Sex

It's been 10 days since the d&c. Dr said no sex for 4 weeks - that means we can again NYE (which seems like an enternity away).....How am I going to wait that long??

I am dying to Do you think it's my horomones? Or just b/c I want to feel close? We usually never go this long without it to begin with and under these circumstances we are both so horny. It's like we both "need" it and can't have it. I know I need it - it's all I have been thinking about all weekend, before bed, when I wake up - I feel like a man! I can't get DH off my mind..

This whole situation stinks with the no sex, waiting for 3 periods to try again, waiting for test results about why this happened - it seems like all I am doing is being sad and waiting...

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I think its a good sign that you feel that way...

i was the opposite... i didnt want anything to do with him... i was also bleeding for a month... which really made me feel crappy and not in the mood...

i was also scared of a rupture if we had sex... that really puts a damper on sexy thoughts lol

we've had sex 2 times since October 9th when i found out i was pregnant... and that was last week.. lol

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I felt the same as you after my D&C. Both DH & I wanted to probably because it was so upsetting and we wanted to feel close I guess. I literally slept inside his arms for a week afterwards.
We were told no for 2 weeks. We on day 13 and let me tell you, my body was NOT healed at all. I was so sore (uterus) for days afterwards. It just ached. So please wait to or have an "O" .. let your body heal .... take care of hubby and do other things but avoid the big O for a few weeks.

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Posted by Elbee

I felt the same as you after my D&C. Both DH & I wanted to probably because it was so upsetting and we wanted to feel close I guess. I literally slept inside his arms for a week afterwards.
We were told no for 2 weeks. We on day 13 and let me tell you, my body was NOT healed at all. I was so sore (uterus) for days afterwards. It just ached. So please wait to or have an "O" .. let your body heal .... take care of hubby and do other things but avoid the big O for a few weeks.

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my doc only said 2 weeks... i wonder why everyone's advice is so different

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Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by PrincessP

Posted by citywife

my doc only said 2 weeks... i wonder why everyone's advice is so different

I bet its how you miscarried. D&C vs natural. Never did they say boo to me about sex and I miscarried natural with help from pills. Maybe you cant bc of the surgical procedure involved? I dont know. As much as you want to BD...I feel like throwing up if we do. I have very different feelings toward all of this. I just want to concieve for closure and to elimiate the current void. It almost feels like its going to be unenjoyable until I am preggo again. Does that make sense?

That is exactly how I feel too. Like it's a "job" until we are pregnant again. Ugh. for all of us right now.

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Posted by Nik211

Posted by mommy2devin

Posted by PrincessP

Posted by citywife

my doc only said 2 weeks... i wonder why everyone's advice is so different

I bet its how you miscarried. D&C vs natural. Never did they say boo to me about sex and I miscarried natural with help from pills. Maybe you cant bc of the surgical procedure involved? I dont know. As much as you want to BD...I feel like throwing up if we do. I have very different feelings toward all of this. I just want to concieve for closure and to elimiate the current void. It almost feels like its going to be unenjoyable until I am preggo again. Does that make sense?

That is exactly how I feel too. Like it's a "job" until we are pregnant again. Ugh. for all of us right now.

i would try not to look at it like that.

when everything first happened we kept saying to eachother we'll just try again almost like that would solve everything (it was the go to phrase when we needed to console one another) i know that i was hoping to try again ASAP (like after 1 cycle) and when the doc said a strict 3 cycles i started tearing up in her office. i wanted try again right away b/c i felt like we would at least be doing something productive/proactive (and i know it may not happen right away - so adding 3 months to the uknown seemed like even more of an eternity away) and deep down i think (more like i KNOW) that my DH wants to try again even more than i do. he took the loss really really hard. he was so excited, attached himself and this was a huge loss for both of us. my DH is one of those hands on type of guys, the ones who are all about delivering the baby themselves , changing diapers, wanting to do feedings. he's the type that dreams about being a dad the way us women dream about being a mom. i think he is more prepared to be a dad than i am mom. so he took it hard and we both did a lot of ugly crying.

but after having 2 weeks to take things in i am starting to take a step back. there was a time in my life (our life) where having a baby wasn't a priority. it wasn't something my life (or ours) revolved around. it was always something i wanted but it didn't always feel so necessary. yesterday i went through a bunch of our pictures and was like wow we have SO MUCH fun together. and then i looked around the house and was like wow, we did all this together (and had fun doing it!) and there is still so much more we can do. it was almost like remembering my old life - before all of "this".

so i am going to take these 3 months/3 cycles and try to use them to not only grieve the loss of our baby and not rush into replacing it BUT to take time to get back to the old us. we have a list of projects that we want to do around the house (that i couldn't help with when i was pregnant), we have company coming in the next month or so and we are planning a road trip for just the two of us. we are trying to give ourselves things to do and look foward to during this time. and luckily we have tons of things we can do the next 3 or so months together that we'll enjoy.

while i don't have an answer to help you not feel that way about sex - i know it is helping me so much to remember the good things in our lives that we had, the fun we had before all of this sadness, that we are capable of being happy without being pregnant or having a baby. it's like i lifted this pressure that *I* put on myself.

that doesn't help with the hurt i feel towards the loss but it helps with those urgent feelings i had about our future.

i am still that 3 cycles will go fast. i that we can still go into it just like last time - no protection and no pressure for it to happen - no "trying" just winging it b/c it worked the first time (and was fun!). i am hoping it works that way again and i don't become a nut when it's do or die time.

sorry so long - i'm just trying to give a different perspective b/c it's helping me and it's helping me to feel this closeness to my husband. we went through 1 week of absolute hell together. it was the worst thing that has happened to either of us and we shared it. we both had the same hurt. and we got through the hardest week of our lives "together". so it's a bond we have now that makes us even closer than ever. even knowing that helps.

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I didn't want to quote the quotes to make this so long..... BUT you girls are amazing. I have tears running down my cheeks at work reading your words. They are SO true and I really REALLY need to practice what you guys are (Vicki, what you have successfully accomplished).

It wasn't a job before so it shouldn't be now. Thank you so much for giving me that perspective back. I think I will TRY to just have fun and see what happens. Thank you all, SO MUCH!