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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
My cousin hosted Easter...I am super close and protective of her two adorable kids; I have posted their photos before. Anyway, my other cousin (she's our like, 3rd cousin) was there with her 2 kids. I am not as close to her kids...they are sweet but tend to be wild. We had dinner; the kids were downstairs playing after. Later, my cousin's daughter (not the one I am close to) came up saying "Billie" showed "Marcy" his peener. FYI, Billie is this one's brother; Marcy is my baby girl cousin (she was my flowergirl). The kid's mother and father yelled at him (but VERY casually...nothing that would have "shown" me if I were his age), but they did not act or seem embarrassed. I, on the other hand, was really upset. My DH was like, "What the hell?" And my mom and I looked at each other and I could tell my mom was upset. How traumatizing for my cousin to have to witness...she's 5! I guess I was just shocked, as I don't think this is normal behavior for a kid who is like 6. Or, is it? Anyway, I was really upset about it. And part of me feels like it shouldn't have been blown off. We are all very close; yelling/scolding of the kids happens when we are together. I doubt anything happened when they went home, either. What's your take?
Message edited 4/9/2007 3:14:03 PM.
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Posted 4/9/07 2:43 PM  |
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CookiePuss
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
I don't think it's unusual for children that age to start doing things like that. They are noticing their bodies and differences between boys and girls and I think that is all it was. I think it's normal for children to be curious of all things, the human body being one of them. I don't think it is something that should be punished because that may hinder a healthy feeling for their body. However, I do think that it should have been pointed out that it wasn't an appropriate action for that time and if they have questions about their body or their cousin's, they should ask mommy or daddy.
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| Posted 4/9/07 2:50 PM |
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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
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Team SEXY BACK
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
I think it's normal. I had my own disturbing experience. My neighbor invited me into his garage because he found a "trap door" and to turn around so he could open it. When I turned around he had his pants around his ankles and said "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" - needless to say I bolted out of there 
Don't worry - look at me, I turned out fine.   
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| Posted 4/9/07 2:53 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by shamrock124
I don't think it's unusual for children that age to start doing things like that. They are noticing their bodies and differences between boys and girls and I think that is all it was. I think it's normal for children to be curious of all things, the human body being one of them. I don't think it is something that should be punished because that may hinder a healthy feeling for their body. However, I do think that it should have been pointed out that it wasn't an appropriate action for that time and if they have questions about their body or their cousin's, they should ask mommy or daddy.
it's just that she said he was "chasing" her trying to show it to her. I guess I'm a prude and I have no kids yet so I'm clueless, I admit, but it bothered me. I really do see your point, though. 
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| Posted 4/9/07 2:53 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by Lanabean
Posted by shamrock124
I don't think it's unusual for children that age to start doing things like that. They are noticing their bodies and differences between boys and girls and I think that is all it was. I think it's normal for children to be curious of all things, the human body being one of them. I don't think it is something that should be punished because that may hinder a healthy feeling for their body. However, I do think that it should have been pointed out that it wasn't an appropriate action for that time and if they have questions about their body or their cousin's, they should ask mommy or daddy.
it's just that she said he was "chasing" her trying to show it to her. I guess I'm a prude and I have no kids yet so I'm clueless, I admit, but it bothered me. I really do see your point, though.
I totally understand why it upset you. Him chasing her with his "peepee" is just like chasing her with a worm. They don't see the "peepee" the same way we do because they haven't sexualized it yet.
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| Posted 4/9/07 2:55 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by shamrock124
Posted by Lanabean
Posted by shamrock124
I don't think it's unusual for children that age to start doing things like that. They are noticing their bodies and differences between boys and girls and I think that is all it was. I think it's normal for children to be curious of all things, the human body being one of them. I don't think it is something that should be punished because that may hinder a healthy feeling for their body. However, I do think that it should have been pointed out that it wasn't an appropriate action for that time and if they have questions about their body or their cousin's, they should ask mommy or daddy.
it's just that she said he was "chasing" her trying to show it to her. I guess I'm a prude and I have no kids yet so I'm clueless, I admit, but it bothered me. I really do see your point, though.
