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| Posted 2/23/06 9:18 PM |
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Liz
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 674 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: PLEASE HELP (very long-sorry)
OMG I feel so bad for you. It must have been such a shock to find something like that. You must have been sick to your stomach. I agree that only you know your relationship and if you will be able to get over something like this and if he would ever do something like this again. Maybe a counselor would help sort things out and hopefully he will be fully honest with you.
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| Posted 2/23/06 9:22 PM |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: PLEASE HELP (very long-sorry)
I'm really sorry you are going through this, I can't even imagine the emotions you are feeling. But I have to be honest, I don't think I could move past this. To me it's worse than getting drunk and sleeping with someone (I'm not saying that that wouldn't be horrific too). I say this because it was premeditated--He actually sat there and thought up a profile and went looking for something with another woman (who knows what the something was?) It's just physical cheating--it's not drunk and horny and caught up in the moment (not that I could forgive that either). Does that make sense? And the fact that his story still doesn't make total sense and you still have doubts--Not good. I don't want to judge or say what I would do because I don't think anyone knows how they'd really handle something until they are in the situation, but I'd like to think this would be an absolute dealbreaker for me. Good luck. Be strong.
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| Posted 2/23/06 9:46 PM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: PLEASE HELP (very long-sorry)
Posted by Desperateforhelp
I was able to see that he never sent or received emails, or communicated with anyone on these sites.
i reread your post and can't help but focus on this statement. not to sound negative but how do you know for 100% certainty that he did not exchange emails w/ other members? he could have easily deleted the emails and all correspondence would therefore not be available.
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| Posted 2/24/06 11:32 AM |
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andri
LIF Infant
Member since 11/05 241 total posts
Name:
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Re: PLEASE HELP (very long-sorry)
Posted by skew
Posted by Desperateforhelp
I was able to see that he never sent or received emails, or communicated with anyone on these sites.
i reread your post and can't help but focus on this statement. not to sound negative but how do you know for 100% certainty that he did not exchange emails w/ other members? he could have easily deleted the emails and all correspondence would therefore not be available.
or..he could have also been IM'ing with them. You'll never know.
First, 
Now second, you are right,you NEVER truely know anyone but your own self.
I was in a very similar situation, my Ex had the appearance & demenour of an angel. One day in the heat of an argument,I just threw out there.."so what? are you having an affair?" sorta a retorical question,or so I thought because I fully believed he's say "No."
You cannot imagine my surprise when he said "YES". 
Today I am happily remarried and love my life.
No counseling or talking could have brought back the trust for me.
In my case it went a step further,he was having a physical & conscience relationship with another women..yours says he has not. It comes down to what you actually believe & what YOU'RE willing to live with.
Edited for typo.
Message edited 2/24/2006 12:35:20 PM.
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| Posted 2/24/06 12:12 PM |
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justme1
Proud SAHM
Member since 5/05 1955 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: PLEASE HELP (very long-sorry)
So sorry your going through this..
I feel marriage counseling is great if 2 ppl admit to having problems and want to try to fix them..
In this case.. He didnt admit to anything,, he got caught, and I know I would never be able to trust him again..
Some ppl dont confess to anything unless they get caught.. I would wonder what else he was hiding that you didnt see.
I personally would start doing a little investigating on my own... I just dont see how a man who just got married ( what does it matter that it was only 3 months, you were Married) can sit and make personal dating ads and be trustworthy. He was looking to cheat. It takes time to make profiles,, its not something you do cause your bored.
Sorry if i came off abrupt.. but this is my honest feelings on it..
What would I do? I honestly dont know.. not that its the RIGHT thing to do but my obsessive side would kick in and I would be trying to find other clues to anything else that would either prove it was a one time thing or that hes still lying and theres more..
I wish you the best of luck!
Sorry again.
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| Posted 2/24/06 12:33 PM |
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