Questions for moms of toddlers

At this very moment the idea of sticking pencils in my eyeballs seems less painful than listening to my almost 17 month old SCREAMING bloody murder because I put her down.

Does anyone else's toddler STILL have to CIO like every night? DH swares she almost never cried when he would put her down when I was working nights and that she's working me because on occasion I have given in and went and got her. This is TORTURE and I feel like I am doing something wrong....any advice?

And while I have your attention lol...

what do you do with the whining toddler who wants EVERYTHING off of the dinner table and just whines the whole time?

when did their eye teeth come in? (I am wondering if this has ANYTHING at all to do with things right now)

how do you handle picky eaters? Sydnie used to love everything and I swore I would be the mom who offered 2 choices or starve but I find myself offering 8-10 things at meal times!

Ladies I feel like jumping off a cliff right now....please talk me down

What am I doing wrong? I feel like such an awful mommy

Re: Questions for moms of toddlers

I wish I had some solutions, but my 25 month old sounds very similar. I am gonna lose my mind!

Re: Questions for moms of toddlers

You KNOW that you are a GREAT mommy.

I can almost bet you she is getting her eye teeth in. Anthony cut his 1st one @ a week ago. I bet the teething is causing the eating issues. I feel like I feed him the same things everyday, because that is what he will eat (that is what he doesnt throw on the floor). Try giving the hyland's teething tablets a little bit before the meals and see if it helps.

If she doesn't cry when DH puts her to bed, then let DH put her to bed Snuggle, hand her off and let him "tuck her in".

Hang in there. I am NOT loving this age so much either

Re: Questions for moms of toddlers

You are so NOT an awful mommy! I wish I had better advice about CIO, but I don't... hopefully someone else on here does!

We are dealing with a picky eater here too. One night he likes something, the next he hates it. I have found that if I can get him to cry and whine enough that I can get him to open his mouth for a taste he shuts up and ends up liking it, and eating more. If not, he gets bread and/or jarred food, something I KNOW he will eat. I am not about to fight a 16.5 month old over eating. And if he doesn't eat, I offer him milk and call it a night. He'll eat in the morning.

DS is more of a whiner when he wants UP (for mommy to hold him) or when he wants DOWN from his high chair. So that's pretty much every second from the time we come home till the time he goes to bed. I am thinking it's just a phase. That will probably last another year or so until his vocab improves.

Hang in there We can swap stories this weekend!!

Re: Questions for moms of toddlers

First off, I know you Annie. And you are by no stretch of imagination a terrible mommy. So throw that garbage right out the window!

As far as CIO at night. I have no advice. Ryan never cries at night. I just do our every day routine - dinner, run around to get our wiggles out, bath, lotion/pjs, book in rocking chair, bed. Works every night.

But I will say about a month ago I had the wonderful idea of dropping the AM nap. Well, that destroyed naptime COMPLETELY. He would cry probably for an hour if I'd leave him there for his 1 nap.

So, I decided I would just screw the naps and hopefully they would come back on their own. And they did. After 2 days of no nap and going to bed easily at 6 pm I decided to give a nap a whirl. Did out normal nap routine. Put him in. And thank you very much, not a peep for an hour. Certainly not the length I was hoping for, but the lack of crying made ever second of those 60 minutes blissful.

Ryan sits in a booster seat. I typically serve him first. He gets 1 plate (it has dividers on it). On his plate will be a little of everything we are eating. Tonight it was a roasted chicken, roasted potatoes, and steamed veggies. He typically likes to eat his food in sections. I just let him go to town. I don't make him finish his plate. He eats what he wants and that's that. If there is a situation where he points and says "this" to what is on my plate I will tell him "it's chicken" and point to the chicken on his dish. If that answer isn't good enough for him I let him taste the one that is on my fork. He then typically realizes its the same thing and doesn't ask again. There have been a few times (potato latkes more specifically) where he will eat 1 item off his plate, ask for more of that item, and refuse to touch anything else. He does not get seconds if he hasn't touched any of his "meat" and/or protein. That is my rule. If he refuses to eat it. He gets nothing else. And will be dismissed from the table. No TV, quiet playing by himself while the rest of us finish our dinner.

