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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
So, my cousin is due in Oct. She emailed me her registry...almost everything she registered for, I have.
She came down last Nov, and surprised me with a big shower. All of NY gave her money to come down to NC and give me a huge shower.
so....is it wrong of me not to give up my swing, carseat, bumbo, baby clothes?
I already feel bad for my #2...josh is a messy eater and I try to keep everything clean. But if my gear has to last me 3 kids..do I really need another one wearing out my stuff? Also, she has a puppy...what if it gets chew happy on my things?
tia!
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Posted 6/26/07 10:03 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
Things were purchased for YOU.
Especially since you are planning to have #2 I would not so easily hand-over everything I have to her.
I have kinda the same situation with DH's cousin. She just had a baby girl and doesn't have a lot of money. I am LENDING her my bassinett and I give her things I no longer need or want, but she's not getting all of my stuff - no way!
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:07 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
I'm a little confused - if she is registered for the stuff - what makes you think she is looking for you to give her your stuff? It sounds like she wants new stuff.
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:08 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
Since you are going to have more kids, then no you dont have to lend out your stuff, I would just tell her that! I'm sure she will understand.
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:09 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
I would never give up my stuff since I am saving it for #2. My neice is 2 months older so I was very generous in letting her use stuff before Grace could. But I drew the line when my SIL asked if she could use our swing since DD didn't really like it. NO! I don't want it ruined in case #2 loves it!
Oh, and just as DD is about to grow out of it, of course she adores the thing
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:17 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
She registered for my stuff...she wants to use my carseat base. She was kidding around, sort of, and told me to keep all my baby's clothes clean.
She registered for her SIL's same bassinet...with hopes that the girl who lent it to her SIL won't ask for it back right away so she can use it.
She has about 70 people coming to shower, so she isn't hard up..just wants a lot of things.
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:19 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
No. You aren't being unreasonable.
Maybe she is nervous she won't get everything that she needs? But if 70 people are coming to her shower she will be FINE (I had 27 and got everything I needed!).
If it comes up before the shower, just tell her to hang tight until after the shower, that you are sure she will get what she needs. And I am sure she will and it won't even come up
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:22 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
I think her plan is to get things, and have stuff for her house and things for her mother's house.
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| Posted 6/26/07 10:35 PM |
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pugmama
April already?
Member since 3/06 5297 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
My sil and I share things. After my nephew was born she lent me so much. When my niece was born I gave it all back. I understand wanting to keep things nice but some stuff is easy to wash and is so much money and only used for a short time so why not lend it out.
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| Posted 6/27/07 9:40 AM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
I am not so great about sharing stuff like that, and especially if you are planning on using the stuff again for baby #2, I wouldn't lend it to her. It sounds like most likely she is going to get the stuff she needs from her shower. Does she really NEED to have 2 of everything to have at her mom's? Has she already asked you to borrow your stuff?
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| Posted 6/27/07 9:46 AM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
I really don't have anyone to share my stuff with, but if I did, I probably wouldn't until I knew the baby factory was closed. And I think that is totally understandable. I would never ask to borrow someone's baby gear if I knew they would be having more kids, but that is just me.
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| Posted 6/27/07 10:28 AM |
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apb17
My guys
Member since 5/06 2173 total posts
Name:
Alli
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
Do not feel obligated to share. They were purchased for you and your children and if you know you will be needing them again, you may not get them back in the condition you lent them.
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| Posted 6/27/07 11:17 AM |
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snuggleupagus
I'm a rolling machine.
Member since 9/06 2064 total posts
Name:
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
Posted by apb17
Do not feel obligated to share. They were purchased for you and your children and if you know you will be needing them again, you may not get them back in the condition you lent them.
I agree. I hope to need all my things again and so right now, I couldn't really contmeplate lending them out after I don't need them because I may never see them again or be able to use them due to abuse. Since there are 6 years between my 2 kids, this is the 2nd time I've had to buy everything new. Luckilly I got a lot of the $$$ stuff at the shower, but I doubt I have a shower with a 3rd child, I only had one this time because of the time between and this being my DH's first child.
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| Posted 6/27/07 11:28 AM |
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JessieQ
Rest in Peace baby Rogan
Member since 6/07 1122 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: sharing your baby gear? am I unreasonable?
Posted by Janice
She registered for my stuff...she wants to use my carseat base. She was kidding around, sort of, and told me to keep all my baby's clothes clean.
She registered for her SIL's same bassinet...with hopes that the girl who lent it to her SIL won't ask for it back right away so she can use it.
She has about 70 people coming to shower, so she isn't hard up..just wants a lot of things.
I think it's a little rude to assume her SIL would let her use a bassinett that someone ELSE lent to her, I know if I lent stuff to someone I would assume only they would use it.
As far as lending and giving baby stuff to family/friends, I was blessed with a few aunts who gave me their old baby equipment and clothes, they grow out of their stuff so quickly and it would be a shame if they were hardly used! I know some of the things I was given I had already (like a car seat and pack-n-play) so I was able to leave theirs at my mom's house. But I never assumed they would give me anything, and I actually never even asked, they just offered (they're done with having kids). If they were still planning more kids I don't think they would have given me the stuff, and if they did I would only borrow it if they insisted.
I don't think you should feel obligated to lend her your stuff, I'm sure as her cousin and as someone close to her (I'm assuming since she threw you a shower) you will be buying her gifts yourself. And as someone else said, if she will have a huge shower I'm sure she will be set with anything, so if she "hints" about borrowing your stuff, either play it off that you don't get the hint, tell her to wait after the shower, or just remind her that you are hoping to have another child in the near future and don't want to risk needing it back while her child is still using the equipment.
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| Posted 6/27/07 11:45 AM |
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