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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
Waterspout's thread got me thinking....
...why do people randomly on the street ask if I am BF? The old lady bank teller asked me as she points to her breast and taps it, on two seperate occasions two women my DH rusn into walking our dogs asked my DH if I am BF. Some women at my DH's job have asked him if I am...and one of our male neighbors in his 40s asked my DH. DH does NOT like to be asked, whether I was or wasn't BF, b/c he/we feel it's no one's business. I just don't get WHY others need to know this.
So...anyone have any insight WHY so many random people are asking this question? I find it very personal and private. I don't find it so odd or overly intrusive if friends or family ask or MAYBE a female who has had children...but random people, and aquaintances asking my DH? Why do they feel the need to ASK (esp a man!)?
Message edited 2/10/2009 4:29:57 PM.
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Posted 2/10/09 4:21 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
It is a personal question. I don't find the question itself to be rude but I find the "attitude" of "why" or "why not" to be rude after you answer.
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| Posted 2/10/09 4:32 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
I think it's one of those random busy body questions like when people ask how much weight you've gained during your pregnancy - as if women want to share that. I'll tell now - now that I lost it - but that wasn't public knowledge at the time!
Plus, I think sometimes it's just innocent and a way to start a converstaion and share experiences.
Message edited 2/10/2009 4:42:01 PM.
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| Posted 2/10/09 4:36 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
Some people are just curious..it depends on how they ask.
Most friends of mine that I've met since living here asked at some point or another if I was nursing. I said no.
I had one of them say "you didnt even want to give your baby colostrum??" with this horrified look on her face. She was the only one who made me feel very awkward and like I was doing a disservice to my kid.
I couldn't understand how anyone CARED that much. I certainly could care less about how they fed THEIR kid.
It's funny...her son ended up with tons of food allergies and asthma. I know it wasn't the breastfeeding that caused this....BUT she was the one who told me that she was doing it because it prevents allergies and makes kids smarter. Whatever.
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| Posted 2/10/09 4:39 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
Posted by maybebaby
t's funny...her son ended up with tons of food allergies and asthma. I know it wasn't the breastfeeding that caused this....BUT she was the one who told me that she was doing it because it prevents allergies and makes kids smarter. Whatever.
See, I researched this b/c my DH has asthma and animal allergies. I was going to BF IF all evidence pointed towards it improving asthma or allergy rates in babies. So I did some research..
Now of course you can find studies supporting any arguement, but I found studies showing BF did NOT improve asthma rates, and in addition, BF didn't improve allergies, in fact, could add to allergies in babies.
Don't flame me, I am sure there are all kinds of studies on the net...I realize this but whatever I found convinced me that BF doesn't improve allergies or asthma (in addition to looking at all the people I know with/without allergies who were BF/not BF).
Message edited 2/10/2009 4:46:25 PM.
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| Posted 2/10/09 4:43 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
Posted by Goobster
Posted by maybebaby
t's funny...her son ended up with tons of food allergies and asthma. I know it wasn't the breastfeeding that caused this....BUT she was the one who told me that she was doing it because it prevents allergies and makes kids smarter. Whatever.
See, I researched this b/c my DH has asthma and animal allergies. I was going to BF IF all evidence pointed towards it improving asthma or allergy rates in babies. So I did some research..
Now of course you can find studies supporting any arguement, but I found studies showing BF did NOT improve asthma rates, and in addition, BF didn't improve allergies, in fact, could add to allergies in babies.
Don't flame me, I am sure there are all kinds of studies on the net...I realize this but whatever I found convinced me that BF doesn't improve allergies or asthma.
I too have seen the same if not higher rates of allergies in children who were BF (among my group of friends).
The cousins on my fathers side were BF and all three had horrible food allergies and asthma.
Now I'm SURE they would have had them as well if they were FF, but it just always makes me feel like it really doesn't help prevent allergies...and I too have read in recent reports that it depending on the moms diet, it could cause some allergies. It's interesting.
I still do know that BF'ing has its advantages of course and I would never argue with facts...I just find the allergy thing interesting!
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| Posted 2/10/09 4:46 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
Posted by maybebaby
I too have read in recent reports that it depending on the moms diet, it could cause some allergies. It's interesting.
I still do know that BF'ing has its advantages of course and I would never argue with facts...I just find the allergy thing interesting!
I read this too and since my DH has asthma, that's why I avoided peanuts during pg and would have during BF if I BF. I read that some foods proteins cross into the breast milk and the baby can't handle the proteins, thus developing allergies.
