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lpg21
LIF Infant
Member since 9/21 342 total posts
Name:
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Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
So a friend of mine's boyfriend reached out to me to tell me that he is planning on proposing to my friend and wanted to invite me and DH to a post-engagement dinner, as he would like for all of her family and close friends to celebrate after. I am not really sure how this works, should I assume we are all paying for the dinner? Should I be showing up with a gift?
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Posted 5/20/22 12:20 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
I don’t think I’d bring a gift to something like this.
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| Posted 5/20/22 12:56 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
DH did this after we got engaged. He invited about 10 people. He paid for dinner and no one brought a gift.
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| Posted 5/20/22 1:18 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
i've never been to something like this... but my impression would be:
* no gift
* assume i'm paying for my own dinner.
if he, or her parents, pay you'll be happily surprised instead of pissed off to find out you have to pay your own way.
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| Posted 5/20/22 1:46 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by MarathonKnitter
i've never been to something like this... but my impression would be:
* no gift
* assume i'm paying for my own dinner.
if he, or her parents, pay you'll be happily surprised instead of pissed off to find out you have to pay your own way.
I agree with this.
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| Posted 5/20/22 2:14 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by nycbuslady
Posted by MarathonKnitter
i've never been to something like this... but my impression would be:
* no gift
* assume i'm paying for my own dinner.
if he, or her parents, pay you'll be happily surprised instead of pissed off to find out you have to pay your own way.
I agree with this.
Me too.
Maybe a bottle of champagne if you don’t want to show up empty handed.
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| Posted 5/21/22 7:22 AM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
I would expect to pay for my own dinner. As far as a gift a nice bottle of champagne or wine would be perfect.
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| Posted 5/21/22 9:15 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
I would expect to pay for my own dinner if not everyone chip in and the newly engaged couple doesn’t pay (like for birthday dinners) and no gift needed but I’d personally bring a little something. Maybe something with their names and the date of their engagement - picture frame, ornament, little plaque, kitchen trivet, etc.
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| Posted 5/21/22 11:41 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
This is akin to an engagement party. So yes I would bring a gift.
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| Posted 5/22/22 2:55 PM |
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
I'd bring a little something as a gift and expect to pay for my own dinner.
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| Posted 5/23/22 9:46 AM |
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mrsrainbow
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 1465 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
I'd bring a congratulatory card but thats it.
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| Posted 5/23/22 10:21 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
If someone was inviting me to dinner, I wouldn't expect to pay but I guess it's how he worded it to you.
Regardless, I would bring something. Maybe a ring holder or bridal magazine or something small.
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| Posted 5/23/22 11:53 AM |
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noni882
LIF Toddler
Member since 7/06 378 total posts
Name:
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Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
I've been to a few of these types of dinners when we waited at the restaurant right after the couple got engaged and then surprised the,
Each time the groom paid for the meal.
I typically picked up a few bride magazines and a bottle of champagne but nothing big.
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| Posted 5/23/22 3:49 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
The key words from your post are "wanted to invite mea and DH to a post engagement dinner". That to me says he's paying as he is inviting you.
If you want to bring a small token like a frame or bottle of champagne that would be fine but not necessary
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| Posted 5/23/22 4:07 PM |
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RomeyT
LIF Infant
Member since 1/21 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by NervousNell
The key words from your post are "wanted to invite mea and DH to a post engagement dinner". That to me says he's paying as he is inviting you.
If you want to bring a small token like a frame or bottle of champagne that would be fine but not necessary
I agree with this. If I’m invited I am a guest. It’s good to be prepared to pay but I would think it was a bit tacky if I was given a bill at the end. A bottle of champagne would be thoughtful.
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| Posted 5/24/22 1:16 PM |
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by NervousNell
The key words from your post are "wanted to invite mea and DH to a post engagement dinner". That to me says he's paying as he is inviting you.
If you want to bring a small token like a frame or bottle of champagne that would be fine but not necessary
I agree with this. If I’m invited I am a guest. It’s good to be prepared to pay but I would think it was a bit tacky if I was given a bill at the end. A bottle of champagne would be thoughtful.
Agreed. I never heard of this but I got engaged in the 90's and you did things low key and didn't have social media to try and up one.
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| Posted 5/24/22 1:20 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by NervousNell
The key words from your post are "wanted to invite mea and DH to a post engagement dinner". That to me says he's paying as he is inviting you.
If you want to bring a small token like a frame or bottle of champagne that would be fine but not necessary
I agree with this. If I’m invited I am a guest. It’s good to be prepared to pay but I would think it was a bit tacky if I was given a bill at the end. A bottle of champagne would be thoughtful.
