so i went to my step-mothers 60th birthday party last night....

and everyone wanted to know what the baby was... so i said we're not sharing... yet and every single person said "thats because its a girl" well its not a girl its my 4th and final boy.... and the reson I am not telling anyone is because while i am very happy to be blessed to have a boy, I am still upset about not having a girl (make sence?) and maybe due to increased hormoans or whatever I cannot have a conversation about having another boy without crying and thinking about how I will never have a dd and all the things that come with it.... i told 2 friends and they were trying to be nice... but they looked all sad and said things like "at least its healthy" and "you can always try again" (thats a no) and "that sucks" and I feel like an idiot but I am still so sad, and feeling sad makes me feel horible... like theres something wrong with me, how so many people who would be happy just to have one child and I cry about helthy 4..... but i don't know how I can pull myself out of this, and I don't know how I am ggoing to ever be able to talk about this in my pregnancy.... I don't know... I really don't even know why I am writing this.... I guess I just need to get it out....

ETA: My step sisters son is in Iraq and she kept saying how he gets one phone call a day and he call s his G/F and she is totally replaced and this is generally was women of ds's have been telling me.... so I dunno.....

Message edited 10/5/2008 12:27:39 PM.

Re: so i went to my step-mothers 60th birthday party last night....

Vent away- We are here to listen! I'm on a child #1 so while I do not know what you're going through i could only imagine feeling the same exact way that you are if I was in the same situation!

Re: so i went to my step-mothers 60th birthday party last night....

Re: so i went to my step-mothers 60th birthday party last night....

I completely understand where you are coming from. I was initially disappointed as well when I found out we were having another girl. DH is STILL trying to wrap his brain around the idea that he will likely not have a son.

Don't feel bad- you know you'll get over it once the little one gets here.

I will say this though- little boys LOOooOOOoooVE their mommies more than anything. My DD prefers her daddy hands down and sometimes it makes me .

Re: so i went to my step-mothers 60th birthday party last night....

Thanks ladies....

Re: so i went to my step-mothers 60th birthday party last night....

I am sorry you are in that situation and I could only imagine how it feels since i have one DS and people are putting so much pressure on me that the next one is a girl (we are not finding out the sex)

It sux--but try to remain positive about the wonderful baseball team you will have and perhaps lovely DIL's and granddaughters also

Re: so i went to my step-mothers 60th birthday party last night....

I think that when you start sharing that you are having a boy, you will get excited about it. I know, you probably didn't want another opinion but I gave you mine anyway.

Also, I often hear the opposite of what you are hearing. People tell me that boys always love their mothers and stick by them. There's no real generalization that can be made about how your child will be in 20 years.

Re: so i went to my step-mothers 60th birthday party last night....

It's ok to vent. I am sure it's not easy to want something so much and not be able to get it. Maybe in a couple of years, you'll have a ooops and you'll get your little girl. Honestly though, I can't imagine having so many kids but people did it back in our parents time and had large families, so if you had 4 and really want a girl that bad I would try again in a few years. At least that's what I would do if I was in your position. As a teacher, I've seen a few parents with alrge families be wonderful parents in a small budget. ALl I'm saying is don't loose hope, just keep the option in the back of your mind. If you want it badly enough I think you'll go for it.
XOXOXOXO
BOTB

Re: so i went to my step-mothers 60th birthday party last night....

I'm sorry you're so disappointed.

But don't assume that you'll ever be 'replaced' by your sons' GFs or wives .....
Some mothers have incredible relationships with their sons, and some have AWFUL relationships with their daughters ........Having a girl does not GUARANTEE you that mother/daughter bond - you know?

And there's nothing 'wrong' with you for being disappointed it's not a girl - and I agree with you to keep it quiet, you shouldn't have to explain your disappointment away, and people tend to say STUPID things regardless........Keep the news to yourself until YOU feel comfortable telling people -

Message edited 10/6/2008 9:30:31 AM.