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NewLeaf2012
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 2741 total posts
Name:
....
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Retirement Party- Question
A friend of my late husband retired from his job and put out a message that he is having a retirement party for himself... I was invited.. It is at a nice place on the island. I got the actual invite today and it said cost per person is $70... I have been to other retirement parties where we didn't pay anything but gave monetary gifts... If I go, I can't afford a gift now. That will make m feel bad. Is it normal to charge people to go to a retirement party? To me it is like going to a shower or other type of party. Is it weird or just me.
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Posted 5/15/15 10:53 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Those invites get a decline.
I find it exceptionally rude to throw a party for yourself and then charge people to attend. If you can't afford it, don't have the party.
If you do choose to go, consider your presence the present.
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| Posted 5/16/15 7:18 AM |
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Blubtrflygrl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/15 609 total posts
Name:
allison
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Posted by SusiBee
Those invites get a decline.
I find it exceptionally rude to throw a party for yourself and then charge people to attend. If you can't afford it, don't have the party.
If you do choose to go, consider your presence the present.
I agree.
Very tacky.
I'd decline and say unfortunately you have a prior obligation.
I'm throwing DH a party at the end of the summer and having it at my house (outside) even though the inside is upside down due to construction.....to save money.
I can't imagine charging guests to come!!??
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| Posted 5/16/15 7:32 AM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Ive never heard of charging people to come to your own party. What the heck is that! Id decline even if i was rich lol
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| Posted 5/16/15 7:37 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Posted by Lara&Aidansmommy
Ive never heard of charging people to come to your own party. What the heck is that! Id decline even if i was rich lol
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| Posted 5/16/15 7:42 AM |
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
When someone retires at my job, people pay to go. Usually it's around $40 and The cost includes a gift. $75 is a lot of money
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| Posted 5/16/15 7:52 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Posted by haveaquestion
When someone retires at my job, people pay to go. Usually it's around $40 and The cost includes a gift. $75 is a lot of money
Who is throwing the party?
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| Posted 5/16/15 7:56 AM |
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
I feel like in terms of retirement parties, that is pretty typical. They don't expect gifts, they expect you to go to the party. So I would go and just not give a gift. Maybe a card. However, $70 is kind of a lot of money.
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| Posted 5/16/15 8:01 AM |
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Blubtrflygrl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/15 609 total posts
Name:
allison
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Posted by haveaquestion
When someone retires at my job, people pay to go. Usually it's around $40 and The cost includes a gift. $75 is a lot of money
I know that some industries do this, but I would imagine this is typically known up front and most of the people at those parties are colleagues.
I'm pretty sure this is how it was when my mom was a teacher. Only immediate family was at the reception hall though.
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| Posted 5/16/15 8:08 AM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
Name:
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
This is how it is done in my job, the cost usually includes $10-$15 for a group gift. Whether it does or not I do not feel like you need to give anything.
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| Posted 5/16/15 8:15 AM |
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iluvmynutty
Mom to E&M
Member since 12/08 1762 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
My boss is retiring in June and one of the superintendents of the SD sent invites, $70, includes gift, wine/beer/food (it's at someone's house)... I can't afford it, but can't not attend...
Message edited 5/16/2015 11:23:37 AM.
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| Posted 5/16/15 11:21 AM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Posted by Blubtrflygrl
Posted by SusiBee
Those invites get a decline.
I find it exceptionally rude to throw a party for yourself and then charge people to attend. If you can't afford it, don't have the party.
If you do choose to go, consider your presence the present.
I agree.
Very tacky.
I'd decline and say unfortunately you have a prior obligation.
I'm throwing DH a party at the end of the summer and having it at my house (outside) even though the inside is upside down due to construction.....to save money.
I can't imagine charging guests to come!!??
I agree with this word-for-word.
I have never heard of charging people for a party that the host himself is throwing. I understand (kinda) the idea of a company or department organizing a retirement party and having all attendees chip in for it.
I find this to be tacky and puts pressure on guests to pay for this guy's soirée. I would absolutely not go. I probably wouldn't even RSVP. Funk dat.
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| Posted 5/16/15 11:40 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Retirement Party- Question
It sounds to me like the whole "company organizing the party" doesn't apply here because you don't work with him. Something like that would be normally thrown by coworkers, for the retiree and the people they have worked with, not personal friends/family.
I likely would send regrets and a card. I agree it is in poor taste.
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| Posted 5/16/15 2:24 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Retirement Party- Question
Are you sure he is throwing it himself and it's not the company retirement party? If it is the company party, we do exactly as stated, pay a fee and that includes dinner and a gift. No additional gift necessary. If he is truly throwing the party for himself then that is super tacky and I would decline.
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| Posted 5/16/15 2:27 PM |
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NewLeaf2012
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 2741 total posts
Name:
....
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
When my husband retired in 2010, a few other guys that year retired, so they had a group retirement party for everyone. We didn't pay anything to go as the other co-workers raised the money themselves and what ever was left over, was given to the retirees as gifts..
This guy has opened the invitation to everyone, family and friends and is charging everyone... It is at catering hall so it is like going to a wedding IMO.... You don't charge your guests for that... I am not sure what I am going to do. This guy was one of my husbands closest friends..
Message edited 5/16/2015 2:33:04 PM.
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| Posted 5/16/15 2:31 PM |
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Blubtrflygrl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/15 609 total posts
Name:
allison
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Maybe send a nice card and call it a day?
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| Posted 5/16/15 4:37 PM |
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by haveaquestion
When someone retires at my job, people pay to go. Usually it's around $40 and The cost includes a gift. $75 is a lot of money
Who is throwing the party?
I don't know who organizes it. There willbe an invite posted on the bulletin board saying say John doe is retiring. I have never known any of the retirees so I don't know if they hand out the invitations to their friends.
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| Posted 5/16/15 8:33 PM |
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Poppyseed79
LIF Adult
Member since 10/14 935 total posts
Name:
"Reg"
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Posted by Blubtrflygrl
Maybe send a nice card and call it a day?
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| Posted 5/16/15 8:46 PM |
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sunnyflies
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1757 total posts
Name:
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Posted by Poppyseed79
Posted by Blubtrflygrl
Maybe send a nice card and call it a day?
I would decline without a qualm. However, rather than sending a card, I would write a nice note separately congratulating him on his retirement and telling him how much your husband liked and respected him.
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| Posted 5/17/15 11:41 AM |
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Re: Retirement Party- Question
Can you go and bring a small gift?
If you think it will make you feel good to go, then I'd say maybe see if you can somehow swing it.
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| Posted 5/17/15 2:23 PM |
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