Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

I'm so angry at him and I know that's not the best state to be in when handling situations like this.

He's fully potty trained for #1, will even wake up dry from both his naps and overnight, and he will poop on the potty every once in awhile so I know he can do it and we give him HUGE praises/rewards/special treats when he does that.

But even after he's used the toilet for #1, he will still poop his pants. I had been keeping him in Pull-Ups throughout this time because I thought it'd be easier clean up for me (selfish, I know). Well, for the past two weeks I've been telling him there are no more Pull-ups and if he poops his pants, it's going to feel icky/gross/dirty but I don't think he really cares. He just comes to me after he's pooped and says, "I need to poop on the potty", I get so excited and rush him to the bathroom and find he's already filled his pants.

I've been taking away special privileges when this happens (no TV, fewer bedtime stories, no after-dinner snacks, no favorite loveys at bedtime, etc) but that technique is obviously not working. Any BTDT advice? TIA.

Re: Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

Honestly, this is just the way it is for a lot of kids. When I trained my DD she pooped in her pants for a month.. and from the BTDT that I asked here, I was pretty lucky.

I know it's gross, frustrating and infuriating, but I don't think taking things away from him is going to help. Poop is scary for kids. It's a much bigger deal to them than peeing. I don't really get it, but I heard about kids and their poop issues years and years before I had kids so all I can do is accept it.

If he's telling you after he goes I would praise and reward him for that because at least he knows to come to you. I would probably say something like "it's great that you came to me and told me when you were finished. Let's see if next time you can come to me right before you start.."

This is truly the WORST part of potty training IMO. I have a 15 month old DS in diapers right now, and he's in the larges size diaper they make, so I'm probably going to potty train him sooner rather than later... and I'm not looking forward to the poop issues.

Message edited 10/14/2011 4:10:32 PM.

Re: Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

Have you tried getting a little potty? Ds had some trouble getting in a comfortable position to poop on the big potty. Not to be tmi but if the poop was right there and soft he could go easily but if he had to push it out he needed to have his knees up higher then the big potty allowed so he could bear down (sorry for being so graphic)

Re: Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

Re: Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

My ds just turned 3 and he refuses to poop on potty. He won't poop in the underwear last time we tried he held it in for almost 3 days and told he his stomach hurt. I put the diaper on and he pooped. I decided to hold off bc I am worried about him holding it in. I know it is so beyond frustrating !!!

Re: Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

i'm in the same boat with my DD! We just discussed how we are going to the store tomorrow to get stuff to make a "poopy chart". When she does 5 poopies on the potty (with no accidents) she gets to go to chucke cheese. but if she does a poopy and gets a sticker on the chart and then has an accident we will take the sticker away. I'm really at my wits end with this too but i'm giving the whole chart thing another try! i'll let you know how it goes!!!

Re: Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

My son was pee trained about 4 full months before he pooped on the potty. I threw out tons of underwear. I know it's frustrating but don't get mad at him and I don't think you should take things away from him. He will do it when he's ready.

Re: Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I need to work on my patience and try to get through this. I know he's not happy, either, when it happens.
My next approach is going to be asking him every 20-30min if he has to go #2 and putting him on the potty -- hopefully this will encourage him to do it on the potty instead of in his pants, but I'm going to stop taking privileges away if/when he does it in his pants -- that's surely not working for us.
Thx again.

Re: Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

Does he go at a particular time of day? My son used to always go in the morning, and then before bed. I always tried to catch it. It never worked unfortunately. UGH! I totally feel for you, so many of us have been there.

Re: Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

No advice but lost of sympathy...

DS has been potty trained for almost 1 year (yes you read that right) but he will not, I repeat will NOT go #2 on the potty. He doenst have accidents though. He comes to me and asks if he has a pull up on, if he has to go to poop we put one on and he will do his business.

I have offered him countless bribes..
A new water table
A DS
Any THomas the train toy he wants...

We havent been to chuck E Cheese since DECEMBER because I told him no more CEC until he does poops on the potty.

I have tried tough love, holding him on the potty while he cried (we only did this 1x and he held in the poop)

Taking away things never worked....
Charts were great for pee pee training but he has no interest for going #2.
I have tried the guilt route
THe you're not a big boy route
I will say I have even begged

My ped says sometimes it just takes time...DS is promising to do it when he is 4....I told him I will no longer change his "diapers" when he is four so he will have to do something by then!

Re: Potty training 3.5yo DS --- he keeps doing #2 in his pants

I could have written this word for word with my oldest son, now 4 yrs old. We literally tried everything. Unfortunately nothing we did worked BUT it did just "click" one day for him. I wish I could offer more advice as I know how frustrating it is. Are any of his friends his age fully potty trained? Maybe you can use what they do as examples i.e. Don't you want to use the potty like your friends? Big boys/big girls use the potty, can you do that, too?