questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

i apologize for crashing to post this, but i lurk on this board so much and you girls are always so helpful!

DH and i have been married for about 7 months and are anxious to start a family (especially me)! i am 32 and he is 40 so we definitely feel ready in that regard. here's the thing....i am a plus size girl...i am only 5'0'' and about a size 18. shortly after our wedding, i got to my highest weight ever but at the beginning of october i decided enough was enough and i started a new eating plan (i refuse to call it a diet!) since then, i've lost approximately 9 pounds. this is great, but unfortunately just a small drop in a very big bucket. today i had a gyn appointment and mentioned that we would like to start TTC early next year....i asked her if my weight would negatively impact my pregnancy. she was actually very nice and just gave me facts about all the risk factors, but i left there feeling devastated. the other thing is, last time i went to my primary doctor, my bp was high for the first time in my life. anyway, since i left the gyn today i've been a mess...crying and feeling horrible about myself. in the end she said i would be much better off if i could lose about 30 pounds but that even if i got pregnant now, there's always the possibility that things could work out just fine. but i just feel so bad about myself right now and i feel like it's ME holding up the process of starting a family and mostly i feel like i'm under a TON of pressure. i want to be healthy and lose weight and i'm sure i will continue to be successful but for the first time today i felt like "omg, another human's life is dependent upon my health!"

soooo.....i guess i was just hoping that the plus size mommy's and mommy's to be out there could share with me your experiences of being plus sized and pregnant. mostly i guess i want to be reassured that it will all be ok! also, did any of you lose weight before getting pregnant and have your doctor's ever said anything about your weight? i'll take any advice or words of wisdom you have! i know this is all very personal so i really appreciate anything you want to share.

sorry this is so long and whiney! i'm normally pretty upbeat and confident but right now i'm feeling like cr*p! thanks a bunch!!!!

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I am a plus sized Mommy and I got pregnant after trying for 3 months, I had a very healthy and easy pregnancy, and I gave birth to a beautiful baby. I only gained 2.5 lbs while I was pregnant. Of course its healthier to be thinner while trying to get pregnant, but plenty of overweight women get pregnant quickly, and some even get pregnant by accident!

Don't get too downearted, just start trying and be as healthy as you can be!

Good luck!

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

Firstly.. you're Dr. should not make you feel bad!!!

I will say that being overweight can make TTC more difficult, but NOT IN EVERY CASE! I'm also overweight, have stuggled my whole life with my weight. While it did take me 2 years and many invasive procedures to get pregnant, it had nothing to do with my weight!

With that said, being overweight and pregnant does put you at higher risk for things like Gestational Diabietes, so of course it's always in your best interest and in the interest of you baby to be at a healthy weight when you get pregnant.

There are many of us plus sized ladies here on the board who have had healthy pregnancies so far!

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I don't think you should be worried about what could happen. Eating healthfully and exercising are always good and can only make your pregnancy that much better.

I have been overweight my entire life, when I went to my OB/GYN to let her know we wanted to try to get PG, she never mentioned my weight. I was wearing a size 20 at the time. I got PG the second month trying and have had a textbook pregnancy. I'm 37 weeks now and both the baby and myself are perfectly healthy. I exercised consistently before getting PG, I ran a 5K at 225lbs, but once I did get PG I really eased up on the exercise because of exhaustion etc. I am looking forward to being able to get out there again after the baby is born, but I don't feel my lack of exercise has really hindered my PG.

try not to stress, treat yourself well and you'll make things eaier on yourself

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I am a plus size mommy!
It took 9 months to conceive DS.
He's a happy and healthy 22 month old right now.
5 months after he was born, I had gall bladder surgery.
With that I lost a little (I mean, very little) weight.
This summer, I started walking, watching what I ate and went to the track with my dad and sister. Walked about 1.5-2miles a day.

Long story short, Yes, I lost weight, BUT, Im still a plus sized mommy.

This time around it took 3 months to concieve. I am 11 weeks pregnant with number 2!

Like another poster said, your dr. should not make you feel bad.
My dr. tells me "A brisk walk is good" and just watch salt and fried foods.

Any questions, please FM me.

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I am also a plus size girl... Always have been... at my wedding i was at my lowest weight... and size (btw 14-16... and then got pregnant the next week... I have had one of the easiest pregnancies so far.. (knock on wood) and my doctor said nothing about weight, how much I should gain, no worries about me starting out heavier... I have gained more than I should have by now according to the books, but I continue to stay active and walk every day.. so my doctor said as long as I feel good.. its fine.. so basically..what I am saying is.. complications can occur to anyone.. whether your skinny, overweight, or any other body type.... and of course being active and eating healthy could always help!

