question for "graduates"

This board has provided me with so much knowledge and comfort in the last year or so. And now I have a sensitive question. . .

After great news and terrible news (my DH's grandma passed away the night before we found out about our BFP after FET), I have been so anxious. I am obviously thrilled with our good news. Today I am 6w4d and heard the heart beat! I am just wondering when I can really relax and believe this is real.

I debated posting this for a few days, because I know it is sensitive. We all deserve BFPs that lead to healthy and happy pregnancies and babies, and I hope this continues for me and happens for everyone.

I just don't know how to relax... any advice?

Re: question for "graduates"

For me, I've just been using positive self-talk. I keep reminding myself that this pregnancy is different from the last one (I had a miscarriage last time around). I keep telling myself that this baby is healthy. That usually sets my mind at ease for awhile. I also keep doing things that I love doing (i.e. reading, getting together with friends, etc). It helps keep my mind off anxiety.

Re: question for "graduates"

It took me about 16 weeks into my pregnancy to accept that all was OK. When you go through IF you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I agree, positive self talk is the way to go. Be just as judicious as you were with your IF research/learing as with PG info. This will help you keep your mind at ease. It's OK to be hesitant but remember staying positive is the way to a healthy future.

Re: question for "graduates"

I am taking it one day at a time. I am almost 9 weeks and every day its a little easier although I still worry. My family is totally thrilled and excited but its been hard for me to be as excited b/c of what we've been through. I think its totally normal to feel anxious after going through IF.

Re: question for "graduates"

I am not sure if I am a good example of "relaxing" after hearing the heartbeat. When I got PG it was originally twins and we had told our immediate families about it. Around 10 wks one of the twins stopped growing. We ended up with a beautiful healthy girl but i never stopped worrying till i finally made it into the 3rd Tri.
Going through IF is so nervewracking and being PG after IF was even worse. I worried about everything.

It's very natural to feel worried

Congrats and hope you have a great PG

Re: question for "graduates"

FOr me, I was a nervous wreck until I hit around 13 weeks.That time seemed to drag, then suddenly time was and still is FLYING!

I kept reminding myself thsat I was doping EVERYTHING possible to support this pregnancy and it helped me calm down immensly.

Just keep reminding yourselg that and keep listening to your dr's/ You will be fine

Re: question for "graduates"

First, congratulations on your BFP!!

Honestly, I don't think I ever felt completely "relaxed" until he was in my arms.

I definitely calmed a little with each major milestone (8 weeks, end of first trimester, after the growth sono, 27 weeks, etc.)

But I don't think I really fully let myself believe that it was going to happen, just as a way of protecting myself.

It's an unfortunate side effect of infertility - at least it was for me.

Every night as I was trying to fall asleep I would say to myself "My baby is healthy and strong" until I fell asleep.

It helped keep me from thinking of any potential bad things.

Re: question for "graduates"

wow... as always, you ladies are my inspiration! Thanks!

Re: question for "graduates"

I am currently 25 weeks and I feel more relaxed then I did in the beginning but I won't feel totally relaxed until I hold her in my arms. Every milestone made me feel a little better, heartbeat, passing the 1st trimester, level II etc. It's hard when you have been through so much to finally believe that it's really happening. Congrats!!!!

Re: question for "graduates"

CONGRATS!!!

I went through the same thing and it was very hard to relax.

It didnt feel "Real" till the 12 week sono ...then it started to sink in.

BUT..I was still a nervous wreck. Once we hit 27 weeks and I knew he could be born and had a chance of survival, it lessened my fear...But I was still nervous and I honestly couldnt relax or feel safe till he was out, and even then it felt like a dream that he was real and made it.

Wish I could say it was easy, but its worth it.