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Do you tell/do your parents/inlaws know how much you and DH make?

Forum Opinion Poll
Yes, both sides do 19 31.15%
Yes, but just my parent(s) 10 16.39%
Yes, but just in-law(s) 2 3.28%
No, it's personal information 17 27.87%
Not sure if SO has told them but I haven't 8 13.11%
other ('cause there's always an other) 5 8.20%
 

POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

Posted By Message

Leeners
:)

Member since 5/05

4898 total posts

Name:
Eileen

POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

I just had a very *enlightening* conversation with DH, whereby he told me that he tells his dad (and I'm sure his mom, though they're divorced) how much we make and other financial information. I'll be the first to admit that I am very uncomfortable when it comes to money and finances (we never had it growing up so this has always been a weird topic with me) BUT I am pi$$ed that he would tell people MY information without finding out if it would bother me.

ANYway, I just wanted to see if I'm crazy and that's a normal thing for your parents and/or his parents to know.

TIA.

Posted 12/1/05 3:57 PM
 

MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug

Member since 5/05

11357 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

MY parents know but DHs parents do not - because they are always looking for $ from us (so is his one sister) and we're tried of it.

Posted 12/1/05 3:59 PM
 

LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here

Member since 5/05

12023 total posts

Name:
Sonia

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

both my parents and inlaws have an idea of what we make. Not to the T but they both know. I doesn't really bother us.

Posted 12/1/05 4:01 PM
 

baghag
:P

Member since 5/05

10278 total posts

Name:

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

My parents don't know how much either of us makes.

DH's mom knows his salary (he told her), but not mine. As far as I know, she has never asked.

She did fish for information once, and that PIZZED ME OFF. We were talking about real estate prices, and she commented on how we could afford a mortgage for XXX amt. I practically fall out of my chair when I told her no, it was more in the AAA range- until I realized that an answer was probably what she wanted to begin with. I walked right into it.

I'd be really mad if DH told ANYONE that info. It somehow bothers me more if it is family.

Posted 12/1/05 4:03 PM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

None of our parents are still living, but I don't think this is something I would share with them if they were. I know my parents would have preferred not to know since I know they didn't really discuss their own finances with people. I don't think it is anyone's business, and DH feels the same way.

I think as far as SILs and BILs, they may be able to guess, since we both have professional jobs, but we don't live large, so I think they would be surprised at the exact number and how much we save.

Posted 12/1/05 4:04 PM
 

LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here

Member since 5/05

12023 total posts

Name:
Sonia

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

I think w/ us it's because we;re so open with each other about financial situations that it's like a normal thing to talk about.

Posted 12/1/05 4:06 PM
 

nov04libride
big brother <3

Member since 5/05

14672 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

I've told my mom, I am not sure if DH has told his parents. I did once tell my MIL and grandmother in law that I make the same amount as DH because they were saying, oh, the male is the provider, blah, blah, blah, you can stay home when you have kids and DH can support you, and I said FYI we both make THE SAME. When we were first looking at homes and condos, MIL was picking out houses waaaayyyyy out of our range and looking at them for us. I almost screamed at that point how much do you think we make!?

Message edited 12/1/2005 4:08:11 PM.

Posted 12/1/05 4:06 PM
 

DonnaJoe708
Hello

Member since 5/05

4002 total posts

Name:

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

Posted by Leeners

I just had a very *enlightening* conversation with DH, whereby he told me that he tells his dad (and I'm sure his mom, though they're divorced) how much we make and other financial information. I'll be the first to admit that I am very uncomfortable when it comes to money and finances (we never had it growing up so this has always been a weird topic with me) BUT I am pi$$ed that he would tell people MY information without finding out if it would bother me.

ANYway, I just wanted to see if I'm crazy and that's a normal thing for your parents and/or his parents to know.

TIA.



I feel the same way as you do. My parents did not have a lot of money while I was growing up and this is a very sensitive issue with me. I don't like to discuss any finance issues with anyone other than my DH and I most certainly would never disclose any information to my parents or my in-laws. So no, I don't think you're crazy for thinking this way.

Posted 12/1/05 4:08 PM
 

leighla
Support Cancer Research

Member since 5/05

16353 total posts

Name:
Lauren

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

My MIL is our accountant. She knows. My parents have a general idea.

