So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

i am really having a hard time with things going on around me at the moment ........ maybe writing it will help ..



i am struggerling to cope with everything and having everyone around me think ive got it all together but inside im screaming for help but dont know where to begin ......

i have NO help no family on either side at all my DH works long hours and a child that is having some problems on top of an infant who needs alot from me ......
i feel very alone and complely overwelmed most of the time my DS is now showing signs of jelousy towards his new sister and hasnt slept through the night in months ..

im scared that im not spending enough time with either of them and it is starting to have an impact on DS ...

today has been hard as DH has not participated at all and if i have spoken to him he has snapped at me so it is easier to just ignore each other ... but that is a whole other story with im not prepared to get into .....

i feel like i am constantly running but getting no where i feel sad alot of the time and even cry i feel very alone and i never get to do anything for myself .......

now i know that alot of people have it alot worse than me and i should be grateful for all i have and i know that having children is never easy especially as close together as i have chosen to do but im worried that maybe im getting PPD again and not knowing where to turn for support and with so many people around me with their own issues i hate to feel like im a burden....


im really trying to be present right now and i dont think im doing a very good job ...if you have read this far thankyou im not even sure this will help but i dont know where else to turn right now .....

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I feel for you. It is so hard especially in the beginning. Maybe you could call your ob gyn and they can recommend someone that you can go see. That helped me so much. I would recommend the person I saw but he stopped taking insurance. But if you need him fm me. I hope it gets better.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I have been where you are and I actually still feel lke that on most days. I wish I had an easy answer for you because that would mean that I had a handle on mine also.

I am here if you ever need to vent!

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I'm so sorry you are going through all that. I only have one so I can only imagine how difficult two little ones are.
Can you talk to your ob or dr about the PPD?
In the meantime, maybe some of the moms/dads on this board can help out - watching one while you spend time with the other - running errands - shopping.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Do you have a friend that you can talk to? Or one that can come over and just play with the kids while you shower or nap? Or go out for a bit? I think you shoudl sit down and talk to your DH. Can he come home one or two nights earlier from work to help you? Or on a weekend morning, can you just go out for coffee alone or take a walk? If not, I would call you ob'byn and see ifthey can recommend a therapist (or do it sooner if you want). I think it's totally normal. {{hugs}}

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

thankyou to those who have responded .....

i guess other posts are waaaayyyyy more interesting !!!

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

im so sorry u have to go through this but u should really talk to someone about it....get it out to a dr/professional....maybe they will have advice or something to help u to get through

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

It is understandable that you feel sad and overwhelmed- you are doing it ALL with barely any help. You are alone with the kids most of the time.

You need to treat yourself- do something for YOU. When was the last time you had dinner/lunch with a friend, a manicure? I remember being a new mom- getting my hair cut/highlighted was great. Just to sit alone with a magazine.

See if there is a sitter you can get- or if DH can watch them alone on a weekend for a little while. Also- talk to your OB for PPD. I had it too- and I got better- but it took a little time
hang in there

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I"m sorry you are having such a rough time. I think you need some time, just a few hours to yourself, Can DH take over for a bit on the weekend? or maybe have a mother's helper a few hours a week, so you can catch a break? I never had PPD, but I do know how it is to be totally overwhelmed and feeling alone

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I'm sorry you are going through this - I can imagine how stressful two young kids must be

The only thing I can suggest is telling your DH the severity of what's going on. He needs to pick up the slack and give you a break. I can't stand these men that think the responsibility falls soley on the wife to take care of the children. You need a break too and some time to yourself. I hope you get it soon!

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I am sorry you are going through this. Can you ask your doctor for help if it is PPD? I have no other suggestions but just wanted to give

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I'm so sorry you feel this way...

You sound very overwhelmed, and rightfully so.

I really think you should make an appointment and talk to someone...because if it is PPD, then these feelings may not go away, which can't benefit anyone - especially you and your DC...

Even if you have nobody to watch the kids (including DH, although he should after you tell him exactly how you're feeling), bring them along...better to talk to someone who can listen to you objectively and help you.

Again, I'm so sorry you feel this way!

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

It is completely understandable to feel that you aren't spending enough time with both of them. I would say that most moms of 2 feel that way - and it is particularly strong in the beginning.

It's also understandable that your son may be showing signs of jealousy at first. He will get over it. The best part of it is that no child - or adult for that matter - should feel that the world revolves around them. Before #2 came along, it did. He will adjust his expectations - and good thing too because I think the world has too many men that have moms that would still wipe their tushes if they wouldn't be mocked over it.

I don't think sleep disruption is from a new sibling. Looking at your profile, your son is 3 years old, right? That's when they start to have a fear of things and become more aware that the world around them may not be safe. It's the age when they start to become obsessed with superheroes (boys) or magic & fairies (girls) - and it's all normal. Since you do need sleep, maybe talk to him about what is getting him up? Does he have a night light or dimmer switch in his room. I think that was the age where monsters were discussed at length. We used to say "There are no monsters allowed in this house. If you see a monster, you tell them mommy & daddy said no monsters are allowed in this house & they have to leave. Tell them to go down the hall, open the front door & get out because those are our rules. Also remind him, he has to close the door on the way out." Someone else I know labeled air freshner "Monster Spray", another went through the lengths of checking every closet in the house. Ask him why he's waking up. He may have some ideas of his own.

I really think you should give your ob a call. I don't know much about ppd, but given that you had it before getting help sooner rather than later is better for you & for your family.

I don't know about your marital woes but please know that there will be a time in your life where your children will entertain themselves and you will be able to focus more on each other. For now, just try to get through the rough patch.

