So, tell us what to really expect!!!

What are some things us first time moms are not being told about labor and delivery?! I'm sure there is always something that no one would know until it happens. What are some things that happened to you that you didn't expect, or thought, was part of labor and delivery?

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

Well I had a c-section so I can't comment on labor but what was such a surprise afterward was that the nurses came into the bathroom with me and monitored me as I went to the bathroom. (Sorry, TMI) It was weird and embarrassing.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I never thought I wouldn't have time for an epidural!!!

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I also had a c-section, so I can't tell you about delivering that way. If yoiu really want to know...I never thought how much contractions really hurt or how much pain I would be in after a c-section. I also hated the feeling of leaking after my water broke....

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

Umm, first time moms are not told that getting through labor and delivery is a piece of cake compared to getting through the first four weeks with a newborn.

(and I had a really tough delivery with a fourth degree tear... but I was in a good hospital with lots of great professionals to take care of me there...)

To actually answer your question --
I'm guessing you already know that most moms poop on the table. I didn't expect the large number of people who came into the room at one time or another -- I thought it would be one nurse and one doctor. By the time the baby was born there were probably 8 different people in the room.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I spent so much time being anxious and scared over L and D- I wish I knew it would not be as scary as I thought it would be because at the time you are just so ready to get the baby out and you realize as its happening there is no way to stop it, so you just kind of go with it.

I also didn't know the recovery would be so bad, I also had a 4th degree laceration and it hurt so much for 2 weeks.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I never thought that I would overestimate labor pains to the point I could do it without any medication.

I didn't know that I would throw up during labor.

I didn't know the right way to push (just like you're having a bowel movement).

I never thought I would need an extra copy of my admission papers because my husband would be filling them out & miss Maddie's birth.

I never thought I wouldn't care if a stranger saw me with my legs up in the air.

I never thought I had so much cellulite on my butt until I looked into that mirror.

I knew that after the birth I would shake like an epileptic from all of the adrenaline in my body. I didn't know that DH didn' t know that.

I didn't know how much having coughing after delivery would make me worry I was going to pop a stitch.

I didn't know how important it was to have to sitz bottles in each bathroom until I was in the downstairs bathroom & the bottle was in the upstairs one.

I didn't realize how much leaving my baby in the hospital after I delivered would tear my heart out or how amazing I would feel when I brought him home.

I didn't realize that someone could wake me up multiple times in the middle of the night - and I wouldn't care at all.

And of course, I never ever realized how much I would or could love another person until I had my own children.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

Message edited 5/30/2006 8:52:56 PM.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

For my experience, I really, truly, didn't know how easy labor and delivery would be. I was scared TO DEATH of the whole process. So muchso, that I laid on the couch for 2 days before going to the hospital because I was told that if I walk around labor would progress. Well, I didn't want to go into labor so I laid ont he couch for 2 days knowing I was having contractions.

I aslo didn't know I would go to 8 cm without any drugs. I had back labor, the contractions weren't bad for me. I also thought I'd beg for the epidural, I go tit but only because I was 8 cm and didn't want to know what the actual delivery would feel like.

I also never knew that if you don't pee after delivery they will have to insert a catheter.

I never knew I would feel up to taking a shower 6 hours after giving birth. I honestly didn't expect to feel so good throughout my recovery.

I never expected to miss the hospital. I guess all of the attention and taking care of me was missed, so much so that I cried a few days after giving birth.

I didn't think my DH was be as good of a coach as he was. I thought he would pass out or not look "down there", but he was all up in the action.

I also didn't know they monitor your first few urinations, noone ever told me that. But, I peed so much the first time, I met my quota

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I agree about the sitz baths and squirt bottles, I also had a 4th degree tear and it got uncomfortable after sitting or standing for a while. They really helped. And ask for dermoplast before you leave. That also provides relief.

Also agree that I didn't realize how many people would be in the room, nor that I just wouldn't care at that point.

DH wasn't prepared that I would get the shakes. I'd warned him about the high possibility of pooping or vomiting, but forgot to mention that. Totally freaked him out.

As stupid as it sounds, I didn't realize how exhausted I would be after delivery. I knew I'd be tired, but I didn't realize it would be the most tired I'd ever been, coupled with all this euphoria that she was here and healthy, I was in this weird state where I felt like I was there but I wasn't. If that makes sense.

I was totally unprepared for just how heavy the lochia would be. For the first 2 weeks, I went through an overnight pad in an hour. I thought it would be like a regular period.

After we got home, I was terrified I'd pop a stitch when I pooped, coughed, laughed, etc, but I didn't. Whew!

When you get home, everyone will tell you to nap when the baby does, the laundry etc will eventually get done. TRY TO DO THIS. The days I ran around trying to make the house perfect for people to come over I was exhausted and cranky, when I was smart enough to relax I was able to enjoy learning about Sarah more.

You will be very surprised at how resiliant and strong you are. It's an amazing experience and no matter how scary it seems before hand, in hindsight it didn't seem as bad. Good luck!

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

the best advice I can give you is each and every person's experience is completely different.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I was in labor nearly 27 hours and was up chit chatting on the phone and not nearly as exhausted as I thought I would be...don't worry you will do great

not gonna lie....contractions are a b!tch

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I agree with the comments about labor...you never know what its going to be like since everyone is different. I had a GREAT experience. Even though I had a 3rd degree laceration, Motrin was all I needed after one night of perkaset (sp?).