There have been a small handful of times where he has decided to chuck his plate on the floor. And this is prior to him eating a spot of food. He gets a 2 minute time out. After time out he MUST help me clean up. He then gets to go look at a book while I make a second plate. He comes back to the table and is offered the same food again.

I want to say since he started eating solely table food at 12 months there have probably only been 2 times he went to bed without dinner. Did it upset me? Absolutely. Did it make him learn real fast to eat what is offered? ABSOLUTELY!

My child is not a picky eater. Not sure if I got lucky, I'm really strict, or a combination of both, but it works so I'm not complaining.

The eye teeth. I can't really remember. He has had all his teeth now for so long. I feel like it was after his molars. So maybe it was around 15 months. But teething has never affected his eating.

Gratefully, we have eating down to a science in this house. If only my instruction manual would arrive on handling a toddler who throws everything at the dog would arrive, we'd be in great shape

Sorry this turned into a novel. hang in there!

edited for typo

Message edited 1/19/2010 7:59:49 PM.

Re: Questions for moms of toddlers

Re: Questions for moms of toddlers

I have a 16 month old, I can not stand the whining, it drives me friggin insane!!!!! I try to make dinner and he stands at the gate screaming and whining OMG I CAN"T!!!!!!!!!
He has been waking every night for the past 3 weeks for bottles. I have to get up bc there is a baby upstairs that my DS wakes up all the time. DS just had his 4 molars pop out, he has no eye teeth

I don't know where they are, or if they are coming at all, so wierd! If I weren't pregnant I would be drinking every night !!! It must be the age, but now I'm beginning to worry about terrible twos'

Re: Questions for moms of toddlers

wow that's a lot of questions for one post.

-there was a period of time in which jacen would CIO for bedtime every night. Many times it was when his sleeping was out of whack. Sometimes it's because he worked us (like your DH says), so we stopped going in. Once that door is shut... it's shut completely! Unfortunately they're getting older now and smarter. Just like we do books before bed and now jacen wants another book and another book and another to delay bedtime. Maybe she's going through some separation anxiety with you.

-we're dealing with the whining over here too. But not so much about dinner items. Yes he does sometimes whine and point to our stuff and i just simply say "mommys drink" and then i point to his and say "jacens drink." I leave it at that. I want him to know that some things are ours and some are his and that he is not entitled to everything and anything. As for the whining around the clock, i know it's because he's frustrated that he can't communicate more. So i simply tell him no whining and to use his words.

-No eye teeth here yet and he's almost 20 months old.

-Eating... jacen used to eat a lot and loved many things. Now some of his favorites, he won't touch anymore and it's been months of that. When it comes to dinner, if he doesn't like what he has on his plate... we offer him 1 other thing. If he refuses everything, we let him have a yogurt and some fruit.

You're not an awful mommy at all!!!!! It's just the age and they're testing us. Try to remain consistent all around and hang in there.

Re: Questions for moms of toddlers

so have you been living in our house?? ds, at 15 1/2 months, still cio everytime he is in the crib... doesnt matter who puts him down


he has given us alot of eating issues lately and we have determined it is all teething related...


i have no advice but know you arent the only one

Re: Questions for moms of toddlers

Posted by mikeswife06

Thanks Jess!

My jaw is seriously on the floor right now over your meal times. How on earth did you manage to get things so under control?!?!?! I am in awe. Seriously.

When I said she wants everything it isn't even so much food as MY fork, MY glass of water, the S&P shakers....Anything!

I guess I really need to start looking at the whole picture and making changes myself. I will admit, I am not always consistent and willing to put in the time it probably takes to instill some of the rules and routines such as yours. Perhaps a new bedtime routine is needed. More winding down time in her room etc.

But I thank you all for the sweet words of encouragement and am eager to hear what more mommies have to say

Re: Questions for moms of toddlers

I am not a CIO mommy, as I type my daughter is playing on the living room floor because she wasn't ready to go to sleep
As far as eating, if she is hungry she will eat. We don't offer different options I really don't make anything exotic and either she eats it or she doesn't
Not sure about the teeth bc she only has 4 so far