Who knows for sure if this is true? But along with my other reasons, it convinced me that BF was NOT the way for ME personally to go.
Message edited 2/10/2009 4:49:25 PM.
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| Posted 2/10/09 4:48 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
BF does help a child immune system but it's not a miracle. It will not avoid a child to have colics, allergies or athma. It has a lot to do with medical history of the parents.
My niece was BFd and is deadly allergic to peanuts.
DS had colics and now reactive airways disease and he was BFd.
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| Posted 2/10/09 4:52 PM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
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We're so blessed!
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
totally agree!!!!!!!! i dont understand whats the big concern to random strangers on the street either..funny story..i was actually at a christmas party at dhs work and one of the wives of his coworker (who is from brazil with a heavy accent) looked at my boobs, made a big boobs gesture with her hands and said u give milk....im like what?! no im not, just got big boobs....and laughed it off and she was like oh looking at my boobs with a look on her face like what a waste. im like w t f
eta ppl are morons
Message edited 2/10/2009 5:00:41 PM.
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| Posted 2/10/09 4:52 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
Posted by smdl
BF does help a child immune system but it's not a miracle. It will not avoid a child to have colics, allergies or athma. It has a lot to do with medical history of the parents.
My niece was BFd and is deadly allergic to peanuts.
DS had colics and now reactive airways disease and he was BFd.
I do believe BF does help immunities to colds, viruses that a baby might be exposed to, for the time being while being BF, just as our babies are supposed to have our immunities for certain things for abotu 6 mths after giving birth.
But BF does not provide a lifelong immunity, just as they don't get lifelong immunities from being carried by us with all of our immunities. And I don't believe BF prevents allergies, asthma, etc, just maybe helps a bit extra with everyday colds, viruses for the time being.
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| Posted 2/10/09 4:58 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
Is this a thread about the UNbenefits of BFing or why people ask?
I ask new moms I'm aquainted with because I feel I'm a good resource/support system when it comes to BFing while: TTC/pregnant/working/while raising a toddler. I've done all that (and done it pretty well) and appreciated advice from other BTDT moms while I went through it.
That said, I do NOT ask random strangers on the street.
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| Posted 2/10/09 6:04 PM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
I have no clue!! I also find it very rude and obtrusive. Why does anyone care how I use my breasts or how I feed my child?
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| Posted 2/10/09 6:06 PM |
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Kris516
Love The Roo
Member since 2/08 2024 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
I don't get it either, but I hate the lectures I get from BTDT BF moms...its really inappropriate.
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| Posted 2/10/09 6:07 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
Posted by Kris516
I don't get it either, but I hate the lectures I get from BTDT BF moms...its really inappropriate.
See, THIS shocks me. I cannot imagine ever LECTURING someone. I figured in this day and age people just *know* that BF vs. FF is a personal decision and "off limits" to discussion.
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| Posted 2/10/09 6:10 PM |
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babyonthebrain
Brotherly Love!
Member since 1/08 6209 total posts
Name:
Rafaela
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
What can I say... People are nosey!!! lol
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| Posted 2/10/09 6:56 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
My male neighbor felt the need to yell across the street and ask me when I was having my DD......wierd!
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| Posted 2/10/09 8:08 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
It's like people ask me -- Oh are you her mothr or grandmother?
WT*F??
And this matters to you anyway because......why??? Were you going to get me a Mother's Day card?? (And I am talking about waiters in restaurants and the like - NOT people I know!)
I have no idea why people think they have the right to ask personal questions.
Next time I would ask them...."Well I haven't decided yet, would YOU like to try feeding her and let me know how it goes??" or something similarly snarky...
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| Posted 2/10/09 8:37 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
People are nosey -
and they're looking for a reason to talk about themselvers and their experiences ...........
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| Posted 2/10/09 8:58 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
I hate that question especially when it comes from MEN that I work with 
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| Posted 2/10/09 9:53 PM |
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
I ask my friends/family because we have that type of relationship...to ask THEM is like asking if they plan on using Pampers or Huggies...it's no biggee...the conversation would also end there, unless they choose to continue it.
I would never ask someone I wasn't close with or DIDN'T KNOW (that's a little nuts to me)...
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| Posted 2/10/09 10:07 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Random people asking if you are BF...Spinoff to "if you never wanted to BF"
I think this is a really nosy question and I don't understand why people are so interested in my breasts or the feeding of my child.
Maybe they do it because they have no conversation skills and don't know how to make small talk?
I never ask anyone unless we are in a conversation specifically about it and it seems logical to the conversation.
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| Posted 2/11/09 8:54 AM |
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