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I am plus sized and have been for both of my pregnancies and while my pregnancies weren't the easiest I don't really know how much part my weight played in my issues. I had high BP with both my pregnancies but my BP is normal when I'm not pregnant. I never developed pre-eclampsia and delivered two beautiful children naturally with no complications. I never had gestational diabetes or any of the other issues they sometimes say plus size women will have.

I have been overweight my whole life and honestly couldn't see putting off having children for something that may never happen (getting thin). My first pregnancy was a free for all with eating and I gained more weight than I probably should have. I was more careful this time around and gained 25lbs and so far at 2 weeks post partum have lost all but 5 lbs.

I purposely sought out midwives for my prenatal care opposed to an OB because I prefer their bedside manner and the time they take with me and obviously because they support natural childbirth.

Good Luck!

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

You're being way toooo hard on yourself! I am 33, and the exact height and size of you...we actually wore the same wedding gown (i just peeked at your album ).

I had a lot of the same fears as you. I addressed them with my OBGYN, and she said while it would certainly help to loose weight before conceiving, she's also "seen worse".

Its hard to say what it would be like if I were not plus size. I've experienced major swelling very early on. I don't know if this is how my body would've reacted even if I were thinnner. I also have GD, which again, I was at risk for since it runs in my family.

other than that, I have a had a good pregnancy (knock wood) and my little man is healthy to date. I've gained 19 lbs at 32 weeks, which according to my nutitionist was way too much, but my doc seems to think OK.

It seems most plus size mommys gain very little weight, since we are now finally foscued on eating a healthy diet, that it offsets that baby weight.

There are risks in all pregnancies. I say go for it. Plenty of plus size moms go on to have healthy pregnancies and children. I woluld stay focused on a nutritious diet. Embrace your body, and go make your dreams happen.

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

This is my third pregnancy and I have been plus size for all three. My blood pressure has been perfect, no gestational diabetes, minimal weight gain, textbook pregnancies.

I did end up with a c-section which they claim is more likely in plus size women, but a lot of women have c-sections so I don't know if I'd worry about that.

Don't let it get you down. In all likelihood you will be perfectly fine!

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

i beyond understand how you feel - i just need to start with that...

before we started ttc'ing - i did the same as most other women and went to the OB/GYN and she asked me all kinds of ?? and never once mentioned my weight. Even the RE said i was overweight - but average (and that's exactly what it said in my notes - as i have them now).

it took us 7 months of trying to be successful. It was a long 7 months - but we got there. was it my weight that caused it to take that long? I truly don't know - but i don't think so. Once i gave myself over mentally to the RE, i was finally able to 'relax' (taboo word in TTC - i KNOW) - and we were successful that month.

Gaining weight now - for the baby is, i'll be honest, not the easiest thing in the world - but i keep telling myself that it's the baby - the baby needs food, etc...

Please, FM me if you have any questions, i understand where you are coming from so much...

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

As a plus-sized girl I had the same fears for YEARS about the same things. You will be fine.

It was always my intention to lose weight before TTC but as life goes, things got in the way and it just didn't happen. DH and I decided to start trying last January after a conversation with my doctor who told me to go for it...sure there are risks, but as Kris said there are risks for lots of other reasons. I got pregnant in February, my second month of trying. My pregnancy was great and I had no complications whatsoever - no GD, no high BP, and I gained 4lbs total. I absolutely loved being pregnant. Sure I didn't get the cute belly until I was very well along and finding cute maternity clothes was a little more challenging, but at the end of the day, all I cared about was that my baby was happy and healthy.

I am now 2 weeks PP and can't wait to have another.

Don't worry too much about this - sure, start eating more healthy, take vitamins, etc....but live your life too - it will happen and you'll be a great mommy!

I wish you the very best and FM me if you want to talk about this any further!

Message edited 12/3/2008 6:59:38 PM.

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I have PCOS and am plus size. Honestly I have tried for a long time to lose weight without success but I do eat healthy. This is my second pregnancy - I was told due to my PCOS I would have a hard time or not get pregnant on my own - I do have very irregular periods - and I got pregnant both times on the first month. My first pregnancy was very healthy - no GD, no HPB but I did have some complications that they thought were a product of DD having a possible birth condition (not related to weight) but she did not have it. I did end up preeclampsic but ONLY when I went into labor.

So far I will be 13 weeks tomorrow and I feel great - and everything is going very well so far and my BP is in normal range (110/60)

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

wow! i just got home and read all of your responses to DH and became COMPLETELY overwhelmed with emotion! even now i'm fighting back tears to write this. i cannot thank you all enough for your kind words and encouragement and for being so open and honest! you are all amazing!

i feel so much better after reading your posts and i will definitely have more questions (i'm sure) once we do get pregnant so i'm sure i'll be FMing everybody!

i've been always been more of a lurker than somebody who posts (here and on LIW) and i've never put so much personal information up on the web before as i did above but i must say that there is something really special about the comfort i feel right now from you all!

thank you so so so so so much!! for the mommy's to be...i can't wait to see all of your beautiful babies and for the mommy's...your children are absolutely gorgeous! (i peeked in everybody's albums!)

