Question about Black Ops...and parenting

So I went with my almost 12 year old son to TRU the other day.

He plays Minecraft on the Xbox with his friends all the time. He LOVES that game.

Now he says kids are "ditching" him to play Black Ops.

I know NOTHING about that game and asked the TRU worker to tell me about it. He said there is blood, gore and cursing.

My son has played the game at a friend's house on mute. LOL!

Now he is chatting on his headset with a friend and playing Minecraft. He said "my mom said I can't get Black Ops cause it has cursing. Maybe I can get it when I'm 16".

I love that he is understanding of why I said I won't allow him to buy it (even with his own money). He didn't even try to convince me that I should.

My question is, how long do I shelter him from this? He is going to Middle School in a year. I hear how some of the boys speak. Though my son is truly opposed to bad language and will CORRECT his friends when they use bad words, he does KNOW the words. I mean...he's almost 12.

Do I stick to my guns and not purchase the game? Or do I let him out of the bubble a little and let him play the game every single child in 6th grade is playing? I am NEVER the parent that just lets my child do what other kids are doing. But in this case, I am wavering.

To the BTDT parents, or for those of you with the game...I need advice.

Thanks!

Re: Question about Black Ops...and parenting

I would stick to your guns and prevent him as long as possible from getting the game. I understand it is hard, but I think you are teaching him a better lesson.

Good Luck

Re: Question about Black Ops...and parenting

Stick to your guns.

My 9 year old son's friends play it but he isn't allowed to have it (among other violent games) and I refuse to cave. I know he plays it at other kids' houses, but I feel that having it in my house (no matter who bought it) sends the message that I'm okay with violence, and in the case of other games, sex in video games.

The cursing I can kind of look past because my husband, even when censored) has a horrendous vocabulary. My kids know that with offensive language we follow the "do as I say, not what I do" rule.

Re: Question about Black Ops...and parenting

If it makes you feel better, BlackOPs is rated M - 17 & up, so it's like a rated R movie. It's not unusual to say no to that for an 11 year old.

Re: Question about Black Ops...and parenting

Re: Question about Black Ops...and parenting

Thanks, Ladies.

I tell you...as they get older, it's so hard to be "THAT" parent.

And other moms who I thought were on the same page as me, let their kids do things I would NEVER allow. Such as playing these types of games; roaming around the neighborhood; staying at friends' houses till 11:30 at night!

I don't want to ostracise my son from his peers, but I don't want to allow him to do things against my better judgement either.

It is very hard to "let go", but on the same hand...it is very hard to "hold on tight".

God...give me back the baby/ toddler years ANY DAY!

Question about Black Ops...and parenting

I had this conversation with my friends who have older kids, my guy is still little. I do not plan on having these types of games in my house, maybe ever. The gratuitous violence really bothers me. They were telling me "Yeah, good luck with that." My response was that I am not naive, I know he will play them at friend's houses and I can't control that. I can control what goes on in my own house. If the rating is 17+, then we will have a discussion when he is 17. before that, I say no way. I hope I can stick to it as he gets older, but since my DH is even more against them than I am, I think we have a good chance.

Re: Question about Black Ops...and parenting

We don't have it. Same as Grand Theft Auto.

He can play at other friend's houses but that's the extent of it. There are plenty of other games he can play.

His friends cannot bring the game to play here.

Re: Question about Black Ops...and parenting

My parents were 'those' parents, and we were never allowed to do things or have things just because other kids had them. We didn't have cable, an answering machine, Nintendo, weren't allowed to curse or play violent games. We had friends that didn't understand at the time and just knew that our parents were strict. Now, those same friends have told me that they try to raise their kids like my parents raised us because they now see my parents did right by us having boundaries and rules.

So I say do not give in, it's ok to be 'that' parent. And if your kid already gets what you're trying to instill in him and can stick up for himself against friends, good for him! You're teaching him two lessons in one.