I totally understand why it upset you. Him chasing her with his "peepee" is just like chasing her with a worm. They don't see the "peepee" the same way we do because they haven't sexualized it yet.
I see what you mean. Maybe it's just that last week, I found out someone in school told her (the one who came up ratting out her brother) that he wanted to have sex with her, and now yesterday this other kid was chasing my baby girl around! ha ha! They are all so little...I guess times are a changing.
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| Posted 4/9/07 2:57 PM |
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BabyAvocado
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
You said the boy's parents yelled at him, right?
What more do you think they should have done?
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:06 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by Lanabean
I see what you mean. Maybe it's just that last week, I found out someone in school told her (the one who came up ratting out her brother) that he wanted to have sex with her, and now yesterday this other kid was chasing my baby girl around! ha ha! They are all so little...I guess times are a changing.
 and  to what was said to her in school!!!!! I do think that was completely inappropriate for their age.
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:07 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
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The cure IS worse!
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
I THINK it's normal and common but I have nothing to back it up, just my hunch. SO basically, I am NO help.
Sorry you are upset though
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:08 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by BabyAvocado
You said the boy's parents yelled at him, right?
What more do you think they should have done?
Yell is putting it lightly. They also kind of laughed it off. If I did that, or a sibling--it would have been handled differently. There would have been a lesson learned. Or at least an explanation; why you don't do that, etc.
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:11 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by DebG
I THINK it's normal and common but I have nothing to back it up, just my hunch. SO basically, I am NO help.
Sorry you are upset though
ITA
A 10 year old woudl be a different story, but a 6 year old is just learning the differences between boys and girls. Its not sexualized like it is to us yet. I don't think its a big deal.
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:11 PM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by Shelly
Posted by DebG
I THINK it's normal and common but I have nothing to back it up, just my hunch. SO basically, I am NO help.
Sorry you are upset though
ITA
A 10 year old woudl be a different story, but a 6 year old is just learning the differences between boys and girls. Its not sexualized like it is to us yet. I don't think its a big deal.
I agree, kids do this when they are young. They are discovering the parts of their body
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:14 PM |
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MrsT
Enjoying wedded bliss.....
Member since 4/06 1323 total posts
Name:
Katrina
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
I think it's normal. DH had a similar experience with the daughter of his ex and her male cousin. They were about 6 years old and he caught them playing "show & tell". This happened before his son was a toddler and the girl is 17 (today in fact) and DH's son is 12 (today  ) so at the most she was 7.
DH freaked out and spanked them both.
Message edited 4/9/2007 3:16:37 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:14 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Actually his parents did the right thing. If they were to yell at him it could give him poor self body image. At their age it is completely normal. He got the reaction he was looking for by her running away from him.
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:20 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by Stacey1403
Actually his parents did the right thing. If they were to yell at him it could give him poor self body image. At their age it is completely normal. He got the reaction he was looking for by her running away from him.
You guys are good! I appreciate these points of view; I swear, I hadn't thought of any of that...
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:22 PM |
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BabyAvocado
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by Lanabean
Yell is putting it lightly. They also kind of laughed it off. If I did that, or a sibling--it would have been handled differently. There would have been a lesson learned. Or at least an explanation; why you don't do that, etc.
I'm confused...you said "yell is putting it lightly" which makes me think they did alot more than yelling (screamed at him?)... but then you say they laughed it off. If they did both then I can see that as being confusing for the child, he's not getting a clear message that it's not an ok thing to do.
If you mean that they handled the whole matter too non-chalantly for your taste, my guess is it could be because they didn't want to make a big deal about it because sometimes kids do things solely for the attention they get out of it. So if you make a big fuss, they just do it more.
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:23 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by BabyAvocado
Posted by Lanabean
Yell is putting it lightly. They also kind of laughed it off. If I did that, or a sibling--it would have been handled differently. There would have been a lesson learned. Or at least an explanation; why you don't do that, etc.
