So frustrated with our Pedi.. What to do?

Oy. I'm on the fence about switching pediatricians.

First off, I know I have alot of displaced anger towards this pedi because she dismissed my concerns about DS for over a year when I expressed them to her. She never once suggested we call EI or have him evaluated even when I told her time and time again that DS spoke little other than chunk phrases from TV shows and songs. Never pointed, etc.. None of it ever concerned her.

WHen we got DS's diagnosis (which I did all the legwork to get - called EI without a referral, called all over Boston to get a Develop Pedi eval), she got the letter and I didn't hear from her for almost 8 weeks. I finally got a call from her nurse asking us if we needed help getting ABA therapy started for him. I asked her to have the Pedi call me since I thought it was probably about time we had a chat. She called me back 5 minutes later. I told her that we had to learn very quickly, on our own, how to navigate through the system with all of this. And had I lost another 8 weeks waiting for her to call me, I would have really been angry. She told me to call her if I ever needed any help getting him therapy in the future. OK. Great. Thanks.

Now, DS is about to turn 3 in a couple of weeks. Our insurance is being a pain in the neck about covering home ABA services. They want him to be followed by a psychiatrist (stupid, I know) and have the psych make the recommendation for ABA. So I called the ped to get a referral to a pediatric psychiatrist. I called 5 times last week and 3 times this week. No. Call. Back.

I really am done. I have always liked how she interacts with DS but I've never once felt heard. Every appointment I've left pretty much in tears because she dismisses everything I ever say or makes it seem unimportant. I know the right thing is to get DS to another pedi but I feel that we've been wronged by her time and time again. I wish I could tell her that without my emotions getting the best of me... So do I switch quietly or make a fuss? I still need a referral from her!

Re: So frustrated with our Pedi.. What to do?

I did not make a fuss. I just took my business elsewhere. I did ask for recommendation.

On our 1st visit, I clearly stated that DS was autistic. If it was going to be an issue. They said no.

I don't depend on them other than doing regular medical check up at this point. I don't expect them to follow up on any "developmental progress". We are passed that. They do work with him. His PED is really nice and patient.

I think you should change just because of this underlying resentment.

But I would not expect your PED to go further than regular medical visits/shots, etc...

Re: So frustrated with our Pedi.. What to do?

If I remember correctly, you do not live in NY, right? Here, services for EI and for preschool aged students are provided for by the county and/or the school district. You don't need your medical doctor to really do much of anything other than sign the forms approving the services. My DS was evaluated and approved for services independently from his medical doctor. I just bring forms from EI and now from the school he attends for them to sign, or ask them to renew prescriptions for his services.

It sounds like where you are, you are more dependent on your pediatrician for getting services. Either way, I would switch doctors. It doesn't sound like you are getting the attention or support you need for your DS. I would ask your therapists, anyone who has evaluated or provided services to your DS if they can recommend a doctor who is good with special needs kids.

Re: So frustrated with our Pedi.. What to do?

Re: So frustrated with our Pedi.. What to do?

Thanks for all the responses. I'm going to make his 3 year appointment at another office. I got two recommendations this evening for another local pedi who sees several of the kids in DS's new class.

So frustrating. I don't like having resentment for anyone. Especially someone who is supposed to be helpful when it comes to issues with our kids. But you are all right. I think I need to just view any pedi he has as someone who is JUST there to provide the signature on the health card for school

Message edited 5/20/2011 9:39:21 AM.

Re: So frustrated with our Pedi.. What to do?

Posted by ready2ttc

Posted by smdl
I don't depend on them other than doing regular medical check up at this point. I don't expect them to follow up on any "developmental progress". We are passed that. They do work with him. His PED is really nice and patient.

I think you should change just because of this underlying resentment.

But I would not expect your PED to go further than regular medical visits/shots, etc...

I agree. We called EI ourselves (you don't need a referral in NY), and navigated through everything without the ped.

But, it seems like you have ill-will, and it might be good to switch b/c of that. Do I remember that you live in Cape Cod? My cousin is a ped. there and excellent--she is amazing w/ DS. FM me if you want a recommendation.