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EtWaFM
LIF Infant
Member since 8/06 178 total posts
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
First off, I am a December birthday, started school at age 4, and was top of my class, very successful in school. Like a previous poster, I was shy, but this would have persisted if I was the oldest, too. My brother, who has a November birthday, was very outgoing, so I think it is more personality than birthday.
I understand your concerns about adolescence- but I'm not sure how holding him back or not will influence it either way. Some kids hit puberty at age 9, some at 14, it doesn't matter what grade they are in. If he is in puberty later than his peers, if anything that will probably protect him from STDs, if you know what I mean. If he is younger than his peers, he will have more time in high school not driving, depending on parents and friends for rides, and you will have more control over knowing his whereabouts. If he is one of the oldest, that may make him less susceptible to peer pressure as you presume, or it may make him one of the risk takers because he is with younger kids. My point is, you just don't know what is going to happen in the teenage years, but I think it has more to do with personality than being the oldest/youngest in the grade.
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Posted 1/20/11 3:14 PM  |
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ReiRei13
Life is Good!!
Member since 1/08 6460 total posts
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Personally, I would hold him back. He will be in a classroom with children who are turning 6 the following week. There is a HUMONGOUS difference between a 4 year old and a 6 year old. HUGE.
ITA!! If it were my son, I'd hold him back! As a teacher, I have noticed that those who are older & more mature have a better chance at being successful!
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| Posted 1/20/11 3:17 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
Posted by EtWaFM
First off, I am a December birthday, started school at age 4, and was top of my class, very successful in school. Like a previous poster, I was shy, but this would have persisted if I was the oldest, too. My brother, who has a November birthday, was very outgoing, so I think it is more personality than birthday.
I understand your concerns about adolescence- but I'm not sure how holding him back or not will influence it either way. Some kids hit puberty at age 9, some at 14, it doesn't matter what grade they are in. If he is in puberty later than his peers, if anything that will probably protect him from STDs, if you know what I mean. If he is younger than his peers, he will have more time in high school not driving, depending on parents and friends for rides, and you will have more control over knowing his whereabouts. If he is one of the oldest, that may make him less susceptible to peer pressure as you presume, or it may make him one of the risk takers because he is with younger kids. My point is, you just don't know what is going to happen in the teenage years, but I think it has more to do with personality than being the oldest/youngest in the grade.
Wow. You bring up such excellent points and I think you hit the nail on the head!
In addition, when I was growing up, whenever a child in our class was "older" than the rest, we automatically knew the child was held back (not by choice).
So for me, if I voluntarily held my DC back, I would be concerned that some people might assume (when learning my child's age) that they were "involuntarily" held back. I know it's more common now but could a child voluntarily held back be stigmatized as a child involuntarily held back? KWIM? Just another thought.
Message edited 1/20/2011 3:44:36 PM.
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| Posted 1/20/11 3:40 PM |
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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
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Mommy
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
You said it, you think he will excel in kindergarten so that's where he belongs. Once the teenage years hit, a month or two won't make a huge difference in terms of behavior or whatever it is you are worried about. I am late October and I never had an issue in school, if anything I felt bad for the kids who were the oldest, those with January/Feb birthdays.
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| Posted 1/20/11 3:44 PM |
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snowprincess
My happy babies
Member since 3/06 3428 total posts
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
Posted by Goobster
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Personally, I would hold him back. He will be in a classroom with children who are turning 6 the following week. There is a HUMONGOUS difference between a 4 year old and a 6 year old. HUGE.
I am a firm believer that NYS needs to change the cut offs across the board, make it a statewide thing, not a district thing, and that it should be September 1. As a former teacher, I firmly feel that each child walking into a kindergarten classroom should already be 5 years old. My oldest is a Sept. baby, and had he been born in October or later, he would have been held back.
However, its your decision, you know your child best.
Wow. I never knew there was such a trend to hold back.
I really didn't know people had a choice on the matter. I didn't realize you can hold back your DC voluntarily. But by doing so it really creates a much larger gap in the classroom setting, what was less than one year for your DC is now 1.5 years over another child. That doesn't seem right to me.
No flames please. Just my thoughts. I think if the school system is going to allow this, they should come up with a different cutoff date to even things out better so people dont keep holding their kids back, further widening the age differences in a class.
some districts do penalize in a way if they have universal pre-K - i know in the sachem district if your child meets the cut off for Kindergarten you can get into universal pre-K
my cousin's daughter is a late nov birthday - she is her 4th and she was just not ready socially so my cousin held her back and this year in K she is doing very well - she did not have a very good attention span or ability to listen well and follow directions well
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| Posted 1/20/11 3:55 PM |
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laurabora
LIF Adult
Member since 4/07 2712 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
DS2 was born November 3rd and we're in a 12/1 cut-off district. I always took a wait and see approach and said I'd listen to what his teachers in preschool had to say.
I ended up putting him in kindergarten on schedule because he is very bright, loves learning and has tons of friends in school. At his kindergarten parent teacher conference in December his teacher assured me that I absolutely did the right thing not holding him back.
I think it all depends on your individual child...my DS1 is a May baby and I don't even think he was as ready for K as his November baby brother.
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| Posted 1/20/11 8:56 PM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
If the pre-k teacher thinks he's good, do not delay him.
Genevieve's bday is 11/19. I did not hold her back but I did worry a bit about her keeping up. At her first parent-teacher conference in November, her teacher said she was at the head of the class.
I was born 11/23 and was in half accelerated classes.
