Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

Are you planning on having the baby baptised/christened?

DH and I are not religious people. The last time I was in a church was for our wedding. I've never even been to a church in NJ and we've lived here for 6 years.

I'm pretty torn on which way to go on this.

On one hand, I'm sure the families will expect it and DH and I were both baptised and went to Sunday School, etc.

On the other, we aren't religious people and I don't see that changing. Isn't it sending mixed messages?

Thoughts?

Message edited 2/7/2007 12:58:38 PM.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

Re: Question for non-relgious moms-to-be...

Are you Catholic? I don't know- it might make things easier for the baby down the line if he's baptized, if he chooses to marry in the Church. I was baptized Catholic but then my mom raised us in her church (Lutheran). When it came time for DH and I to marry, it was easier for us because I'd at least been baptized Catholic. A church wedding was very important to DH.

We are going to baptize the baby, even though I am not religious at all, and DH considers himself religious but doesn't go to church (but I think it's because he knows it would be uncomfortable for me since I am not technically Catholic.) I don't really know what will happen down the line with her religious upbringing, but I figure that doing it sooner will be better than doing it later. I am hoping that we're able to find a liberal parish that will accept that I didn't get all the sacraments, and I don't know if I want to convert.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

Dh is jewish, I am catholic. He doesn't go to temple, I do not go to church regularly. our parents do not go to church/temple every weekend either anymore.

We did though agree that our children should have some kind of spiritual guidance in their lives, and if they choose to remain catholic and follow that religion or even convert to judaism, it would their choice.
But all in all we wanted to give them a start in something spiritual since that how we were raised.

I did baptize DD and plan to do the same with #2 and enroll them in religious instructions so they make communion and confirmation.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

Im having this issue too. Im the non relgious one, in a standard way of that I conform to one relgion...like Catholic...and DH is the same, although HE will tell you otherwise , because of his family.

My mom and his family would FREAK out if we didnt baptize, so Although its our son...I still feel its the best thing to do to appease all and hey, it cant hurt any right?

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

Since both DH and I were baptised, had our communion and were confirmed, we think it is important that MIkayla have the same.

We are not religious but have decided that we will attend church once Mikayla is here. I think it is important

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

DH and I aren't very religious people- we weren't married in a Church and he hasn't been indoctrinated into any religion (never baptized) but he comes from a methodist/Christian family that never practiced.

I made my communion, but have never been confirmed.

we are having the baby baptized into the Catholic faith. For me, this is more spirtutual and traditional than it is religious. DD will grow up in the Christian faith- whether it is exactly Catholic is up to her to continue- she'll make communion and probably be confirmed as well- but we will also draw from other faiths like hinduism and buddhism to make up her spirtual teachings..

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

I think religion is something of a tradition that is passed on from generation to generation. My parents were both baptized and married in church and then baptized me when I was born bc thats what their parents did and thats what they wanted to do as well. Although I remember being taken to church occasionally (I did attend religion classes, made my communion and confirmation) the most important thing that sticks in my mind is being taught about God and how it had an important part in my life NOT bc my parents wanted me to but bc I felt it was important to me...from when I was a little girl. Its really up to you to decide, but I just think its easier for the baby later on in life if it is baptised and it decides to get married etc. It also depends how you define being "religious". If it means going to church regularly then no I do not consider myself as religious. However, if you define it as believing in God and living the way we were taught to live as Christians or whatever religion you are then thats a different story. It would be kind of hypocritical to bring a baby into something that you do not believe in. I for one appreciate that my parents decided to pass this opportunity on to me.

Message edited 2/7/2007 1:16:55 PM.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

I'm not religious at this point in my life. I was raised catholic, however, I don't attend church and don't belong to a catholic church here. My son was never baptized. The new baby is expected to be baptized by my SO and his family, eventhough SO doesn't attend or belong to a church. I can see this is going to create conflict for us, because I just don't see it as being necessary and don't feel like it should be done just because people expect it to be done. Not to mention my first son was never baptized, so I think it would be a little weird to have one and not the other.