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

i was overweight, i had two mc's. when i spoke to my doctor he didnt feel weight was a factor in the pregnancy- but that to get pregnant is tougher when you are more overweight..... after my second loss i joined weight watchers lost 50lbs(before that never lost more than 15lbs) and got down to a size 14.
now im 16 weeks along healthy

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I too am plus-sized, and pretty much did the same thing you did in January of this year. I started going to the gym 3-4 times a week, and eating healthier.

My periods have always been irregular, but as soon as I started losing weight, I got as regular as regular can be. I went from 45 day cycles, or sometimes skipping a month or two, to regular 28-30 cycles.

My husband (fiance at that time) and I weren't trying to conceive, but we did...and all this time we thought we might not be able to have children because of my menstrual problems.

I am convinced that the weight loss helped regulate my periods and conceive. All in all, I lost 24 pounds when I found out I was pregnant. But I had probably lost about 20 when we actually conceived.

I didn't gain any weight the first 5 months or so of my pregnancy. To date, I have only gained 6 pounds, and no high blood pressure, diabetes, and the baby is healthy as can be. My doctors have never said anything negative about my weight...in fact, they agree that the weight loss most likely helped me along.

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself, because even the littlest bit of weight loss can help. I had only lost about 5 pounds when my periods became regular. I hope this gives you hope..keep the faith, and it will all work out in the end.

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I was plus size when I got pregnant (I was about 190)

I gained 50 lbs during my pregnancy, everthing was fine, I did not develop GD and my doctor NEVER said anything about my weight

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I am plus size. I got PG frist month trying. I had a rough pregnancy because of extreme morning sickness. I lost 14lbs my first trimester. Other than that, everything has been great. Blood pressure is perfect, baby is perfect etc.

I am 29 weeks now and still 3lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight.

I am planning a homebirth with my midwives. My midwives are absolutely womderful and NEVER have mentioned my weight. In fact when I brought it up a few times they sushed me and said, "As long as you are happy with every piece of food you are putting in your body, then so are we". It really helps me to put things into perspective....


So, just because you are plus size does NOT mena you can't have a normal healthy pregnancy!!!

Good luck!

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I am plus size mommy & I am also expecting baby #2. It took us the first try to conceive DS and now DD. DS was born healthy and everything is fine with him. DD is growing wonderfully. My OB told me that the only thing would be was to watch my weight gain. With DS I gained 30 lbs and this time at 24 weeks I have only gained 7 lbs.

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I'm a plus size mommy-to-be and had no trouble conceiving (even with a thyroid surgery in Jan, two months before getting preggos).

Now, I do have to correct somebody, being plus size DOES NOT INCREASE YOUR CHANGES GD. I asked my doctors. They said this is a myth. In fact, a majority of GD mommies-to-be aren't overweight and never were because their bodies aren't as adjusted to it.


Don't worry. I know skinny girls who have had trouble conceiving. Yes, weight may play a factor, but it works in both directions.

Hang in there and realize, you are not alone here!

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I was plus sized when I got pregnant. I was worried that I would have problems TTC because of my weight but I was lucky. I had a really wonderful pregnancy overall. I had a LOT of nausea during the first trimester, I actually lost 15lbs. For the entire pregnancy, I only gained 12 lbs from my original pre-pregnancy weight. I didn't have gestational DB or high blood pressure during or after the pregnancy. Overall, I was very lucky and happy!

Feel free to FM me with any personal concerns or questions. I would be glad to help!

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

Message edited 12/4/2008 1:09:30 PM.

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

I have been plus size my entire life- with the last 5 yrs being at my highest weight- I did lose almost 30 lbs for my wedding last year but it has come back on . I was with DH for 11 yrs and we were begining to think we couldnt have children- Dr said w/ my periods being irregular due to weight mostlikely- she put me on clommid to help w/ ovulation. took it for the 5 days and next month was prego! I'm at the end of my 22nd wk and have only gained 7 lbs so far and my dr says I am doing just fine- that she has estimated me 15-20 lbs for the whole pregnancy. So I guess the baby is eating off the fat of the land hahahahah--- So far my BP and everything is great. I eat more healthier now and try not to do any fast foods- except for the occational craving lol. I do feel my back and knees starting to hurt from the extra weight- I definatly plan on loosing before the next one! So don't stress and worry- you will be just fine.

Re: questions for plus size girls....needing reassurance and advice! (sorry, VERY long)

ladies....i just want to say thank you again for all your honesty, support and encouragement. i was so sad yesterday and these posts have helped me realize there is hope! for now, i am going to just concentrate on my body, my health and getting my blood pressure down and then in the new year we will most likely start TTC! thank you all sooooooooooooo much!