SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

I have to say that yesterday was a tough day.

I even told DH I wanted to go back to work because I just can't keep up. The last thing I would have imagined saying.

I hate feeling sorry for myself but I realized I am just way over my head on the things I do.

I work every weekend Sat and Sundays. So I can never catch up when DH is home since we have opposite schedule. Because of the fact that I am a SAHM during the week, we don't hire anyone to do anything in the house. We just don't have the budget for it really.

DH is allergic to grass so I take care of mowing the lawn, weeds, fertilize, etc. I have 100+ plants to create planting beds for. I am dealing with digging (we have clay, rocks and roots all over our yard! so it makes it very physical to dig!), weeds all my planting beds. We have almost a FT job with DS' therapies. I am always rushing. My break is when he naps and I can swallow some cheese and salami while catching up with shows I have on the DVR. Yesterday he only took 1 hour nap.

I deal with 2 moron dogs so it's like having 2 other kids.

I am supposed to keep up with the house chores.

I just can't keep up!!! I wish I was super woman but the yard is very labor intensive. I do a very physical job at work and I am supposed to stay on top with the inside.

I tried hiring a mother helper and she comes once in a while but our day is so chopped up that I can't have her come for just 1 hour between sessions.

DH does help (except the yard) but he works all day too.

Am the only one who feels this is just too much?

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

ALL the time!!!!

And I have half the amount of "Work" you do. I cannot imagine how you keep up with all the therapies and stay sane.

You need to give yoruself a LOT more credit! We only have 3 therapies a week ( an hr each) and I LOVE when they cancel so I dont have to make sure we are all dressed, house not a mess etc ...

With a toddler, you simply cannot get much done if no one is around to help...your NOT alone in this. You have to watch them, period...

Hold on , it will get easier ( so they tell me).

Your just having a rough time right now and that is OK. Don't beat yourself up over it. Your an amazing mom!!!!!!!!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

It is a lot!

I look around my house at times and am like
I was in the hospital for a month and thank goodness DH and my inlaws (Thank GOODNESS for them) kept on top of stuff...
Now my days consist of DS' therapy sessions, running to NICU, Taking DS to school (hes there now...I came home to throw in a load of laundry for DD) and leave in a few to go pick DS up.
DH works FT M-F.
Our weekends are spent "straightening up" and going to NICU.

Yes..DS "should be" in a Big boy bed by now in his own Big Boy Room.

Yes...The nursery "should be" ready for DD by now (my c section wouldve been next week)...

Because of the unexpected, NONE of this got done..
You know what I say..It WILL get done! I just take everything one day at a time! Do a chore here one day, another chore here the next!
Yes, I am on here now, and Yes, I'll be on at nap time after the laundry is finished and the den is "straightened up".

What I have found easy is I clean the kitchen and den while DS is eating breakfast since these are the only 2 rooms down here and its the 2 rooms the therapists use as well!

Just take a deep breath! Take it one day at a time, one "chore" at a time! I promise, it works!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

No, you're not the only one overwhelmed. I am home right now with my 3 year old and a newborn. My newborn cries ALOT and wants to be held, or I have to stand over her holding the binkie in her mouth most of the day. Occasionally I get small breaks where I can do things like dress my 3 year old or make bottles or to on LIF while I shove a sandwich in my face. My house desperately needs a good cleaning, and we've done nothing outside yet other than buy flowers that are just sitting in the pots on the front steps. They may not make it into the hanging baskets this year but at this point I don't care.

DH lets me go take a nap when he comes home from work so then it is just him with the 2 girls for a few hours. He does this because I'm only getting about 3 hours of sleep a night and I really need that nap in the evening. When I tell him about all the work that needs to be done he just says "don't worry -- it will get done". I don't know who he thinks is going to do it. He can't pump BM for me and he doesn't know how to make DD's bottles, but he can do some of the other things -- he just doesn't think it is top on the list of priorities. He will hold my newborn all evening so she doesn't cry, but I think he is just making it harder for us because I think she is getting used to being held all the time.

Anyway, not trying to hijack your post, but you're not alone. Hopefully that will give you a small piece of consolation.

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

There's no getting around it, it's tough.