I would consider getting out more if you can - library playgroups, mother's centers. I don't know what special needs your son has but it sounds like you could use some good friends. We all have problems. Whatever problem is the biggest problem you're facing is YOUR biggest problem. It doesn't make it less important because someone else has bigger problems. Don't belittle your needs.

Hang in there. It always, always gets better.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

Posted by nrthshgrl

It is completely understandable to feel that you aren't spending enough time with both of them. I would say that most moms of 2 feel that way - and it is particularly strong in the beginning.

It's also understandable that your son may be showing signs of jealousy at first. He will get over it. The best part of it is that no child - or adult for that matter - should feel that the world revolves around them. Before #2 came along, it did. He will adjust his expectations - and good thing too because I think the world has too many men that have moms that would still wipe their tushes if they wouldn't be mocked over it.

I don't think sleep disruption is from a new sibling. Looking at your profile, your son is 3 years old, right? That's when they start to have a fear of things and become more aware that the world around them may not be safe. It's the age when they start to become obsessed with superheroes (boys) or magic & fairies (girls) - and it's all normal. Since you do need sleep, maybe talk to him about what is getting him up? Does he have a night light or dimmer switch in his room. I think that was the age where monsters were discussed at length. We used to say "There are no monsters allowed in this house. If you see a monster, you tell them mommy & daddy said no monsters are allowed in this house & they have to leave. Tell them to go down the hall, open the front door & get out because those are our rules. Also remind him, he has to close the door on the way out." Someone else I know labeled air freshner "Monster Spray", another went through the lengths of checking every closet in the house. Ask him why he's waking up. He may have some ideas of his own.

I really think you should give your ob a call. I don't know much about ppd, but given that you had it before getting help sooner rather than later is better for you & for your family.

I don't know about your marital woes but please know that there will be a time in your life where your children will entertain themselves and you will be able to focus more on each other. For now, just try to get through the rough patch.

I would consider getting out more if you can - library playgroups, mother's centers. I don't know what special needs your son has but it sounds like you could use some good friends. We all have problems. Whatever problem is the biggest problem you're facing is YOUR biggest problem. It doesn't make it less important because someone else has bigger problems. Don't belittle your needs.

Hang in there. It always, always gets better.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I don't have much advice, but wanted to give you .

Try to talk to friends/family about how you are feeling and don't be afraid to ask for help.

Everyone wants to be the best mom, and it's normal to question yourself.

It means that you are TRYING and you care and you want to do all you can.

See if you can talk to DH about how you are feeling. Or, if it is difficult for you, is there a woman close to DH (like his sister, mom) who can maybe explain to him that PPD is very real and comes in varying degrees, and that you need his support right now?

I hope you feel better.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

Mine are 16 month apart- I TOTALLY understand how you feel.

i am very lucky that i have help from family.

Can we help you so you don't feel so alone?

Some babysitting? Some playdates? Are you on LI?

I had PPD- if you have it- which you might not- it is completely treatable!

Please FM if you need to chat. I wish we can help in some way.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I was the same way not too long ago. My DH and I bickered about everything too. I didnt know how to divide my time 50/50 between the kids. I felt like I hurt my DS by having my DD. It was rough but we all made it thru it. I cried many times a day for weeks. I posted for help, tips, tricks and advice on here and a lot of the other mommies were really able to help me get thru it. I even called my OB one day hysterical b/c I didnt know what was wrong. My DC are only 11 months apart so I know how you feel. Trust me when I say, it gets easier. I promise you!
FM me if you need to talk, you are not alone.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I went thru this with Cailen in the beginning - I can't imagine 2 No advice, but lots of

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

lots of hugs to you. I can understand how you are feeling. It wll get better but its getting through it thats tough--maybe talk to someone but in the meantime VENT IT OUT.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I went through PPD as well. It's not easy and I can't imagine how you must feel with 2.

I hope you call your OB and talk to her/him. I got a few names from my OB and went to talk to someone within the next few days. I can't tell you how much it helped.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I think maybe talk to your doctor for sure. I had a hard time adjusting with just one so two and so close together is just so hard. I hope you are feeling better very soon.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. The only way I could be getting through having 2 kids, working full time, and trying to work on my own business is with a lot of help from family. I DEMAND that DH watch the kids when i need to go out or get things done. If he has an attitude at all I just leave the house. He does get over it. But he rarely gets angry he welcomes the opportunity to watch the kids. I have however been where you are right now i had some depression issues after having DS i just didnt think i could handle it all. The best thing that you can do is to take care of yourself. Your kids are important but you have to do things for yourself. You need to get out by yourself atleast once or twice per week. Trust me once you get to hang out with friends, go have dinner with friends, nails done, hair done, go to a lounge/bar, dancing whatever have you you will feel so much better. What are some of the things you liked to do before you had kids? YOU CAN still do those things. Just because you had kids doesnt mean you have to stop "doing you" if you KWIM. Hope this helps and best of luck to you.

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

My children are 20 months apart and it was difficult in the beginning. Even with DH's help, I was still overwhelmed a times. Your doing a great job, and your kids have a great mommy!

Re: So im thinking that this may be cathardic for me to get out .....

i just wanted to thankyou all for the amazing amount of supportive and very generous offers through FM

i am overwelmed by all of your kindness and it really has helped me to know that i have such a strong support group on here

you girls really are the most wonderful and careing people i have ever had the pleasure to talk with and i apprieciate all of your support .......

i will be calling the doctor today to discuss my options as far as the PPD is concerned ...

again thankyou all so much