Poem I wrote when struggling today
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jess237
LIF Toddler
Member since 4/10 418 total posts
Name:
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Poem I wrote when struggling today
I wanted to share a poem that I wrote today when I had all these thoughts running through my head. I figured if anyone would understand, you guys would. Thanks for letting me share. Jess
I Want….
I want to lay my hand on my stomach and know you are safely inside.. I want to guess whether you’re a girl or a boy.. I want to fight about what your name is going to be, knowing that I am going to win because I’m your mama and you’re my baby and I get the honor.. I want to dream about our future together and the things we will do.. I want to wonder if you’ll have my curly hair and if you will look like me.. I want to go to the doctor and see you swim back and forth on the screen instead of wondering if you’ve made it another week.. I want to see how much you’ve grown rather than worry about if you grew at all.. I want my heart to soar when I hear your heart beat, instead of having it break listening to your tiny heart trying so hard to beat.. I want to listen to the strong beat instead of listening more to silence then the beating of your struggling little heart.. I want to know that you are safe inside me growing, instead of wondering if you have died in there.. I want to feel the joy of a pregnancy instead of the heartbreak of waiting for more bad news at each appointment.. I want to cry for joy, instead of crying because you refuse to give up and I can’t take another moment on the rollercoaster after four weeks of you barely hanging on.. I want my head to win out when I think about loosing you and going to the bathroom to see it.. I want the reasonable side of me to say it’s just tissue, instead of my heart telling me it was my baby.. I want to hold you safe in my arms all snuggly warm instead of just holding dreams of you in my heart.. I want March 12th to never come so I don’t have to think that was the day you were supposed to enter this world.. I want to be up in the middle of the night with you listening to you cry, mommy trying to fix it and make it all better for you.. I want to wake up and find that this was a nightmare instead of the reality that it is.. I want to be looking forward to your arrival instead of mourning you.. I want to remember you forever, to honor you because you did live for a short time inside of me.. I want you so bad, but the time wasn’t right, things weren’t meant to be for whatever reason….But I want you for always and will often think about you.. I want you here with me now and forever
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Posted 8/20/10 7:18 PM |
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MrsCJK
Thankful!
Member since 11/06 1773 total posts
Name: Cal
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Re: Poem I wrote when struggling today
Wow what a beautiful poem, everyone on this board knows exactly how you feel, it is a very very tough thing to go through but we are all here for support!
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Posted 8/20/10 9:10 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name: Me
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Re: Poem I wrote when struggling today
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Posted 8/20/10 11:54 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name: Melody
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Re: Poem I wrote when struggling today
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Posted 8/21/10 12:44 AM |
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keepingsecrets
ridiculously blessed!!
Member since 7/09 1912 total posts
Name:
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Re: Poem I wrote when struggling today
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Posted 8/21/10 8:11 AM |
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