I don't see why it would be a secret from them. I don't tell others though.

Posted 12/1/05 4:09 PM
 

Ali
LIF Adolescent

Member since 6/05

573 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

Not only do both sets of our parents know, so does anyone and everyone else who cares to find out. My DH and I are lawyers at big NYC firms and our salaries and bonuses are published every year.

Posted 12/1/05 4:09 PM
 

Leeners
:)

Member since 5/05

4898 total posts

Name:
Eileen

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

Posted by baghag
It somehow bothers me more if it is family.



ME TOO!!! Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/05 4:18 PM
 

MrsProfessor
hi

Member since 5/05

14279 total posts

Name:

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

I don't talk specifics, and neither does DH, but I know both sets of parents have an idea.

Posted 12/1/05 4:35 PM
 

tourist

Member since 5/05

10425 total posts

Name:

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

Interesting question. I used to mention it to my parents when I'd get a raise or wa slookignfor an apartment or something, but I don't think I've told them what DH makes. I don't know if his parents know what he makes.


I don't mind talking money with my parents, but I do feel I should tell them his, unless he says its ok. I'm not usually weird about moeny, but I wouldn't want his parents to know how much I make, but if they don't know how much DH makes, I think I'd be ok, just telling them a combined total, if it came up, say as we were applying for a mortgage or something.



Message edited 12/1/2005 4:48:05 PM.

Posted 12/1/05 4:45 PM
 

LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here

Member since 5/05

12023 total posts

Name:
Sonia

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?


I don't mind talking money with my parents, but I do feel I should tell them his, unless he says its ok. I'm not usually weird about moeny, but I wouldn't want his parents to know how much I make, but if they don't know how much DH makes, I think I'd be ok, just telling them a combined total, if it came up, say as we were applying for a mortgage or something.






I agree I wouldn't tell them unless DH is ok w/ it.

Posted 12/1/05 4:53 PM
 

octoberbride
Big sister to be!

Member since 11/05

2174 total posts

Name:

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

My FIL does our taxes, so his parents know.
My parents know approximate amounts too.

Posted 12/1/05 5:16 PM
 

Redhead
You Live, You Learn

Member since 5/05

31871 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

Yes they have a good idea since i work at the same place as my mom and you are highered in a specific grade level...And my mom knows my grade level....

DH's dad is his supervisor..

Posted 12/1/05 5:19 PM
 

-Laurie-
Hi!

Member since 5/05

2536 total posts

Name:

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

Yes but not from us. There are military pay scales available on the internet and they know Dh's rank.

Posted 12/1/05 5:32 PM
 

MommyofG
just the girls

Member since 5/05

9461 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

Posted by LadyLainez

both my parents and inlaws have an idea of what we make. Not to the T but they both know. I doesn't really bother us.

same here

Posted 12/1/05 5:53 PM
 

baghag
:P

Member since 5/05

10278 total posts

Name:

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

Posted by Leeners

Posted by baghag
It somehow bothers me more if it is family.



ME TOO!!! Chat Icon



You know why?

An acquaintance may judge you by how much you earn.

A family member will judge how high a loan they are going to ask of you. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 12/1/05 6:23 PM
 

PiyoPika566
talk to the hand

Member since 5/05

1436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

my mom knows how much FH and I make, and I just asked FH if his parents know how much we make... they don't, but even if they do it won't bother me.. they know it's personal information and they won't share it with other family members.

Posted 12/1/05 6:55 PM
 

Jax430
Hi!

Member since 5/05

18919 total posts

Name:
Jackie

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

DH's dad is our accountant, so yes!

Posted 12/1/05 7:00 PM
 

saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!

Member since 5/05

16555 total posts

Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

i voted other - i know my mom knows both our salaries, she does our taxes.

my fmil or ffil does not know my salary.

Posted 12/1/05 7:00 PM
 

suvenR
designer mutt

Member since 5/05

4239 total posts

Name:

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

They both have an approximation- probably within $5,000 of each of our salaries.

Posted 12/1/05 7:47 PM
 

skew
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

6794 total posts

Name:

Re: POLL: Do your parents and/or your inlaws know how much you and your SO make?

my parents do but not his

Posted 12/1/05 8:13 PM
 
 

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