Should I give money?

My daughter's school is having a book fair and we were told to send our child to school with an envelope with their name and $10-$20 in it for the kid to buy a book.

While waiting to pick up DD from school my wife was chatting with another mother who said that things have been tough for them and they were actually living in a shelter.

I'm thinking it would be pretty tough for them to come up with the envelope (or maybe it won't be, I dont know) - so I was thinking of giving an extra envelope for their kid.

But how do I do it without the mom feeling weird about it?

Just write an envelope with their kids name and have my daughter turn in her and that kid's envelope?

But shouldn't I let the mom know ahead of time so (if it is tough for them) she wouldn't have to stress about having to come up with the money?

Message edited 12/5/2019 3:37:24 PM.

Should I give money?

that's so sweet of you. How about you give the envelope to the teacher to give to the child?

Should I give money?

Thats what I meant by:
Just write an envelope with their kids name and have my daughter turn in her and that kid's envelope?

But (I'm a worry wart) if I was in their position, I would be stressed everyday thinking "The book fair is in X days, how will I come up with the money, what do I tell my kid, what should I do"

So how do I let the mom know "Dont stress, I got you covered"

Should I give money?

I'd let the teacher know immediately that you plan to cover it and she can send a note home with the child.
So nice. Happy holidays.

Re: Should I give money?

Re: Should I give money?

Re: Should I give money?

How thoughtful of you! I would probably just contact the teacher letting him/her know that you will be sending in a envelope for book $ for them, I don't think there would be any questions asked.

Re: Should I give money?

That is a lovely thing to do. I would send the envelope with the child's name on it and call it a day. They are living in a shelter and Christmas is in a few weeks. I think the book fair is the least of their worries right now. When their child comes home with a book I'm sure they will be surprised and grateful.

Re: Should I give money?

I definitely wouldn't want to make the teacher aware of the fact that the child is living in a shelter. I don't know what the laws are but what if the shelter is out of district and technically they should be attending another school? Will you see the mom? If you could have it ready at pick up or drop off I would just give it to them there and say Happy Holidays. That's my worry wartness coming thru....

Should I give money?

So very thoughtful of you. I would just send in a money with the child's name. You can include the words random act of kindness just for you! I don't think the mom is stressing over the book fair, too much on her plate. Also, not everyone buys from book fairs. My kids sometimes did and sometimes browsed.

Re: Should I give money?

I think you could send in an envelope with the children's name and " book fair money"on it. Have your child give it to the teacher. I am a class parent and kids send envelopes to me and they reach me, so I dont think it would be an issue.

Re: Should I give money?

Should I give money?

How awful. I would give the money to the teacher. I don’t think you need to give a lengthy explanation just say which child it’s for. Though, I would think the school knows.

That’s a very nice thing for you to do. I hope they are able to receive donated Christmas gifts as well.

Should I give money?

Should I tell the teacher that it should be anonymous?
or it shouldn't be?
or don't say anything?

I was going to put $15 in an envelope with a post it that says "I know you're having a tough time now and I don't want you to stress about the book fair" and give that envelope to the teacher and ask her to put it in the kids backpack

just not sure if I should sign the note

Message edited 12/5/2019 9:11:33 PM.

Re: Should I give money?

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Message edited 6/1/2020 4:31:40 PM.

Should I give money?

Contact the social worker at school and you can donate the money through her. I'm sure they are aware of the situation. In our school, the PTA has a fund set up for the social worker to use for all our activities, book fair, holiday boutique, etc. for students in that exact position. It is very kind of you to look out for the child.

Re: Should I give money?

I would send in the envelope for the child with a note to the teacher saying you were made aware of a student's situation and you'd like to help to make their holidays a little less stressful. Ask her to let the parents know that their child's book money is covered but that you'd like to remain anonymous so that the mother doesn't feel weird or obligated when she sees you.

ETA - That is so thoughtful and kind of you. Happy Holidays!

Message edited 12/6/2019 9:46:11 AM.

Re: Should I give money?

That's so nice of you! I just did the same thing but I volunteered at the book fair so I was able to buy what the girl wanted. I wrote a quick note saying Happy Holidays and that was it. The school provides a piece of paper and pencil for the kids to go around and make a "wish list" when they don't have money.

I wouldn't write a note that says anything about knowing they are having a hard time. The mom will know why ... she doesn't need a reminder with your good deed. Just write that it's for the book fair and happy holidays. I've been there and it's tough. All the good thoughts that would start out with "I know it's been rough" would really bother me for some reason. I had anxiety 24/7 and someone reminding me about "my situation" while I would try to forget for a minute was the worst.

That was years ago, so thank God we're in a much better situation now and able to give back.

Re: Should I give money?

Posted by MsSissy

Posted by newlywedT

Posted by b2b777

I'd let the teacher know immediately that you plan to cover it and she can send a note home with the child.
So nice. Happy holidays.

Good idea....but (my worry wartness) is it 'my place' to let the teacher know about their family's financial situation?
I guess I can just tell the teacher I will cover it and to send a note home and not give a reason for covering it.

Thanks

The teacher and school are probably already aware.

I'd just give the envelope to the teacher. no questions asked or answered.

Very nice of you to do this.

Re: Should I give money?

I would NOT write what you wrote. Simply put the child's name and book fair money. Maybe add happy holidays, but nothing about "their situation" they know what their situation is and don't need a reminder.