It comes down to doing what YOU want, not what other people want you to do.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

I'm Jewish and DH is Catholic and we are going to do a Blessing. I have no idea how but hopefully we will figure it out. If anyone has any suggestions please let us know !!

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

DH was raised Lutheran, baptized and confirmed.

I was raised Roman Catholic, baptized and confirmed.

We were married in a Christian Community Church - more for the setting and to quiet our parents than anything else.

We are Athiests and have been for longer than we've known eachother. We've decided that we will not be Christening our children, as it goes against our beliefs. We will educate our kids as to what choices they have, we will show them our own way of being spiritual. We know this will make our kids different but we will do all we can to help them understand that it's ok for people to believe whatever they are most
comfortable with and what their options are.

We do celebrate some of the more Christian Holidays but more because they were originally Pagan holidays and make sure to include pagan traditions.

We know we will encounter problems from our parents but I'm sure they will come to understand our decision.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

DH and I are not strictly religious either, although we were raised differently. We only go to church for weddings, baptisms, etc. The last time we were in a church was last year for our wedding.

That being said, DH and I have still decided to baptize the baby and send the baby to religious classes and do the whole thing. IMO, I feel that our baby should be able to make his own choice regarding religion. I also don't want to make his life difficult down the line if he chooses to lead a religious lifestyle or if he decides to marry a woman who is religious.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

I have this issue too. Neither of us is very religious, although we both went when we were younger, and both went through confirmations. We don't attend church, nor do most of our family members (few exceptions, of course). But he likes to think he is more religious, and wants the baby baptized, probably at the church he was baptized at (I'm not from LI). I don't know for sure if we'll do it.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

you just described myself and DH, our DD was baptized and this one will be too.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

DH and I are not religious people but we do believe that the baby should be something. Im Catholic and DH is Episcopalian. Im more involved in my faith than his so we have agreed to baptize the baby catholic until he is old enough to decide his own beliefs. We just feel that he should have some faith.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

we are both catholic and not religious at all, but since the both of us were confirmed and all that jazz we are doing the same for our daughter, and if she wants to get married in a church when she is older she can with no problems....

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

We didn't for our first, and DH's parents were pretty upset, and still bring it up to this day.I wasn't against it, it just wasn't something I felt comfortable with, since my family isn't very religious.
I don't think its sending mixed messages if you do it though, alot of people I know who don't attend church have had their kids baptised. I think its just something you and DH need to decide yourselves, and don't let your families influence you.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

DH and I arent religious either we are not doign a christening or a baptism. Although we are spiritual we want our children to be guided by their own decisions. I was never baptized and neither was DH.

Message edited 2/7/2007 2:52:50 PM.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

Our child technically is half Jewish (Dh doesn't practice though) and I was raised with no religious affiliation. We want our son to know his heritage, but we feel it would be hypocritical of us to have him ordained into a religion when we don't wholeheartedly believe in them. I am sure that there are members of our families that will be disappointed, but ultimately we have to feel good about how we decide to raise our child not them.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

We are having the same exact issue. Out of respect for my family (who are VERY religious), we are having her baptised at my mother's church. I respect my heritage and look at it as I'm giving her the option to either continue it in her adult life or not. We will not be sending her to "Sunday" school, but her grandmother will provide the basic foundation of our family's religion. Also, I feel like if she does choose to follow this religion as she gets older, it will be much easier for her to become a member of a church when she is already baptised.

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

Re: Question for non-religious moms-to-be...

no, we are not. i just think it would be kind of pointless. i wasn't baptized and DH wasn't either. we don't go to church. i don't know the first thing about it, so we aren't going to do it.

it's funny how people react though...a family friend told me that she makes outfits for christenings and she said, "are you going to have your baby christened" and when I said no the expression on her face was pure horror....