I was a SAHM until DS was 11 months. I find that the house is actually neater during the week now that I am back at work, because there is no one there to mess it up. Last week, I was home with DS 2 days because he was sick. So we were home Thurs-Sun. The house is a disaster, and it is definitely harder to keep up with him and keep him out of trouble than when he was not mobile. I am not planting anything new this year, but trying to just keep up with all the weeding and trimming of the stuff that's already out there is difficult.

You have to just let some of it go, you can't do it all. Give yourself a break and try to just get done what really HAS to get done. I don't love the fact that the house is a mess when people drop by, but then I remember I have an 18 month old. If people are going to think harshly of me for a messy house (inside or outside) then they don't need to come over.

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

you are not alone...i am a mess with a toddler and infant to the point that i sometimes want to just run away ...

BEST thing i did - got a cleaning lady. seriously, find the budget. even if you have to eat ramen noodles for a week, DO IT, it will make things so much easier. justify it as being something temporary (although in my case i don't think i'll ever stop now )...

DH works crazy late hours so i'm pretty much doing everything solo. he cuts the grass on the weekend, but i told him i was going to hire a kid who is home from college to do it. i need ME TIME and outside work was taking too much time away from him spending with the kids and me getting to do what i need to keep sane...

GET HELP, it is soooooooooooo worth it!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

It sounds like maintaining the outside takes a ton of time, can you hire landscapers? That will probably make your life so much easier to not have to worry about it.

As for the inside of the house - you know this already, it will all get done when you have the time. I know it's hard to look at and deal with it, but it will get done in time. Also - maybe you want to consider hiring a cleaning person to come every other week? That is my life saver! It is sooooo worth the 80.00.

Maybe those two things will help you out a bit more than the mother's helper since you are dealing with so many different times with therapists right now.

And know, we all have horrible days, you are so not alone!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

I work full time and have a toddler and I feel overwhelmed too, you are not alone.

We all do so much, there is never enough time, you have to all the lawn stuff around your toddler-and I know from my own DD that that is impossible.

I'm hoping it gets easier as DD gets older and can play more independently, but I think I am kidding myself.

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

All the time! Especially now pg with morning sickness - I'm barely treading water here! We have good days and bad...I think this is how it is. If you have no help at all besides DH and DH works all the time (which is our story here lately) it is sooo hard!!!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

i wanted to post the same thing but had no time....

josh's rigid schedule, him being in the TERRIBLE 2's and sensory seeking, a refluxy infant, 1+ hour melas 3x a day which have become all out battles, trying to juggle the 2 and make sure josh is having fun, etc etc...


i can barely clean up after our daily stuff, forget the backyard and real cleaning. my poor pets are totally neglected too.

you do too much...we all do. can u just let the garden go a bit? you need a break and that is much more important.

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

I am a SAHM and yes I feel that way often. If you could see my house now you would but I just have no energy to clean up any more. It's been a long and busy morning
It's def not easy, whether you are a SAHM or FWM every day is a challenge.

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

Not a SAHM, but I do know the overwhelmed feeling quite well on the weekends.

Those of you with toddlers, have you tried doing the chores "with" them?

Sure, it takes twice as long but I feel like I'm at least being productive then.

Logan loves to stand on a chair and put the clothes in the washer one by one.

While he does that I'm right next to him folding the dry clothes.

I let him load all of his sippies and plastic ware in the dishwasher while I rinse the breakables and put them in.

He HAS to clean up his toys at the end of the night before bed. I have baskets to make it easy for him to just throw them in there, but the difference it has made in my nighttime routine is HUGE.

I think you get my point, but I wanted to mention it in case you hadn't tried it.

He feels he's getting mommy time, I'm getting something that needs to get done done without leaving him alone.

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

we only get EI once a week and are totally thrown off on those days.

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

I feel overwhelmes most days, and I don't cut our grass or do the edging! We also don't have EI, though it seems as if there is always some doctor's appt. for myself or DH mainly--we both have health issues that require lots of doctor's visits and monitoring. It gets so annoying at times, though it doesn't take up as much time as the services you have now.

