Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

I want to host a big dinner a few months down the road. This would include my extended family and DH's. Now, DH has an uncle C, who is an uncle thru marriage (not sure that's important, but I'll throw it in there.) And when I brought the idea of dinner up with FIL, he said that I have to invite uncle C's mother, who is widowed.

I thought it was nervy of FIL to TELL me who to invite to MY house for dinner, but now I can't decide if he's right. Thing is, if C's mother is invited, that opens up a whole other can of beans to invite the rest of C's extended family, which I don't think is fair to me.

What do you think? Please take my poll

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

did your FIL say why he feels you should invite the uncle's mother? I swear - sometimes families really complicate the simplest of things

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

If C's mother is generally included in family gatherings, I think it would be nice to include her. I don't think this would obligate you to invite everyone else in his family.

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

Posted by SweetestOfPeas

did your FIL say why he feels you should invite the uncle's mother? I swear - sometimes families really complicate the simplest of things

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

Do what you want to. If she's at most family gatherings, than yeah, you should probably invite her, but if it was a random request from FIL, then it's up to you to decide if you want her there or not.

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

No, you don't have to invite her. Uncle c's mother is not related to you. Eff off to your FIL, it's not like we're talking about Aunt C's mother, then that would be family!!!!!

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

Of course you don't HAVE to invite anyone that you don't want to invite to your own home. Honestly though, you should have addressed it immediately when he brought it up. You should have just said that you've decided on your guest list and you don't plan to expand it, but maybe next time. At this point, I wouldn't bring it up again...if he brings it up down the road when you actually do the inviting, address it then.

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

You don't have to invite her...she's not even really related to you...and especially if you're not close with her...why do you have to invite her to YOUR house?????

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

This is why I never announce my plans or intentions to most people. I just do what I want...and may the cards fall where they will.

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

Im gonna go against the tide here.
OF COURSE EVERY situation is different and it varies case by case and Id have to hear "the whole story" to really give an opinion.
But for example, overall, I consider myself much more in touch with my family ties than my hubby. Keeping in touch with family, inviting them over even for a kiddie party, just so they have coffee with my parents and reminisce when we grew up,etc.
my hubby sees these things as "Why would that person want to come to a kiddie party?" (but they come and they love to come).

So thats just an example.

Also a while back my SIL wanted to keep her party small (my nephews partY) and she wanted to invite a few people, but we did say "but you HAVE TO INVITE XYZ!!!"
and she did take the same exact position as you, and looking back of course she had a right. but my brother's family ties (these are VERY close to him/us) should be respected as much as hers. and my brother is just not one to make waves or get confrontational, so we were quite shocked that he was ok with her not asking these people to come.
but looking back, it was a bit disrespectful that they werent invited. They gave my nephew a gift a week later, thinking they didnt celebrate and nothing was brought up

does this make sense?
I guess it would be up to your hubby and how he feels about it. not just for this party, but for going forward.

good luck, I didnt mean to take sides or go against you, but thats my honest take on this.

Message edited 4/3/2007 9:47:30 PM.

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

Why does your FIL think you have to invite the uncle's mom?

Re: Poll: Inviting people to dinner -- opinions please

If she's usually invited to family events, I'd invite her. I completely understand your logic, and no, you shouldn't HAVE to invite anyone you don't want to, but if having one more person will keep the peace, IMO, it's worth it.