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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
** deleted the story***..but Thanks everyone!!
Message edited 4/12/2007 10:27:24 AM.
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Posted 4/12/07 10:05 AM  |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
Jeez, how heartbreaking for her brother.....I can't believe that nothing is being put into some sort of savings for him! And to lavish things for her son while her brother has old clothes and does all the chores? The only thing I would/could do is to have a heart-to-heart with her....what else can you do?
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:14 AM |
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sweetie
Member since 8/06 1730 total posts
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Re: Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
Honestly, I would say stay out of it.
But coming from someone who works with SS, you can always call & report that the payee (your friend) is not using the benefits for the claimant's best interest. Basically, they might suspend his benefits & send a report for her to fill out in order to account for what she does with the money (of course she will lie on this report). If they find her to be misusing the money, they will appoint a new payee & she won't receive it anymore.
Like I said before though, I would stay out of this. She is living with him (I'm assuming he would have trouble living on his own) & you never really know what goes on with people, only what they tell you. How do you even know how much $$ he gets?
ETS: How do you know she wasn't living off the money that her mother gave her while her bf was out of work?
Message edited 4/12/2007 10:18:25 AM.
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:17 AM |
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stayandjohn
Our life is complete
Member since 5/05 5909 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
They are absolutely cheating the brother out of his $$. They need to be reported.
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:17 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
Posted by sweetie
Honestly, I would say stay out of it.
But coming from someone who works with SS, you can always call & report that the payee (your friend) is not using the benefits for the claimant's best interest. Basically, they might suspend his benefits & send a report for her to fill out in order to account for what she does with the money (of course she will lie on this report). If they find her to be misusing the money, they will appoint a new payee & she won't receive it anymore.
Like I said before though, I would stay out of this. She is living with him (I'm assuming he would have trouble living on his own) & you never really know what goes on with people, only what they tell you. How do you even know how much $$ he gets?
ETS: How do you know she wasn't living off the money that her mother gave her while her bf was out of work?
I agree with this. The onl yother thing I might try & find out is if her brother is not able to live by himself, and he qualifies for SS, is he on a wait list for a group home? I know they take forever, as my brother has been on a wait list for many years, but if she is making no effort to try & better his life & utilizing his SS money improperly for her gain, then I can understand where you find exception to what she is doing.
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:20 AM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
Posted by sweetie
Honestly, I would say stay out of it.
But coming from someone who works with SS, you can always call & report that the payee (your friend) is not using the benefits for the claimant's best interest. Basically, they might suspend his benefits & send a report for her to fill out in order to account for what she does with the money (of course she will lie on this report). If they find her to be misusing the money, they will appoint a new payee & she won't receive it anymore.
Like I said before though, I would stay out of this. She is living with him (I'm assuming he would have trouble living on his own) & you never really know what goes on with people, only what they tell you. How do you even know how much $$ he gets?
ETS: How do you know she wasn't living off the money that her mother gave her while her bf was out of work?
When her mom passed away I was living with her at first to "help" her out. She is my BF..she tells me just about everything and told me how much he was getting and gets. As for the money her mom left..it's tied up in mutual funds. She only used a portion of it to pay for the coop.
I plan to stay out of it..I just needed to vent because I feel bad for him.
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:21 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
stay out of it. that is the best advice IMO. you may see things she is buying for herself and her son. but without her, her brother would be in a Gov't institution. KWIM?
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:23 AM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
stay out of it. that is the best advice IMO. you may see things she is buying for herself and her son. but without her, her brother would be in a Gov't institution. KWIM?
Thanks everyone...for allowing me to vent.
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:25 AM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
stay out of it. that is the best advice IMO. you may see things she is buying for herself and her son. but without her, her brother would be in a Gov't institution. KWIM?
This is why I asked if he is on a list for a group home (and many of them are good places & are not like the old gov't run facilities). If he is on a wait list & this ever came to light he'd be pushed to the top of the list b/c of an emergency change in their situation.
No offense to your friend, but they also need to make sure that they have a plan in case heaven forbid something happens to them.
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:25 AM |
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Tracey
***********
Member since 5/05 6297 total posts
Name:
Tracey - brideinapril
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Re: Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
That makes me so sad for the brother!!!
But, like the other posters said, I would stay out of it.
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:25 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Serious question..Long story..but wanted your input
Posted by sweetie
Honestly, I would say stay out of it.
But coming from someone who works with SS, you can always call & report that the payee (your friend) is not using the benefits for the claimant's best interest. Basically, they might suspend his benefits & send a report for her to fill out in order to account for what she does with the money (of course she will lie on this report). If they find her to be misusing the money, they will appoint a new payee & she won't receive it anymore.
I work for SS and this was the first thing that popped into my mind. You can do that anonymously.
Is he happy? I think you should stay out of it but please, try to mention that she should plan for his future. He needs a guardian in case anything happens to her and he needs funds for the future.
My sister and brother in law are in the process of drawing up a VERY specific will for my nephew, who is also autistic. I am responsible for his care if anything should happen to him and I have already started a fund for him.
Good Luck! This made me so sad  sometimes I forget that all special need children/people don't have the support system that my family has created.
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| Posted 4/12/07 10:33 AM |
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