I agree with others, some things have to get let go. You said the cost is a problem, but hiring a landscaper to just cut the grass is a lot cheaper than I thought it would be and totally worth it--it's $25 a week for ours. They also do the edging and clean the walks, so I also don't have to spend much time sweeping each week. And they do the fall leaf cleanup for much less money than It's if you hire someone to do it one time. Just mentioning in case you can squeeze this in. I do all our gardening, weeding, lawn treatments, etc. It takes up a lot of time, and I basically set goals for the season that are pretty modest. This year I wanted to fill in bare patches in our front garden, the back perrenial garden and plant some things on the side of the house. That I could do. I would love to plant shrubs along the back of our property, pull out a dying shrub, and put a couple in our front yard, but time and money are an issue, so that's it for the year. From here on out I am doing maintenance, which takes lots of time. I'm not sure what you plant, but I would skip a lot of veggies and annuals right now, all of those plants take up time.

As for a toddler, they suck up so much of the day, no question. You can't stick them in a seat or a pack and play and go clean quickly, and you can't leave them alone for a minute, so there are serious limits to what you can do. Plus their mission seems to be to tear the house apart every day, which is at odds with ours. I am exhausted every night when DH comes home--he doesn't do housework, but he does a lot of repairs and auto maintenance on weekends, or watches DS so I can have some time to myself. So I think you have to let some things go.

I agree with a PP. Have DS help you here and there. Granted the help may not be huge, but he'll probably love playing around with new things, and he'll also love thinking he is helpful and doing the things a big person does. DS helps we swiffer (we have two of these, so I use one, he uses another), sweep, vacuum, spray for weeds (using a vinegar/water solution), and water the plants. He waters himself more than the plants, but I get something done, and he is playing in a way, so we're both happy.

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

Thank you ladies!

I feel that it's either the inside or the outside. If I take care of the yard/garden, the inside suffers.

If I stay on top of the inside, the outside is a mess.

I will look into a cleaning lady and see if this is feasable for me and $$$

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

I don't have a toddler, but I am a WAHM of two infants and I feel overwhelmed all the time. Between working and taking care of DC I don't have time to do anything. There is laundry everywhere, the house is a complete disaster, I don't even eat breakfast or lunch most days.

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

I am a SAHM - but I recently started a business so I guess I am a WAHM mom.

Before I started working I had a cleaning lady every other week, and we have a landscaper as well (otherwise I am not sure you would see my house!)

Now that I am working more I have the cleaning lady every week, and after posting on here that I was overwhelmed I hired a secretary as well.

In addition, my dog groomer comes to my house, and I order peapod when needed.

I cannot duplicate myself. I have realized that I need to come to terms with that and that sometimes being a woman who does it all, means delegating to those who can handle it better than I can. At the end of the day the most important thing is spending time with my daughter. I allow work to take me away from her at times, so I try not to let much else get in the way.

Sometimes I think I am being lazy not doing it all myself, and sometimes I think i am a genious!!


At the end of the day I thikn it is about prioritizing and doing what makes you happy. Happy mom = happy family!!!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

I could have written this myself!!!!

I feel like my house is constantly a wreck and that I can't keep up. I work p/t as well only 2-3 days a week but I am just as exhausted after work on those days as I am spending the whole day with DS when I'm home...I almost think going to work is easier.

I'm 6 mo. pregnant now and starting to have problems with my back like I did when I was pregnant with DS so it's hard for me to pick him up or hold him. He likes to be outside ALL the time...so the past couple of days it's been raining have been horrible with his whining and temper tantrums. I have to keep him busy but some days I would love to just be able to sit on the couch and relax but with a toddler you just can't do it.

I am overwhelmed thinking about all that I have to do to prepare for this baby due in Sept. We have been working on DS's big boy room for a few weeks now b/c we just can't get it all done in 1 weekend b/c of DH's crazy schedule...we only really have Sundays together where neither one of us is working. That makes it hard to get a lot done especially with a toddler running around.

You're not alone!!!

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

One other thought which sounds obvious, but it's helpful to me to remind myself of this. I am a SAHM so I can be a mom, period. Not so I can do yardwork or clean the house, if there was no DS I would be at work still.

It just helps me put things in perspective, drop the sponge and play with DS.

Re: SAHM of toddlers - do you feel overwhelmed sometimes? Mini Vent!

You aren't alone!