I never knew how much my hormones were going to take over after the birth. I am pretty laid back to begin with and my pg was the same. However, I never thought I would be affected by the "baby blues". I would say there was a good 3 -4 week span of depression now that I look back on it. I put on a good show for everyone else, but inside I felt like I lost myself.

Nobody told me you could get hemmoroids weeks after giving birth

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

they don't let you sleep in the hospital they were taking my blood pressure at 4 am.

I missed the nurses when I went home...I loved the security of knowing they knew what to do with the baby! I had no clue!

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I had a c-section and what was really really strange for me was them coming in 2X in the night to clean me. They gave me a sponge bath and cleaned me up -down there- and I was so shocked and so embarassed because I didn't know they'd do something like that, plus I just wanted to SLEEP! But when I look back I am glad they did it because I felt a lot better afterwards, and I learned it's common and not some strange thing that they did just for me.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

For the most part, my delivery was great. I dilated pretty quick so I was able to get the epidural shortly after my contractions started to get bad. The epidural made me throw up though. And, it didn't block the pain of pushing - towards the end I could feel the stretching and burning. But I only felt that for 2 rounds of pushing and out came the baby.
I had an episiotomy, but all I needed for pain was the motrin that they gave me.

The best advice I can give is that when they offer you a stool softener after delivery, TAKE IT! Those first few bowel movements were the scariest thing I've ever experienced! It was not fun! After that, I was taking the colace (stool softener), eating raisin bran, drinking tons of water and prune juice (it really doesn't taste that bad).

Message edited 5/30/2006 11:46:08 PM.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

Posted by Moehick

not gonna lie....contractions are a b!tch

Message edited 5/30/2006 10:04:22 PM.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I also didnt realize just how painful contractions were.

Didnt know how to push either and my Dr. was a complet Ahole which didnt help matters.

Also didnt like the feeling of the water leaking out of me after they broke my water.

Didnt realize how wonderful an epidural could be and would have taken it in my eyeball if need be.

I didnt understand how after pushing like 3 times my son wasnt born. I was totally exhausted and felt that 3 pushes should have been sufficient, didnt know it could take 2 hrs of pushing to get him out!!!!

Wasnt prepared for a hemmorhoid the size of florida after delivering..

And finally, couldnt believe that I actually took part in witnessing the greatest miracle of my life. And sooo did not expect to LOVE someone so much to the point where I still cry when I look at him.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I agree with the above comments. I was in labor for 31 long hours and I actually was really glad that I did not have a c-section.

The pain you feel is like none other.

I hated the feeling that you were going to poop all over the place when you were pushing and the feeling that your rectum was tearing in two--(mine did!) I had grade 4 lacerations as well.

I had a tough labor--nothing went easy, but I went with as I did not know any different.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I would agree with everything everybody says, but not to underestimate how hard Breast Feeding is. Not every baby takes to it right away and you need to work hard at it. Your baby is not starving right away and in fact not for a few days, so don't freak out about baby not getting any food.

I would strongly agreee that giving birth is so easy compared to the first few weeks home with a baby. Take all the help you can get, even if you think you want to be alone, make sure someone comes in with some food, to do some cleaning for you, to watch the baby while you and your husband have a quick little nap. Also, you will cry. And cry you will. I cried everytime I sang to the baby and to this day I can't listen to Close to you by the Carpenters without wanting to cry. Oh and babies cry, and they wake up in the night, and they want to be close to you, and they want to eat and they poo a lot and they are beautiful...

But holy crap. Are they ever a lot of hard work!!!

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

thank you so much for all your advice! i don't know if i'm more scared now though than BEFORE i asked!

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

Posted by jersee3380

thank you so much for all your advice! i don't know if i'm more scared now though than BEFORE i asked!

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

I had what I think was an easy delivery and enjoyed the whole experience. I was in labor at home and just made sure to breathe through my contractions and made sure to focus on something and when I got to the hospital I was 5-6cm and even though the pain was getting more intense I know I could've done it without the epi. but I didn't want to. I wanted to get some rest but by time I received the epi. I was pushing an hour an half later. I thought the delivery of my son was a breeze campared to the afterbirth. The delivery of placenta was painful for me and then when the Dr. went in to clean me up inside hurt was so uncomfortable and when she stiched up my episomity. The nurses were great about telling me what to expect afterwards. She told me when I got up for the time there will be a gush of blood and not to worry and I was worried about being embarassed but then I realized that these women do this everyday so I got over it and she helped me and she showed me how to clean myself. They gave me motrin the day I delivered and they told me to ask for it every 4 hours but I didnt and I wish I did because the next day I felf like I got run over by a truck. From my neck down to my toes every muscle hurt from pushing, but that only lasted a few hours and once I moved around I actually felt better. They gave me a stool softner from the beginning which I was nervous about but they assured me that it would it help so I took that and the laxitive and it really helped. I was nervous I was going to pop a stich pooping but my Dr. reassured me that it won't happen and it didn't. You feel alot of pressure and you feel swollen so make sure you use the peri pads they give you with the witch hazel cloths and the dibucane cream. I did the whole process religously for 10 days and I really think that helped with the healing. I also didnt think I would be so in love with Luka, to the point where I would cry when they brought him the nursey for visiting hours. It is so hard to be apart from them and also how you see everything. I dont care about anything anymore. He and my DH come first.

Even though people had told me what to except just like they are telling you, you still dont really know what to expect because it is different in every situation. I wish you the best of luck and just go along with what your body tells you to do and remember to breathe because I think it hurts more when you dont.

Re: So, tell us what to really expect!!!

Here's a link to a post I started a few months ago on the preg. board after I delivered.

Good luck!

what nobody tells you about L&D