I'm confused...you said "yell is putting it lightly" which makes me think they did alot more than yelling (screamed at him?)... but then you say they laughed it off. If they did both then I can see that as being confusing for the child, he's not getting a clear message that it's not an ok thing to do.
If you mean that they handled the whole matter too non-chalantly for your taste, my guess is it could be because they didn't want to make a big deal about it because sometimes kids do things solely for the attention they get out of it. So if you make a big fuss, they just do it more.
i guess it was nonchalant; at first, my cousin yelled, but then she started laughing--the whole thing was weird if you ask me. Even the way the girl came up and started to say "peener." When I was her age, if something like that were to happen, I would have been shy and maybe whispered what happened in my mommy's ear. Call me weird, I guess.
Message edited 4/9/2007 3:26:43 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:26 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
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Jackie
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by Stacey1403
Actually his parents did the right thing. If they were to yell at him it could give him poor self body image. At their age it is completely normal. He got the reaction he was looking for by her running away from him.
Exactly. It's age appropriate for children to be exploring their bodies and noticing the differences. The last thing you want is for a child to feel shame in reference to his/her body. The best thing a parent can do is gently tell the child that he should not go showing his parts to other children, but it is okay to look at them in private and to ask mommy and daddy questions about them.
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:28 PM |
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BabyAvocado
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by Jax430
Exactly. It's age appropriate for children to be exploring their bodies and noticing the differences. The last thing you want is for a child to feel shame in reference to his/her body. The best thing a parent can do is gently tell the child that he should not go showing his parts to other children, but it is okay to look at them in private and to ask mommy and daddy questions about them.
This sounds right to me. *Filing it away for future use*
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:34 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
I think it's totally normal at that age actually. I remember (I have a crazy memory) playing "Dr." with boys AND girls around age 5 or 6 or younger...they are just curious.
Message edited 4/9/2007 3:43:44 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/07 3:43 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
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Lisa
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
I wouldn't be too upset. Like others have said, they don't look at it the way we do. They don't even know what sex is. It's normal for kids to act that way.
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| Posted 4/9/07 4:08 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
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Kim
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Totally normal.... when I worked in daycare, the kids in the pre-school room were the worst with showing each other their private parts... we really had to keep a close eye on them for this  
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| Posted 4/9/07 4:14 PM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
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Danielle
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
I think the act of doing what the kid did is somewhat normal at that age-- b/c they are realizing differences between girls and boys BUT they should have really scolded him-- I mean a big "time out" and an apology to the girl... And a BIG, LONG discussion about how THAT is all-together WRONG and inappropriate NO MATTER WHAT.
If it were me (and I was a boy) my Mom would have beat the ever-living shiit out of me. But yes, times HAVE changed and that's why a lot of kids get away with certain things nowadays.
So sorry for the little girl, that stinks 
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| Posted 4/9/07 4:50 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by DaniRella
I think the act of doing what the kid did is somewhat normal at that age-- b/c they are realizing differences between girls and boys BUT they should have really scolded him-- I mean a big "time out" and an apology to the girl... And a BIG, LONG discussion about how THAT is all-together WRONG and inappropriate NO MATTER WHAT.
If it were me (and I was a boy) my Mom would have beat the ever-living shiit out of me. But yes, times HAVE changed and that's why a lot of kids get away with certain things nowadays.
So sorry for the little girl, that stinks
thanks--you totally get how i feel about it!
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| Posted 4/9/07 5:09 PM |
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2girlsforme
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XXXXXXXXX
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Re: Really disturbed/upset by something that happened at Easter
Posted by Shelly
Posted by DebG
I THINK it's normal and common but I have nothing to back it up, just my hunch. SO basically, I am NO help.
Sorry you are upset though
ITA
A 10 year old would be a different story, but a 6 year old is just learning the differences between boys and girls. Its not sexualized like it is to us yet. I don't think its a big deal.
Agree completely. I have a 4 and 9 year old, and while I wouldn't have been happy about this occurrence, I would have spoken to them privately at home about its inappropriateness. Hopefully, the boy's parents did the same.
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| Posted 4/9/07 5:10 PM |
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