Post-partum Visitors (inc. Moms and MILs)

How did you guys deal with well-meaning people who want to stay with you after your baby was born?

We invited my mom to stay with us for a week after my son's birth. Well, she took 3 weeks vacation and assumed we'd want her here for all of that time.

While I'm very grateful for her help and for her wanting to be involved in my son's life, I know I will want to be alone with him and my husband at some point.

How did you tell people that you need time alone?

Re: Post-partum Visitors (inc. Moms and MILs)

Well, we had my Mom and My MIL and FIL with us for two weeks after the baby was born and we loved it. That said, when we were deciding what we wanted before the babies were born we told them all we weren't sure we wanted visitors right away or for how long, that we loved them very much but might want a little "family time" first. They were all very respectful. When we invited them all to be her for the birth and to stay at the house for the first two weeks, they were really excited. But, I think any one who has been a parent has to understand that you and your DH might want alone time with your new family. I would be honest.

Re: Post-partum Visitors (inc. Moms and MILs)

None of my family lives on LI, so my mom & sister were here when we came home from the hospital, but only for 2 nights. It was a big help those days, when I had no idea what I was doing and was still getting 'back on my feet'. My mom had wanted to stay 2 weeks I think, but I asked that maybe she stay for a few days at first, then come back a week or two later for longer, so that it could just be me, DH & DD for a little while. She understood, and was a great help when she came back.

Do what you think is best, I'm sure others will understand!

Re: Post-partum Visitors (inc. Moms and MILs)

Re: Post-partum Visitors (inc. Moms and MILs)

We didnt have anyone stay with us for extended periods. I delegated my DH to tell people "look, we appreciate the gesture, but really, jen needs to be alone!!"

Re: Post-partum Visitors (inc. Moms and MILs)

I was positive that i didn't want anyone with us in the beginning b/c i felt my dh and i needed to bond with the baby - luckily my dh told me no way - if they want to come, they can come. my parents are staying for a month and his mom left today after staying for a week. i thought it would be terrible, but they've helped more than i could imagine. it has been nice not having to cook or clean as they've done it all. as my husband says - we'll have 18 yrs w/him by ourselves, what's 1 month of sharing.

anyway, i digress...if u really feel uncomfortable, say something. i'm glad i was overruled b/c i appreciate their help so much now!

Re: Post-partum Visitors (inc. Moms and MILs)

For me I was focused on getting help for as long as possible, and trying to avoid overlap. So the first two weeks while DH had paternity leave it was just us (other than a visit to the hospital and to see us home). When he went back to work my mom came for a week, and then his mom came. If your husband has paternity leave thats a really easy explanation without hurting any feelings.