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| Posted 1/20/11 9:08 PM |
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sydniesmom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/08 700 total posts
Name:
susan
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
After reading all that you have going on I personally would send him to Kindergarten. Even more importantly, his teacher thinks he is ready, so why not. I am sure he will do just great. GL
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| Posted 1/20/11 9:14 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
I struggle with this too ALOT. DD is in pre-k now but has a 10/22 birthday. in NJ, most districts are 10/1 cut off but mine is the only one I know of that's 12/1. So per that date, DD will go to K next year. She seems so young to me, but I am in touch with her teacher constantly and value her opinion most. At our last conference she told me that she is totally in the middle of the class- not the top, not the bottom and that as of now, she would keep her at the current grade and put her in K. Btu she said not to make any decisions until May. Let's see where she is then, and that's what we'll do. I was always the youngest and everyone knew I was teh youngest, but I don't think I really felt wierd about it. If anything, I worry that having a girl who's older than the other kids, means she will be alot bigger and that kids would make fun of her for that. But then again, kids can find anything to make fun of someone for. It's such a HARD decision. 
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| Posted 1/20/11 11:47 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
Posted by Goobster
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Personally, I would hold him back. He will be in a classroom with children who are turning 6 the following week. There is a HUMONGOUS difference between a 4 year old and a 6 year old. HUGE.
I am a firm believer that NYS needs to change the cut offs across the board, make it a statewide thing, not a district thing, and that it should be September 1. As a former teacher, I firmly feel that each child walking into a kindergarten classroom should already be 5 years old. My oldest is a Sept. baby, and had he been born in October or later, he would have been held back.
However, its your decision, you know your child best.
Wow. I never knew there was such a trend to hold back.
I really didn't know people had a choice on the matter. I didn't realize you can hold back your DC voluntarily. But by doing so it really creates a much larger gap in the classroom setting, what was less than one year for your DC is now 1.5 years over another child. That doesn't seem right to me.
No flames please. Just my thoughts. I think if the school system is going to allow this, they should come up with a different cutoff date to even things out better so people dont keep holding their kids back, further widening the age differences in a class.
There is a HUGE trend now. My DS is born the end of Aug. and I have heard repeatedly that he will be one of the youngest in his class b/c of this. Not only is it a trend but, in some of the more affluent areas there is a ton of peer pressure to do so. Especially for boys. The parents are all convinced that the boys need to be bigger and more mature to be better in sports and therefore more successful in life  I am NOT kidding. Also, for the girls, maturity wise I have heard of girls being picked on b/c they were so much younger and less mature than the others in their class. There is a HUGE difference IMO b/w a child over a year older at that age. Their attention span is much shorter often and leads to teachers thinking there is a problem when sometimes it is just maturity.
Personally, I don't agree with. I am an end of year baby and always was at the top of my class every step of the way. I was very against this when I first heard of it. Luckily, I don't have a child near the cut-off b/c now I am actually unsure of what I would do.
But, to the OP - if your teachers are telling you to put him in K - I would. From what I hear the teachers are often on the opp end so, they must be confident your DS will be a-ok
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| Posted 1/21/11 2:33 AM |
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Diana712
RIP my beloved Brother Richard
Member since 5/07 6710 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
Posted by MrsGmomof3
Personally, I would hold him back. He will be in a classroom with children who are turning 6 the following week. There is a HUMONGOUS difference between a 4 year old and a 6 year old. HUGE.
I am a firm believer that NYS needs to change the cut offs across the board, make it a statewide thing, not a district thing, and that it should be September 1. As a former teacher, I firmly feel that each child walking into a kindergarten classroom should already be 5 years old. My oldest is a Sept. baby, and had he been born in October or later, he would have been held back.
However, its your decision, you know your child best.
This scares me ! 6 is a huge gap.. If thats the case I would hold him back.. I started reading this thinking you should send him , But this changed it for me.. Good luck.. Tough decision..
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| Posted 1/21/11 6:41 AM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
My DS is a 10/24 birthday...I will not be holding him back
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| Posted 1/21/11 6:48 AM |
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WeaponX2010
LIF Infant
Member since 12/10 127 total posts
Name:
Nikole D
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
Posted by Goobster
I would put him in K, no doubt about it, esp from everything you told us.
ITA!!
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| Posted 1/21/11 7:21 AM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
I want to thank everyone so much for replying.
We are going to wait until his evaluation in june to decide. And check out full day 4 year old programs in the meantime.
I feel he will do really well on the kindergarten evaluation- and once we see the cost for the full day private programs we will probably send him to kindergarten. But, I still have concerns about later in life.....
But I feel better knowing I can have more time to decide and that the kindergarten teachers will actually meet with him.
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| Posted 1/21/11 7:32 AM |
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
My son will be one of the youngest in his class. I do not like it at all but my inclination is to stick with the guidelines. He is 3 now and I can't see waiting 2 and a half more years for him to start Kindergarten. It's not that I want him to go so soon, b/c I will bawl like a baby when he starts Kindergarten. I just think that at the point at which I hold him back, I would just be preventing him from learning things that he is quite ready for. I don't think that there would me a program that will suit him better than Kindergarten will for that year. I'll continue to monitor him but right now I can't see keeping him back. It sounds like the OP knows that her son is ready even though she has questions about what may or may not happen in the teen years. 
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| Posted 1/21/11 11:01 PM |
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montimom
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/05 479 total posts
Name:
Misha
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Re: Question about holding back for kindergarten- sorry- long
I say go with what your heart is telling you and the fact that the teacher is also telling you that (send him to kindergarten) is only added confirmation.
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| Posted 1/22/11 9:48 AM |
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