Question for teachers of nursery/preschoolers/kindergarden re: super-attached kids

Ive posted some questions a while back re: my super-attached daughters and wanted to get a teacher's perspective on my question.

My daughter starts nursery school in Sept - and I know its going to take quite an adjustment for her to have me leave her there. I've been trying to transition her to stay with family for an hour or two each week and she hasn't adjusted very well with me leaving her behind even for a short period of time. Im a SAHM so i guessing that might be part of the problem. She is a perfect child otherwise and socializes well with adults and children when I am around but when I leave its another story and its frustrating because Ive been having difficulties leaving her with close family and forget about me leaving the room! Anyway - some days are better than worse but im hoping to get some approaches from the teachers on this board.
From your experience how long do you allow caregivers to stay in the room for when the kids start school?
One week? two? four?
What approaches have you found that worked with other students? Do parents come in and quickly leave their children? Do they sneak out? What have you found to be effective?
I want to be prepared.
We signed her up for a program in January but she gave the teachers a hard time when i left and wouldn't calm down or stop crying until I came back - she wouldn't even eat her snack etc.- when i came back all was well. I also stayed in the room with her for the first couple weeks and began to leave a bit earlier the following days after - but it got worse every day. We finally decided to put all our energy in having her start in September and thought she was not ready at 3. Sept she will be alittle over 3.5 years old.
Some people tell me to be tough from day one - just kiss her and leave - but its not going to be that easy - or is it?
What do you think? suggest?


Thanks so much - just thinking ahead to get some insight

ETS - I also adore the teachers there and it was DH and I's decision to pull her out of the program in Jan.

Message edited 6/1/2009 7:50:39 PM.

Re: Question for teachers of nursery/preschoolers/kindergarden re: super-attached kids

I've had experience with teaching Kindergarten. The best answer I have is to definitely do the kiss and leave thing. I know it is probably hard, but I've find that when children are upset it passes pretty quickly. The teachers won't let you stay and honestly, that would probably make it worse.

You can also lead up to it by talking about how much fun she is going to have, all of the friends that she's going to make, etc. If you show any anxiety over it, she will probably sense it. Just an example, make sure that you don't talk about this issue around her with other family or friends. They are smart enough to pick up on it.

There is also this wonderful book called The Kissing Hand. I haven't read it in a couple of years, but I had always recommended it to parents in this situation. You can read it with her. I can't remember exactly, but I think it's about a squirrel that has to be apart from mom and she kisses his hand in a certain spot. Sorry that I don't remember, but I swear it's really good.

Please feel free to FM me if you have any other questions.

Re: Question for teachers of nursery/preschoolers/kindergarden re: super-attached kids

Re: Question for teachers of nursery/preschoolers/kindergarden re: super-attached kids

dd will start pre school in Sept also - she will be 3 yr3 mth - - she is super attached and I know we will have the same issues. Ive spoke to the teacher/owner of the school already and she basically said it *usually* takes a mth or so for them to adjust and the kiss and leave thing is best. They wont even really let the parents stay in the classroom, it just makes matters worse.

Re: Question for teachers of nursery/preschoolers/kindergarden re: super-attached kids

Posted by jaysee00

I've had experience with teaching Kindergarten. The best answer I have is to definitely do the kiss and leave thing. I know it is probably hard, but I've find that when children are upset it passes pretty quickly. The teachers won't let you stay and honestly, that would probably make it worse.

You can also lead up to it by talking about how much fun she is going to have, all of the friends that she's going to make, etc. If you show any anxiety over it, she will probably sense it. Just an example, make sure that you don't talk about this issue around her with other family or friends. They are smart enough to pick up on it.

There is also this wonderful book called The Kissing Hand. I haven't read it in a couple of years, but I had always recommended it to parents in this situation. You can read it with her. I can't remember exactly, but I think it's about a squirrel that has to be apart from mom and she kisses his hand in a certain spot. Sorry that I don't remember, but I swear it's really good.

Please feel free to FM me if you have any other questions.

Re: Question for teachers of nursery/preschoolers/kindergarden re: super-attached kids

Thank you so much ladies to all of you - you really put my mind at ease!!!!

I really think that kiss and leave might be easier for the child and the teacher in the long run - i will absolutely keep everyone posted when the time comes.

i really want to make the transition easier on DD and the teacher and other classmates. i felt like a distraction sitting in the classroom for as long as I did the first time in january - but this time we are really going to try and make this work - i think DD will benefit in many ways too even though i expect a tough time.

I will definitely look into that book - will go to Barnes and Nobles this week.
Thanks so much!