Agreed. I never heard of this but I got engaged in the 90's and you did things low key and didn't have social media to try and up one.
I agree but a few years ago, I traveled for a friend's b-day celebration and was handed a check at the end of the dinner. I was shocked, as I had paid for a flight to get there and all...
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| Posted 5/24/22 1:25 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by ali120206
I agree but a few years ago, I traveled for a friend's b-day celebration and was handed a check at the end of the dinner. I was shocked, as I had paid for a flight to get there and all...
Wow! That's awful!
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| Posted 5/24/22 1:45 PM |
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lpg21
LIF Infant
Member since 9/21 342 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Thanks all. DH seems to think we will be paying for this, he thinks there is no way he is going to be able to afford to pay 1k plus for dinner (especially if he is inviting all her family and friends, my understanding is she comes from a large family).
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| Posted 5/24/22 2:01 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by lpg21
Thanks all. DH seems to think we will be paying for this, he thinks there is no way he is going to be able to afford to pay 1k plus for dinner (especially if he is inviting all her family and friends, my understanding is she comes from a large family).
Why would he be under the impression that you are going to have to pay for everyone's meal? I would expect to pay for your own (maybe), but not everyone else's. That would be weird.
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| Posted 5/24/22 3:10 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by lpg21
Thanks all. DH seems to think we will be paying for this, he thinks there is no way he is going to be able to afford to pay 1k plus for dinner (especially if he is inviting all her family and friends, my understanding is she comes from a large family).
Why would he be under the impression that you are going to have to pay for everyone's meal? I would expect to pay for your own (maybe), but not everyone else's. That would be weird.
I think she meant there is no way the groom to be is going to be able to afford to pay for everyone's meal so her DH is thinking everyone will have to pay for their own meal
That's how I read it at least
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| Posted 5/24/22 3:55 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by lpg21
Thanks all. DH seems to think we will be paying for this, he thinks there is no way he is going to be able to afford to pay 1k plus for dinner (especially if he is inviting all her family and friends, my understanding is she comes from a large family).
Why would he be under the impression that you are going to have to pay for everyone's meal? I would expect to pay for your own (maybe), but not everyone else's. That would be weird.
I think she meant there is no way the groom to be is going to be able to afford to pay for everyone's meal so her DH is thinking everyone will have to pay for their own meal
That's how I read it at least
Me too. We’ve been invited to these types of dinners and they were always limited to immediate family and very close friends because the proposals were a surprise. No one brought gifts and in one instance the groom to be paid and in the other instance the parents paid. Neither dinner was akin to an engagement party.
If this is as big of a shindig as you’re making it sound I hope your friend says yes or this guy is going to be mortified!
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| Posted 5/24/22 4:04 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by lpg21
Thanks all. DH seems to think we will be paying for this, he thinks there is no way he is going to be able to afford to pay 1k plus for dinner (especially if he is inviting all her family and friends, my understanding is she comes from a large family).
Why would he be under the impression that you are going to have to pay for everyone's meal? I would expect to pay for your own (maybe), but not everyone else's. That would be weird.
I think she meant there is no way the groom to be is going to be able to afford to pay for everyone's meal so her DH is thinking everyone will have to pay for their own meal
That's how I read it at least
Oh yes! Completely read that wrong!
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| Posted 5/24/22 5:32 PM |
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lpg21
LIF Infant
Member since 9/21 342 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by lpg21
Thanks all. DH seems to think we will be paying for this, he thinks there is no way he is going to be able to afford to pay 1k plus for dinner (especially if he is inviting all her family and friends, my understanding is she comes from a large family).
Why would he be under the impression that you are going to have to pay for everyone's meal? I would expect to pay for your own (maybe), but not everyone else's. That would be weird.
I think she meant there is no way the groom to be is going to be able to afford to pay for everyone's meal so her DH is thinking everyone will have to pay for their own meal
That's how I read it at least
Oh yes! Completely read that wrong!
Yep that's what I meant lol.
Message edited 5/25/2022 11:28:18 AM.
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| Posted 5/25/22 11:27 AM |
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soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3
Member since 4/15 3635 total posts
Name:
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Question about gifts for a post engagement dinner
Is this the same as an engagement party? If yes, I’m assuming it’ll be covered and paid for, so I’d just bring a gift. If not, I’d assume the same, it’s a celebration not just a regular dinner.
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| Posted 5/25/22 12:03 PM |
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