Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

I know this seems like weird question, but before I started to TTC, my Mom (who is very old fashioned) told me that I shouldn't tell DH when I am ovulating because that puts too much pressure on him. The other day, I confided in my friend about my awful BD experience and she told me that she felt it was a woman's "duty" to keep the man from feeling pressured to conceive, or in other words--not tell him when you are ovulating.

I feel like there is such a short window of time each month to TTC, that the woman has no choice but to tell the man. I mean, I got a smiley one morning and by that afternoon it was gone!

What do you all think?

Message edited 4/5/2008 8:08:49 PM.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

I told him. I let him share in every moment of the whole experience..the waiting, the testing, the ovulating....everything.
I know some people disagree with that, and think the woman should know everything, and only let the man in on certain things...but I totally disagree. We were trying to have a baby together - it wasn't me trying and him going along for the ride (pun intended). If he is grown up enough to make a baby - he's grown up enough to know all of the details about how it happens.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

Yes! I tell my dh and it becomes a sort of contest for him. lol... men

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

i tell him because if i don't thats the night he will fall asleep on the couch or have a bad headache and not want to do anything but if i say its time he's ready no matter what!

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

I have been keeping DH in the loop but i have found that he performs better if he doesnt know. He doesnt know how perform under pressure.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

When we started out, I told him everything..but after months and months of trying, it started to get to him..it was just too much pressure to perform on demand. We took a month off because he just couldnt do it anymore, and then I left it up to him. I asked him if he wanted to know...its so easy to go from amazing romantic nights, to a race to get yours and make a baby.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

We have our moments...In the beginning DH wanted to know it all....He truly wanted to be a big part of the TTC. Now almost a year into it, we have decided to just let it go. If I remember to tell him, I do but it is not like I am "intentionally" hiding it. We wanted to keep as much passion & romantc nights as we could but there are times it is just about the TTC

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

I tell him.... every little detail. The look on his face when I describe my CM is quite priceless

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

The month that I didn't tell him was MUCH better. He kind of figured it by the imense amount of sex but he really was happier not knowing when I got the positive OPK.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

It's funny that this topic came up...

This was our 1st month TTC. I was on Clomid and using a trigger shot, since I don't O on my own. We're also under more pressure than most, because of my IF issues, and the fact that there is a lifetime maximum of 12 cycles that you can use Clomid.

Well, when the time came that we had to BD, we were unsuccessful the first 3 times we tried. DH was having trouble "performing", and I started to get really upset with him. He felt that the pressure was too much for him.

Next month, I'm toying with the idea of not telling him. I think it'll be better for him, because then he's not "psyching" himself out.

So my advice is: If it's getting to him, then just don't tell him when it's go time!

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

I say yes...

DH always asks me, "did you get your peak?"

So I know he wants to know!

Also, when we're not TTC, we definitely don't BD as much - so even if I didn't tell him, he'd know!

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

Message edited 4/6/2008 11:54:05 AM.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

Yes, i would tell him

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

Of course tell DH. Dh is just as into this as I am.. Why would I hide such a thing??

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

I've done it both ways. To be honest, it is much more fun when he didn't know. It wasn't as much of a chore.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

My DH did not want to know when I was Oing. I do think it put too much pressure on him. I would tell him during the 2WW that we were waiting to see.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

I didn't vote because I really think that you should discuss this with your DH and find out whether he wants to know or not. Even though my DH was 100% on board when we were TTCing last year, he didn't want to know all the details. But as you can see from the replies, some DHs do want to know.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

DH knows everything-- I mean, we're in this together.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

What a good topic! I have been debating this--- this is our first month so i have given DH his "schedule", but he didnt seem so thrilled with knowing...on the other hand, i didnt want to miss an opportunity!

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

as i already stated, i definitely tell him
i usually tell him a week before and then he checks my CBEFM when he gets home (he works nights) and its pretty cute
He'll call me and say "Babe, i saw an egg on the monitor!"

so then he knows whats up LOL

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

Absolutely. Especially now that I'm seeing an RE and have undergone a battery of tests, poking and prodding. DH doesn't have to endure ANY of the emotional or physical pain I've gone through in the last few months. It's comforting to know that one some level he's just as involved in this process, and just as much an equal partner in this endeavor.

Re: Should you tell DH when you are ovulating? W/ Poll

Well, I don't really have a choice as we do medicated cycles and IUI, but even if we were doing this naturally, I would tell him, he wants to be part of the process. I don't think he should be kept in the dark. And why should all the responsibility and burden be on you?